


Show Me

by EddieFook



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Agender, Anal Sex, Asexual, Dean and Cas are step brothers, Destiel - Freeform, John's A+ Parenting, Lots of Sex, M/M, Multi, Naomi is a bitch, Panty Kink, Public Sex, Semi-Public Sex, Transvestite, Voyeurism, agender!Benny, asexual!Benny, autistic!sam, destiel smut, sexual awakening, transvestite!cas
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-07-06
Updated: 2017-11-06
Packaged: 2018-07-22 00:26:56
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 16
Words: 69,668
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7411180
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EddieFook/pseuds/EddieFook
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Castiel and Dean met when they were young and their parents married. But neither can deny that there is something more between them. Cas has felt different all his life and now he will need Dean to help him find his true self, will everyone around them accept their relationship? Will Dean be able to survive all of Cas's changes?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So another awesome start! I'm super excited for this one, I've been working on it for a really long time and I finally feel ready enough to share it with you. 
> 
> This story was a lot of pushing myself out of my comfort zone, I really wanted to write as many different perspectives as possible, so there will be asexuality and agender relationships, there will be autism and transvestiteism (is that a word? not sure). The most important thing I want to say about this work is that I'm learning. If I got anything wrong or you associate with anything I'm writing and I've done it terribly please message me and let me know. I really want to learn and write from these different perspectives and so far I've really enjoyed working in this and I hope you will enjoy reading it.

“No.”

“Come on Dean.”

“No.”

“Dean,” Cas rolled his eyes as his step-brother firmly set his jaw.

“Not gonna happen, Nancy Drew.” Cas groaned and hit Dean hard on the shoulder.

“You know that was _nine_ years ago and I was _six_.”

“Uh-huh, and you cried when dad asked if you wanted to set it aside when we all sat down to dinner.” Dean guffawed he still remembered this little kid hanging on to his _Nancy Drew_ book as hard as he could. Instead of a security blanket Cas had a book.

“Oh come on,” Cas threw his hands up. “I haven’t been pressuring you,” Dean snorted, “ _Ok_ I haven’t been pressuring you _much_. I waited until you were eighteen and I know you’re bi, so I don’t see the problem.” Dean stared at his step-brother incredulously.

“You don’t see the problem?” he whispered harshly. “Fucking hell, Cas, there’s a pretty huge damn problem. You’re _fifteen_ ,” Cas shrugged.

“Is that a problem? Because it hasn’t seemed to bug you before.” Dean narrowed his eyes.

“And those others didn’t matter. No,” he spoke over Cas’s opened mouth. “Don’t go all heart eyes and shit. What I meant is that it didn’t matter that I didn’t care about calling them back, and it would matter to you and I don’t want to call back.”

“Fuck, Dean,” Cas huffed a laugh. “I just asked because I don’t want to be a virgin anymore, I don’t care who it’s with.” That was the wrong thing to say because Dean’s face closed off and he rose from his bed. he got up and took his wallet out, threw twenty bucks down and stalked out. “What’s this for?”

“For a prostitute, be sure you tell them you’re a cherry they might give you a discount.” Cas flinched at the door slam and Dean’s footsteps stomping off.

“Did you fight?” Sam’s head poked in through the bathroom that connected his room and Cas and Dean’s.

“No,” Cas scrubbed his face.

“It sounded like a fight. When Dean slams a door that means he is angry and angry is a fight.” Cas looked at his brother. With Dean it always felt like they were two boys sharing parents, but with Sam they were brothers. Perhaps because they were nearer in ages, or perhaps because Sam with his autistic brain would turn only to Cas for translation.

“Yes, it was a fight.”

“Is he going to sleep in my room?” Sam started to get nervous and his hands twitched near his arm.

“No, it wasn’t that bad of a fight.”

“But slammed doors means fight.”

“Yeah, but there are different levels.”

“Levels,” Sam was confused.

“Like emotions, you know about different emotions.”

“Anger, sad, happy, and fear.”

“Right.”

“And you can feel two, I can be angry sad that Dean at the last piece of pizza.” Cas laughed and nodded. Sam calmed he knew his brother never would laugh at him.

“Yep, and you can be happy for pizza and happy for Lucifer.” Sam nodded hard. Lucifer was his turtle, Sam had been ready to name it after an angel when the little guy had bit him when the boy was trying to put him in his tank. So Lucifer it was.

“So was your fight for Lucifer or pizza?” Cas looked confused. “I feel happy with pizza and I feel more happy with Lucifer.” Cas sat back and thought.

“I guess it was a pizza fight. I said something stupid.”

“Oh,” Sam pretended like he understood. “Do you know what fixes a pizza argument?”

“Nope.”

“Pizza,” Sam said slyly looking at his brother though the corner of his eye. Cas guffawed and Sam felt a balloon of happy that his joke was a success.

“Yeah and are you going to have a pizza fight with me so you can have pizza?”

“Maybe,” Sam rose and started to walk away. “But fix it with Dean, he’s very sensitive.” The door closed and Cas marveled in how right Sam was. He got up and went to the garage knowing he’d find Dean there.

Loud music was blaring and he saw Dean’s bowlegs hanging out under the car. Cas sighed and crawled under. Dean noticed him but refused to look in his direction or stop his work.

“I’m sorry,” Cas said quietly. “I didn’t mean to offend you.”

“Whatever Cas,” Dean was less gruff so Cas was a little forgiven. “But I’m still not doing you.”

“Why?” They could be louder under the car with the music going. “I know you’ve had a lot of partners and it’s practically someone new every weekend so why?”

“First off because I’m not some fuck toy you get to play with. Second, because technically we’re family and third we have the same parents.”

“Yeah but I’ve never seen…”

“Damn it Cas, I’m not going to ever say yes!” Dean practically shouted and the garage was eerily silent between them despite AC/DC blaring around them.

“Well, ok, I’m sorry I asked,” Cas looked at his hands and started to slide out. Dean didn’t stop him and just glared at the car above him. “You know,” Cas bent over and looked under the car at the stoic eighteen year old. “I’m not that kid holding a book anymore. I’m sorry you don’t see that.”

When Dean finally got the nerve to look over Cas was gone.

***

Dean was able to regain some sort of normality after that. At least Cas let him be sane rather than keep him awake with questions about what does sex feel like, and how do you know if the person is right, and should you kiss during sex, and what if you do something unintentional and your partner thinks its rude, and is it ok to have sex if you don’t love the person, and where are the best places to touch someone, and what can you do to have a good orgasm, and will it hurt, and, and, and.

And Dean hadn’t necessarily been uncomfortable but he wasn’t comfortable either. It was _Cas_ asking him all these questions and Dean had no idea why or what he felt when they were lying in the dark of their room waiting for sleep and that was when Cas’s brain suddenly lit up with hundreds of questions about sex.

It was a whole lot more awkward after the first “Will you have sex with me?” came out and Dean had to pretend like he was asleep.

But the question kept coming.

It seemed after their “pizza fight” Cas dropped the question, and all questions about sex entirely. And Dean was at peace and relieved.

Sort of.

It wasn’t until the weekend Naomi and John decided to take a vacation on their own. They had never intended to become the Brady Bunch nine years ago but Cas’s father walked out on Naomi when she told him she was pregnant and John’s first wife died shortly after giving birth to Sam. They met and when Cas was six, Sam five, Dean nine they all went to the park together for the first time. Cas and Sam seemed inseparable from the beginning, it seemed the young boy could understand Sam’s language just like Dean could and Naomi and John took it as a sign. They married a year later and a very anxious Castiel was given _The Secret Staircase_ as a move in present. He was terrified of the big boy he was to share a room with and held onto the book as tightly as he could even taking it to bed with him.

Over the years Dean became his best friend and the trio were hard to separate.

Until Dean went to high school, Sam to a special school for children with autism, and Cas by himself to middle school. Dean started sleeping around, and he still came home and told Cas everything and (as he hero worshiped Dean) Cas couldn’t wait to pop his cherry too. But nothing happened, they were two weeks away from graduation, Dean was going off to college (a thought scaring the hell out of Cas for several reasons) and he was going to be a junior and nothing had changed.

Until tonight.

Cas waved goodbye to their parents and couldn’t help feeling like his stomach was doing somersaults on a roller coaster. 

Dean was left in charge, he’d been before and the boys were left with takeout money and Netflix. Sam took over the remote early and they all groaned when he turned on _Grey’s Anatomy_.

“I want to be a doctor, these people are doctors.”

“So if you wanted to be a serial killer would you watch _Dexter_?” Dean plopped down on the sofa next to his little brother.

“Yes, that would be adequate.”

Cas didn’t say much through the night his stomach threatening to leap into his throat and tell what he’d desperately tried to keep silent all week. But he was successful, Sam and Dean were so into watching _Grey’s Anatomy_ a show Dean secretly loved but his gruff bad boy exterior wouldn’t allow him to admit it. So big brother teased little brother and the boy would only roll his eyes and say nothing more.

Cas made pasta and sauce, if only for the reason to stay away from his brother and Dean. He was so nervous and he wanted to ask Dean a thousand questions but the boy wouldn’t hear of it. So Cas was left to fend for himself and he was a little terrified if he was honest.

“Hey you were quiet tonight, usually you try and fight to get the remote so you can watch _Animal Planet_ ,” Dean said as they were undressing for the night. Cas nodded curtly and spoke with his back to Dean.

“I, um, don’t feel well, I think I caught the flu that’s going around.” He climbed into bed and Dean frowned at him.

“Ok…let me know if you need anything in the night.”

“Yeah,” Cas pulled his covers up. “Dean?”

“Hmm?”

“Don’t worry if I leave, I feel like I might throw up and I don’t want to do it in our bathroom and worry Sam.”

“Worry Sam? You mean Dr. Sammy who will diagnose fifteen different things and try to give you an IV? That Sam?” Cas huffed a laugh.

“Ok fine I’m being selfish, I don’t want him hovering.”

“That’s honesty,” Dean’s voice was heavy and soon Cas heard him falling asleep.

He got up softly and went out into the hall and downstairs.

 _I’m free_. He texted and his phone vibrated almost instantly.

_I’m at the corner, baby._

Cas had a dithering moment of indecision, did he invite the guy inside? Would he be offended by the garage? There was the couch in the back of the garage and that would be safer… So he went to the door of the garage and waved at the dark figure walking up the driveway.

“Hey, cutie,” Michael slid his arm around Cas’s shoulder. He was a senior like Dean and no one messed with him. When he came out half the school pretended to be gay because Mike made it _cool_. He was handsome to the last centimeter, with gorgeous eyes and brown hair and Cas was deeply attracted to him. Why the dude would agree was beyond him but Cas was eager to get this going.

He pulled the boy along and Michael laughed softly. “Cars ain’t my thing sweetie, not when there are plush beds right on the other side of that door.” Cas shook his head.

“My brother is home and he’s kind of protective.”

“Dean?” Mike laughed, “Yeah I guess he would be. But come on baby,” he smiled and when Cas pointed to the sofa the boy leaned his whole body into Cas’. “Hey, come on honey, there are nice _warm_ beds upstairs. I’ll be quiet, I swear,” he cooed in Cas’s ear, “I don’t know about you, sugar, but I know you’d rather be on a nice, flat bed to roll around on and not some nasty couch in the back of your garage.” Cas leaned his neck open so Michael could lick and suck on it. “Do you really want to look back on this moment and remember oil stains?” Cas shook his head and he felt a smile on his neck. “Good boy.”

Cas shivered as he took Michael’s hand but his courage failed him when he got into the house. There were no open beds, he and Dean shared, Sam’s, and their parents’.

“We could,” Cas whispered pointing to the huge couch that could fit six people evenly.

“I told you sweetie I’m not going on a couch.”

“Well the only bed open is my mom and dad’s.” Michael seemed to want to argue but he could tell Cas was ready to let him walk out on this point so he shrugged. He pushed Cas back on the sofa and pulled his tee-shirt off. He opened his belt and fly and reveled in the reverent way Cas looked at him. The boy was going to worship him like a god, and that’s what got Michael off. It was the reason he really only slept with freshmen and sophomores now because they treated him like a fucking god and Michael had been hard all night thinking of how Cas was going to kneel at his feet and worship him.

“I am going to claim that pretty little ass, but first I’m going to claim that pretty little mouth. Open your lips cutie.” Cas did as instructed and Michael let his pants and boxers drop to his ankles. “Are you a virgin here too sweetie?” Cas nodded and the look in Michael’s eyes was dark and hungry. “If it gets too much or you’re having trouble breathing tap my hip.” Not that he was going to do anything about it but it always helped if his partners were at ease. Cas nodded and he licked at the tip before Michael shoved in his mouth.

It wasn’t mind blowing, Cas decided, but it was nice. He was supposed to be rubbish his first time out anyway so he didn’t really care about himself, he wanted to make sure Michael was having a good time. So no matter what he was not going to tap out.

So he relaxed his jaw and let the senior thrust away and fuck into his mouth. It was nice…pleasant. Cas couldn’t figure out how to relax his throat so when Mike hit deep in his mouth he had to swallow the saliva and choke. His eyes watered but Michael didn’t let up and Cas was grateful, it meant the boy was having a good time and Cas was making that happen.

Michael slowly pulled out and rubbed at the red, shiny lips.

“Good boy,” he petted Cas’s hair and the young boy beamed. Michael turned him so he was on all fours and Cas shivered when he felt Michael line up behind him. This was it. No more Castiel the virgin. He would be like Dean, his hero.

“Are you ready?” Cas felt his pajama pants being pulled down enough to free his cock and ass the fabric pooling at his bent knees.

“Y-yes,” he breathed.

Michael was slow, he started by slapping his cock against Cas’s ass a few times and then just grinding himself into the cleft and Cas had to moan onto a pillow to stifle himself. It was when Michael was draped over Cas’s back and grinding about to guide his cock in when the lights went on.

“Get off him!!” Sam screamed and lunged at Michael. His momentum had thrown all three off the couch and Cas was dazed when his forehead hit the coffee table. Sam took no notice as he started punching, kicking, gouging, scratching and all out brawling on top of the larger boy.

“Hey! Hey!” Dean was there in an instant and was pulling Sam off the naked boy. “Michael?!” he looked from Michael to Cas who was unfocused and had blood trickling down his forehead. “You son of a bitch!” he yelled and Sam had to pull Dean off Michael.

“Fucking hell, I just came over to bang the twink Dean!” Michael yelled and Cas, still on the floor, nodded. He yanked up his pants and stood and Dean stopped throwing punches but he looked murderous.

“You were raping! I saw, I’ve seen it on TV!” Sam yelled.

“No, it was consensual, I agreed.” Cas said and Sam calmed.

“You agreed?” He looked from Michael to Cas. “You can agree and still have it…like that?” Cas nodded. “Did I do that?” Sam pointed at the blood dripping in Cas’s eye and started digging into his arm with his blunt nails. “I did that,” he curled himself on the floor and started rocking. 

“See I was going for the set,” Michael smiled as he pulled his shirt and pants on. “I fucked you Dean, freshman year, I was going to go after the twink, and then come back for the retard.” It was Dean’s turn to hold Castiel back as the boy lunged for Michael.

“Get out of my house! I can’t believe I was going to sleep with you!” Cas yelled Michael just laughed and swayed out the door. Cas collapsed on the sofa as soon as Michael was gone, his face in his hands. He’d never felt so dirty in all his life before. He felt like a whore and slut and he could understand if Dean or Sam or their parents never looked at him in respect again. He was never going to respect himself again. He let the shame eat him away and he shut down completely.

He jumped when a blanket was thrown over his shoulders and Dean was sitting in front of him on the coffee table.

“Let me look at that,” he held up the first aid kit and Cas looked around for Sam. “I got him to his room. He’s watching his fish.” Cas nodded, if it took the fish that meant Sam wasn’t going to be speaking or out of his room for a day or so. “Now, come on,” Dean rattled the first aid kit. “Lemme look at you.” Cas wearily pushed his hair back and Dean started dabbing it with peroxide. He murmured when the boy hissed at the alcohol and then blew on it when the cut was clean. He took a washcloth and wiped all the blood that had been dripping down Cas’s face and into his hands.

“You want to tell me what this was about?” his voice was soft like the darkness.

“Not really.” Cas’s was hollow. He didn’t even wince when Dean taped gauze to his forehead.

“Oh, so Michael just happened to be in the neighborhood, and you just happened to be, what was it? Sick with the flu, and he…what? Came over to give you soup and sex?” Dean’s voice stayed quiet but it was getting in dangerous tones but Cas was too full of shame and self-loathing to care.

“Yup that’s pretty much it.”

“Damn it Castiel you’re worth more than _Michael_ , the guy’s a total douche and he’s never going to respect you.”

“So?”

“So?! Did he have a condom? Lube? Did he prep you or was he just going to thrust right in? Was he clean?” Cas wanted to shut out the questions, they only served to make him feel more ashamed.

“I don’t know.”

“You don’t know? Cas sex is fun, sure, but it’s only fun if you’re safe and you know what everyone is doing.”

“Well I didn’t know.”

“You should have,” Dean crossed his arms and glared at the boy.

“How? I only ask my best friend this stuff and for the past few weeks my best friend has shut me out completely.” Dean blanched slightly at the words but still held firm. “Besides, who cares? You didn’t want me so now I can’t want anyone else?” Cas was tired.

“No! You can want someone else I just want the best for you and Michael sure as hell isn’t it.” Cas gave a hollow laugh which lasted for a while.

“Already tried,” he said between giggles.

“What?”

“You said you wanted the best for me,” Cas sighed his laughter ended making him feel even emptier than before. “And I already tried for the best and was shot down.”

“Who?” Dean was curious, who was Castiel’s best? And who would be dumb enough to turn down Cas? The dude was beyond awesome and hot and funny and a great listener and an amazing friend and the list went on and on in Dean’s head.

“You, Dean. I asked you.” Cas looked hard in Dean’s eyes. He rose stiffly and stalked off. He was tired.

When Dean finally worked up the nerve to go to their room and go to bed Cas was already asleep, he couldn’t tell if he really was asleep the boy was curled and facing the wall, so Dean just fell back into bed.

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well the dissertation is done and I have to wait a week to turn it in but other than that I'm finished! I won't promise that 100% of my time will be for fic writing because I'm in hard core design mode right now and working on writing my own knitting book on top of trying now to get published in some scholarly journals. But never fear this is my stress relief and I always love to write! 
> 
> Thanks for all the love shown so far!

They all avoided one another on Saturday. Dean hid in the garage, Cas in his room and Sam in his. Around four in the afternoon Cas couldn’t stand it and he grabbed the first aid kit. His head was throbbing and he didn’t think Dean cleaned his cut right. No matter what the family said about Sam being a hovering doctor-in-training the kid was good and knew his stuff, and Cas wanted to be sure whatever Dean put on his head wasn’t making it infected. Though he thought the mark was appropriate for his shame. The mark of Cain as it was. Cas was a whore and he was being justly punished for it.

Still though it would be good if it weren’t infected.

“Sam?” he knocked three times on the door, “Sam may I come in?” he heard a muffled yes and smiled. It was a good sign if Sam was talking this soon.

Sam was laying on the floor looking at his ceiling. A small projector was running on his nightstand and tropical fish swam above their heads. Cas lay down on the floor next to his brother and didn’t say anything for a long time.

“I’m sorry,” Sam said after an hour of silence.

“For what,” Cas turned and his brother was looking at his eyes.

“For hurting you and that boy. I saw you and I thought he was raping you and so I hurt him like I saw on WWE.” Cas smiled.

“You protected me,” Sam considered it. “If you had come down and saw us watching a movie would you have hurt him?”

“No, I wouldn’t have spoken to him because I don’t know him.”

“So you only hurt him because you thought he was hurting me. You were protecting me.” Sam nodded.

“I am sorry I hurt you.”

“Yeah can you fix it, Dean put something on and it hurts like a bitch.” Sam sat up and tsked.

“You aren’t supposed to say bitch.”

“You just said it.”

“The doctors on _Grey’s Anatomy_ say it and I’m going to be a doctor. Lie back,” he got up and went to his dresser and pulled out a giant first aid kit and lay it on Cas’s stomach. He snapped on purple latex gloves and peeled back the gauze Dean taped on.

“Why is yours so much bigger?”

“It’s got more in it,” Sam was distracted by the open cut and the small fresh blood that came when he peeled the bandage away. Cas hissed at the cold air and pulling but Sam didn’t notice. “Mm, I’m going to have to add this to the weekly lecture,” Sam did a weekly first aid and medical talk to the family every week, most of the time it was interesting, but the boy had been banned from using visual aids ever since the disaster of the STD’s lecture last year. “Dean taped the bandage too tight the wound wasn’t able to breathe.”

“Is it infected?” Cas hissed again when he felt fingers pulling and pushing his flesh.

“No, just inflamed.” Sam rooted around in his kit and pulled out a tube of cream. “This will help, and then nothing touching it for twenty four hours.”

“What about my hair?”

“I think mom has bobby pins.” Cas groaned, well at least he wouldn’t have to show up to school Monday with his hair pinned back. Sam set to work and Cas could feel the tingling gel working and his pain lessening. Sam then got up and padded out of the room and came back with several pins. He gently pulled at brown hair until the work was adequate and the cut was to his satisfaction. After he was done he threw his gloves, returned his first aid kit and then lay on the floor next to his brother. “Castiel?” Sam asked softly.

“Yeah?”

“Did you like that boy…”

“Michael?”

“Yes.”

“Well,” Cas paused he was going to do his best to explain this but he was worried he was going to confuse Sam more. “Not really.”

“Do you have to like someone to agree to have sex?”

“Well, not always, but you do have to agree.”

“Why did you agree to sex when you didn’t like him?”

“I honestly don’t know.” Cas sighed and Sam gave him his time. “Well, I guess because I thought I really wanted to have sex. I thought it was going to make me happy.” Sam nodded. 

“Did it make you happy?”

“Well we didn’t have sex.” Sam ducked his head and Cas thought he was going to break down but the boy looked back up. “But, no, I don’t think it would have made me happy.”

Sam nodded, “I thought flies for Lucifer was going to make him happy but I was wrong. Why were you wrong?”

“Because I didn’t think,” Cas sighed and the stuff Sam rubbed in had his physical pain ebbing and his emotional was threatening to overhaul him. “I was so focused on having sex I wasn’t careful, I wasn’t safe, and I wasn’t with the right person.”

“So sex will make you happy if you’re with the right person.”

“Yes, that’s what I’ve heard.” Sam nodded once to show he understood.

“Castiel?”

“Yes?”

“What are you feeling now?”

“I guess…” Cas paused and watched the fish. “I feel shame.” Sam looked confused. “It’s like sad and angry but you’re sad and angry at yourself, you did something wrong and you blame yourself.” Sam nodded, less firm than before, his questions done they watched the fish for another hour.

“Sam?” Dean knocked on the half open door. “I brought you pizza, and a new season of _Grey’s Anatomy_ was just loaded onto Netflix, do you want to watch…” his voice died when he saw Cas lying next to Sam.

“Dean,” Sam sat and then stood up and took the plate from his brother’s hands. “Castiel made me feel better, he is feeling ashamed and you should help him. We looked at fish so I helped and now it is your turn.” With that he walked away and they heard him clamber down the stairs. Dean had a moment of indecision but then Cas patted his hand on the floor next to him.

“I’m sorry,” Dean said once he was settled and they watched a clown fish swim across the ceiling fan.

“People keep saying that to me today,” Cas mused as he watched a bright yellow fish. He turned and caught Dean’s eye. “You don’t have to be sorry, you were watching out for me, being the big brother.”

“Yeah, um…” but Cas had broken the spell and turned back to the fish. “Cas I shouldn’t have attacked you like that.” Dean grabbed his best friend’s hand. “It wasn’t my place and I have no right to judge you.” Cas nodded slightly still keeping his eye on that yellow fish. “And I’m sorry, you know, for brushing off your feelings when you asked.” That got blue eyes to move away from yellow to green.

“My feelings…”

“Your feelings about sex, I guess I still see you as that tiny kid who spent the first night in our room with a book and was still clutching it in his sleep in the morning. I never expected you’d be ready for sex.”

“You sound like dad,” Dean groaned.

“Shut up, all I’m saying is that I wasn’t expecting you to want to have sex because I still see you as…”

“As a little kid.” Cas finished with the ghost of a smile. “So after my astoundingly awesome display last night has that image changed?” Dean willed himself not to blush. He hadn’t seen anything but Cas’s ass last night and…wow…there went all the words in his brain.

“Well, um, yeah I mean I guess you’re ready, but you have to know how to be safe.” Cas nodded and Dean could tell the light behind his eyes meant they were about to play 1,001 questions. “But above all,” Dean wanted to get the first word in, “You have to be with a guy who you like and who respects you.” Cas nodded. “And I’m hungry so no questions now, I’ll answer them all later, I promise.” Cas nodded again.

“Dean? Can I ask one question?”

“Yeah,” Cas worried the hem of his beat up sweater.

“Did your…do you…am I different in your eyes?” Dean tilted his head. “Do you see me as dirty?”

“Hey, let’s get one thing straight.” Dean squeezed the hand that was still in his. “I’m never going to see you as dirty, I may not like your choice in partners, but I’m never going to stop seeing the awesome person that is you, besides…” his mind was screaming at him to just say it, “Being dirty wasn’t what I thought last night.” Now it was his turn to worry his shirt.

“What was…”

“That I was sad it wasn’t me.” Dean said quickly. “I was sad and angry at myself that it wasn’t me, that I wasn’t the one taking care of you, that I was the one who forced you to go to Michael.” Dean had been working this emotion all day and it took taking apart the entire engine of his dad’s pickup to understand the confusing feelings.

“Dean,” Cas said softly and he turned and captured Dean’s lips. The kiss was incredibly soft and took them both by surprise as the slightly dry skin of Cas’s lips met Dean’s.

The kiss was softer than either had ever thought possible. Well, Dean at least, Cas still had never been kissed. Well, before now that is.

Cas raised his hand and reveled in how incredibly wonderful Dean’s cheek felt under his fingers. Sure he’d felt Dean’s skin before, to brush stray food or push whipped cream in his face, but now it felt so much more intimate and the boy made a noise in the back of his throat when he realized this was real. This wasn’t a dream he was going to fall out of. Dean was kissing him and his hand was on Cas’s stomach and he was moving over to lay on Cas’s chest and his legs were twining with Cas’s and holy fuck this was real. Dean was opening his mouth gently and dean was slowly easing his tongue in. They were moving at Cas’s pace and Cas reveled in feeling amazing and wonderful and Dean was pulling away…

“Cas, you ok?”

“More than, why? Am I kissing wrong?! You’re thinking I’m a nothing virgin, I’m so sorry!”

“No Cas,” Dean soothed and rubbed the younger boy’s arms. “I just wanted to know that I wasn’t moving too fast, you kind of froze there.” Cas blushed crimson.

“Oh I was…” Cas refused to look up, “Wasn’t sure it was real,” Cas muttered and Dean kissed his forehead. Then a kiss was placed on his brow, another was laid on his eye lid, and another to its twin. Then the lips trailed down to red cheeks and Cas slipped his arms up Dean’s back.

“You still wondering if this is real?” He huffed a small laugh when Cas shook his head violently. “Hey don’t look so terrified,” when Cas looked at him in horror as he rolled away. Dean stood and pulled the boy up with him, “I just had a thought if you’re up for it, and I don’t really want to do it in Sammy’s room.” Cas was speechless as Dean slotted their hands together and pulled them through the bathroom and into their room. He shut both doors and locked them and then they stood in the middle of the room. “My bed or yours?” Cas’s eyes went wide. “Hey,” Dean held the younger boy’s hips gently. “Didn’t I just say you don’t have to be terrified? We’re not gonna have sex,” Dean read the brunet perfectly and with the shame of last night still fresh the idea of sex wasn’t on the table yet. “This is all for you,” Dean whispered. “I’m going to be fine with whatever.”

“M-mine,” Cas stammered.

“Ok,” Dean smiled and gently led them. They were sitting side by side and Dean cupped Cas’s face and turned the boy’s head to him. He eased into the kiss and Cas sighed against his lips. He scrambled his arms around the older boy’s neck so Dean got the answer if Cas was comfortable or not. He lay a firm hand on Cas’s side and pushed them so they could lay on the bed. He crawled along Cas’s body never breaking their kiss for an instant.

They lay heavily on the bed doing nothing more than making Cas loose his mind. Dean consumed him totally and Cas couldn’t even remember on his own name after a while and Dean was reveling in the way the boy writhed and clung to him like a life raft. Dean was getting high in so many ways, he was taking care of Cas, he was making this memory good for Cas. He was far better than _Michael_ anyway.

And Cas was doing things for him too. Cas had made kissing into…well Dean didn’t know but it was so good that he was content to only kiss forever. And kissing for Dean Winchester was like lettuce on a cheeseburger, a means to an end but really just unnecessary. But with Cas…holy shit and son of a bitch too he was fine with just the press of Cas’s lips on his for….well for forever.

But now wasn’t the time for the future, now was the time to slide his flat, heavy hand down Cas’s stomach and play with his belt.

“Ok?” he whispered, his voice raw and purely effected by Cas. The boy could only nod and Dean smiled. “Awesome.”

He moved his hand as slowly as he could but holy hell it was difficult. He wanted so bad and this was the time when clothes were flying and he would already be deep inside his partner. But Cas had made him want to go slow, he wanted to be so good for Cas and that was new territory for Dean.

When the distracting palm finally got his belt and jeans open Cas wanted to scream. Dean was tuning him all kind of crazy and Cas didn’t know how much more he could handle. The hand on him was easy, gentle, slow, and willing to go at Cas’s pace and the boy was far from ready for that. He thought sex was ripped clothes and bang bang thank you and goodnight. Not slow, and tender as if they had the rest of their lives to do this.

He moaned out when Dean finally pried his pants open and slipped fingers in his boxers.

“Son of a bitch,” he murmured and Dean smirked.

“Good?” he was overly innocent as he mouthed at Cas’s neck.

“Go to hell,” Cas had to smile at the deep chuckle vibrating his stomach.

Dean had done this a lot. Like a lot. He was totally bi and he’d had his fair share of the ladies and gents. More recently it had been on the male side of partners and Dean was very good at getting…ah…a _feel_ for his partner. By touch alone he could tell a beautiful cock from one that was nice, to one that was meh, and he wasn’t going to bring up the time he’d stuck his hand down a dude’s pants and they guy had his dick pierced… So Dean was, mostly, prepared for a nice lean cock, on the average size, like Cas’s body.

Well he sure as fuck was wrong.

Cas was _hung_.

Like hung in the way Dean started salivating. Like hung in the way that made Dean’s dick jump like a puppy. Like hung in the way that Dean was starting to allow the smallest spark of an idea to form that he wasn’t going to be happy with another man. That maybe he wouldn’t want another man.

“Dude…”

“What’s wrong? Did I do something…is it not…” Cas’s voice died on Dean’s lips.

“Stop thinking you’re a nothing virgin. You’re perfect. Now shut up and let me spend time on the part of you I have a feeling I will become _very_ addicted to.” Cas shivered. He whined when Dean pulled his hand back and the older boy smiled. He rose from the bed and threw a pillow down on the floor and knelt on it. This way he was able to kiss and get a proper grasp on Cas.

This time he could move slower because his new position made it _incredibly_ easy to watch the boy twitch, tremble, and fall apart. So he leisurely eased his hand all over inside Cas’s pants and briefs and the boy writhed and bit back moans. He was leaking precum like mad and Dean licked his lips wondering what the fluid would taste like. He was going to go at Cas’s pace, but _damn_ …

“Cas?” it took about seven moments for the brunet to wake up and when he did he didn’t look at Dean in fear, he wasn’t self-conscious, he just looked wanting. “Can I…I want you in my mouth.” Dean mouthed at Cas’s surprised jaw and he grinned when he felt the boy nod tentatively. “Awesome.”

Dean didn’t pull his hand out of the inferno behind Cas’s pants but rather pulled everything down one handed. When Cas was free enough Dean could only stare.

“I can’t believe you’ve been hiding this from me for as long as we’ve been living together.” Cas turned red which Dean didn’t see as his eyes were glued to the world’s most amazing cock.

“You didn’t want sex before,” he mumbled.

“Hey it doesn’t have to be about sex, damn if I looked like that I would be bragging to everyone and wear a tee-shirt that said ‘I have a fucking fantastic cock’, damn.” Dean leaned down and kissed the perfectly curving tip. “Don’t ever change,” he murmured and Cas sighed. He wanted to watch whatever Dean was going to do, probably move slow like everything else, which was why it was an extreme shock when Dean just leaned down and swallowed him to his base. He curled up and held on to spiky hair as the sensations overwhelmed him. Never had he felt soo good. never.

Then Dean started to move.

He went up and down slowly, adding a nod or five every few pulls, and Cas’s body had no idea what to do. He twitched, tugged at Dean’s head, bit his lip to keep from crying out, and tried his very hardest not to come. He had no idea if Dean was going to want to do this again, probably not seeing as how he’d refused for months and wouldn’t even talk about sex with Cas. So the boy tried desperately to stave off his orgasm, which was getting pretty damn difficult when Dean started to hollow his cheeks and suck.

“Oh fuck, Dean,” Cas whispered as he petted sandy hair. Dean nodded and snuck his fingers down to press between his balls and travel back to his hole.

The orgasm hit Cas so hard he sat up. He blacked out and when he came to he was sitting up and Dean was resting his head on his thigh. He was grinning goofily up at Cas and without thinking the brunet grabbed a black shirt roughly and pulled Dean in for a hard kiss. he yanked at the older boy until they were laying on the bed and tangled heavily on each other. Cas clawed desperately at Dean’s back and gone was the slow therapeutic ministrations. Cas had orgasmed and he wanted _more_. More of Dean, more of the taste of his cum in the panting mouth his tongue was exploring, more of the hot skin under his nails, more jumping muscles, more of Dean’s heavy body on him, more of the small noises Dean was making. Just _more_.

It was just when he’d snaked his hand up Dean’s back to his shoulder to grab at the muscle and another hand was gorging itself on a firm ass that Dean broke from the frantic kiss. Both their lips were shiny and red and Cas looked in question. But no thoughts had a chance to form as Dean shuddered violently and they felt a searing, wet patch grow between them.

“Did you just…”

“Yeah,” Dean’s nod and voice were harsh as he collapsed on the younger boy.

“But we weren’t…we weren’t even grinding! I wasn’t even touching you! Did you come just from kissing?!” he couldn’t form words when he felt a nod in his neck. “Have you ever…before just from kissing?” and his eyes were the size of plates when he felt the face shake no. “Holy damn,” he huffed and Dean nodded and trailed his fingers up and down his sides.

“Dean?” Cas whispered, he hated that he had to break the spell between them. This probably was going to be the only time they did this and he should be basking in the glow of it all but he couldn’t help it, he _wanted_ so bad.

“Yeah?” Dean shifted so he could lay his head on Cas’s chest and be able to look up at him.

“Would you…could we…I mean if you want to…can we…”

“Your point is over there Cas,” Dean smiled at the boy’s blush.

“Can we kiss again?” He said in a rush with his eyes tight shut. He wasn’t even going to begin to _hope_ for anything more intimate, but Dean wouldn’t mind practicing his kissing on Cas right?

“Dude,” Dean leaned up and kissed Cas softly. “I just orgasmed from you kissing me, and you think we’re not gonna do it again?” he kissed softly again, “Dude,” he sounded sad.

“Fine!” Cas set his lips and looked a little playful. “What about the rest of it? I mean I guess if I’m _so_ good,” he feather touched with his fingertips all over Dean’s back and arms, “That I can get you to orgasm after a kiss, what will happen to you if I start trying and learn more?” Dean groaned and rubbed his face in Cas’s clavicle.

“Dude, that’s when you kill me.” Cas laughed softly and rubbed Dean’s hair. He whined when the older boy started moving and pulling away. “I can’t stay in these crusty boxers, and you know he’s already finished one pizza down there and will be hunting for the other one.” Cas rolled his eyes. Sam could go through three pizzas by himself and the family had learned long ago to ration him and hide a pizza for themselves. “I hid it in the trunk of my car.” Dean stood and leaned down to kiss Cas again. Then again. Then another time just in case. Cas tugged at his wrist and he was down again for another kiss.

“Go,” Cas chuckled to Dean’s lips.

“I can’t,” Dean whined back, kissing again. And then again just in case Cas forgot what it felt like to be kissed.

“Well I’m not going to let you go so you’re going to have to pull yourself away.” Dean groaned and by sheer force of will walked into the bathroom.

Cas shucked his jeans and went for sweatpants and walked downstairs. He tried to keep the smile off his face but it was hard.

“Castiel,” Sam didn’t look away from whatever medicine someone was discovering in a closet while having sex. “I put the pizza Dean was hiding in the garage in the oven.”

“Thanks,” Cas walked away and found half a pizza in a warm oven. _Well at least he didn’t eat it all_ , but even that rueful thought couldn’t dampen Cas’s mood. He was practically floating.

“Did Dean cure your shame?” Sam was still glued to the screen. Now another couple were having sex in a bed at least.

“Yes,” Cas ate his pizza and made a grab for the remote which was swung out of the way. Dean had snuck up behind the couch and when Sam raised his already too tall arm out of Cas’s way the older brother was able to snatch it out of the palm.

“Hm, let’s see what can we watch? Ooooh _Rambo_!” Dean cackled and started to flip the show.

“Dean at least my show is realistic,” Sam started and was laughed down by his brothers. Dean faked groaned and clutched his chest but turned it back to the medical show. Cas sighed when Dean plopped down next to him and his side was neatly tucked into Cas’s. His noise changed when the older boy started eating his pizza.

“Hey! Get your own!” Dean looked him dead in the eye with a flame dancing behind green and quirked his eyebrows. He took a huge bite of Cas’s pizza and then got up to get his own.

They watched the tv show for hours, after the pizza was gone Dean brought out ice cream and candy. After Sam was lulled into a sugar coma the older boy wrapped his arm around Cas’s shoulders and the younger boy leaned into him.

“Ok Sammy, time for bed.” Dean barked. “You too Cas.”

“Dean I am not a small child I can go to bed when I want to.” Sam stated primly even though he had just yawned.

“Ok, that’s fair,” Dean tilted his head. “But you get grumpy when you don’t get your eight hours mister and I don’t want you grumpy tomorrow when you have your no schedule schedule.” Sam considered this and then rose. When they heard his door close upstairs both boys let out a puff of air.

“I have been wanting to do this all damn night,” Dean leaned over and pulled Cas’s tongue into his mouth.

“Mm,” Cas pushed gently at his best friend’s chest. “Dean,” the older boy pulled away slightly. “Dean, I want to have sex.” To his credit he didn’t looked shocked, his eyes did jump a bit but he slowly nodded. He rubbed a slightly anxious hand on Cas’s side and looked around.

“Do you wanna…where, um…our…” his voice died.

“Ours is really near Sam…” Cas was nervous to bring it up, if Michael had refused Dean absolutely would too. Dean was so much better than Michael and if the garage wasn’t good enough for the douche it certainly wasn’t good enough for Dean.

“We could…in the garage,” Dean looked hesitant and Cas nodded.

“I was thinking that but Michael said no, so I thought it wouldn’t…”

“Hey don’t compare anything that ass thinks.”

“No…I mean I thought it wouldn’t be good enough for you.” Cas looked shyly up and he saw Dean flustered. Well, that was a first.

“Hey, you gotta stop seeing me as this awesome person, Cas. I mean, dude,” Dean looked Cas up and down. “You’re the awesome one.” Before Cas could speak Dean pulled them up. “Go to the garage, I gotta get some stuff.” Cas wanted to ask what kind of stuff Dean needed but the boy was already gone. So he busied himself with cleaning up the living room and kitchen. He locked doors and turned off lights and turned when he heard Dean pad up behind him.

“Scared?” The older boy looked genuine, Cas could say yes and there would be no hard feelings.

“No, more good nervous. Like when you got me to go on that ride last year at Wisconsin Dells.” Dean smiled and took Cas’s hand. He didn’t turn on any of the lights, the garage was Dean’s second bedroom and he knew every object by heart. He snapped on a faint desk lamp at the door and then pulled Cas around the cars until they were at the couch. Dean sat and then patted his legs. Cas very slowly and tentatively lowered himself down so he was straddling Dean’s lap and the older boy filled his hands with hips and back.

“It’s easier if you’re on top first,” he brushed a strand of Cas’s hair back, “You can control how much to take and how fast you want to go.”

“But it has to be good for you,” Cas insisted and set his lips firm. “I’m not going to get off knowing it’s not good for you.”

“Cas,” but Dean could tell there was no changing the brunet’s mind. “Ok, I promise I’ll let you know if it’s not good for me. Hey,” he pulled at Cas’s hands which were scrambling to pull Dean’s sweatpants down. “Slow down, let’s just get comfortable.”

“Are you serious?” Cas’s voice was dry.

“Well, let me put it like this, it is going to be nice if we just strip and fuck like how you want to do, but if you want it to be fucking earth shattering then we’ll do it my way.” Cas bit his lip and then nodded.

“Yours,” Dean beamed and kissed him lazily.

“Good,” they shared fifteen or so kisses just slowly pressing lips and rubbing hands over new and unfamiliar bodies.

Dean cradled Cas in his arms and rubbed between shoulders and up and down a spine until Cas was putty in his arms. Gently he pulled his grey shirt off and Cas followed suit with his. Cas was still skinny and scrawny, he was fifteen, and he felt self-conscious as he looked at the broad and thick muscles of Dean’s chest. He reached out and touched a pec muscle and sighed when Dean had no problem with him. He ran his hands all over Dean’s exposed chest, feeling himself getting harder and harder at every centimeter more of touch.

“Well, I don’t think I have to wonder if I’m gay or not.” He whispered and before Dean could laugh he lowered his face and kissed a nipple.

“Fuck, Cas,” Dean arched and Cas just went with it. He sucked and rolled the bud in his mouth and felt a hand scrambling for purchase at the back of his head. “Hey,” Dean said desperately after a good long while, “Hey, you keep doing that and we’re gonna have a repeat of before.”

Cas popped off and admired the husky brown surrounded by purple red skin.

“Did I…” Dean looked down and smiled proudly.

“I think you just made your first hickey, dude,” Cas blushed furiously and leaned down for a harder kiss. Their breathing got heavier and their touches more insistent as two cocks found one another and slotted together. Cas rolled away from the kiss groaning loudly as his hips moved on their own seeking the warm friction of Dean’s groin.

“Holy fuck,” he dragged out and Dean could only nod.

“Dude, how are you so fucking good at this?” Dean groaned and against his will grabbed tight to Cas’s ass and hips just for something to hold on to.

“At what?” Cas groaned as he licked a long stripe up Dean’s neck.

“That!” Dean rubbed naked skin a bit harder. “I would never believe you’re a virgin,” he stifled a cry when the boy on his lap nibbled his ear.

“Well, that’s what we’re changing…” Cas pulled back and shot a challenging look at Dean. “That is what we’re doing, right?”

“Oh hell yes,” Dean breathed and pushed chocolate hair so he could have cherry lips in his mouth. He licked along the seam of Cas’s closed lips and they parted like the Red Sea. Cas moaned into his mouth and went crazy. His tongue was wild, his hands were close to leaving red scratches, and he was humping like a dog in heat on Dean’s lap.

“Oh fuck, Dean,” Cas keened and the older boy woke enough to know they weren’t here to end it all like this. He used every ounce of strength and will power to stop Cas’s hips, which he almost let go of at the loud whine, and pushed Cas back so he was standing. Wordlessly, he snapped the drawstring and with both palms flat on Cas’s skin he followed the line from sides to hips to thighs to calves dragging fabric along the way.

“That was smooth,” Cas teased but he didn’t put too much into it, the heat was addling his brain.

“Was it?” Dean rested back on the couch and just lifted his hips and ass and slid his pants off. “Was it smooth?” Cas didn’t answer as he was enraptured by the cock standing hard and waiting between bowlegs.

“I do believe we’re going to share,” he said and Dean looked confused. “We’re going to share that ‘I have a gorgeous cock’ tee-shirt.” Dean laughed and blushed. All his previous partners were just get it in me and make me come. Cas was going to be different. He could tell.

He sat forward and tugged at Cas’s hips, the boy moved readily into him and straddled Dean again. They both moaned when their shafts rubbed together but Dean had had enough of a break from his lust to know what to do.

“Hey,” he said quickly but gently as Cas grasped him and started to set himself up. “Hey I’m gonna take care of you but you gotta let me do it. I know what I’m doing,” Cas nodded and held on to Dean’s shoulders.

The older boy found the lube he’d brought down and slowly started warming it up on his fingers. He moved his hands down the back of the lower end of Cas’s spine and ended at his virgin hole. _Keep it together, man_ Dean firmly told his dick which was twitching like a sugar high puppy at the thought that it would be the first to claim Cas’s ass. The boy shuddered and went boneless, his head hitting Dean’s shoulder where he stayed the entire time.

Dean nearly went boneless himself when just the tip of his finger breached Cas and he reveled in the silky smooth skin. He forced himself to not just stop and orgasm there. so he kept his fingers steady.

When Cas was ready Dean was proud he was able to avoid the boy’s prostate. He wanted his cock to be the first to brush that holy spot and he knew Cas had no idea why his prostate would end up being his second favorite organ.

“Cas are you ready?” His whisper cut through the garage. The brunet pulled back, nodded meeting Dean’s eyes and the older boy was in awe. This was no fifteen year old kid, or six year old holding a Nancy Drew book. This was…well, this was Cas and Cas was ready for sex. “Ok, I’m gonna hold myself steady and you go at your pace.” When they’d entered the garage Dean wasn’t sure he was going to even have sex with Cas. The dude was an infant for crying out loud. But after seeing Cas’s normal sky blue eyes as dark as midnight and the sheer power running out of his skin through his sweat, Dean couldn’t wait to have sex.

He covered his cock in tons of lube and lined himself up, holding his cock with one hand and Cas’s hip with the other. He nodded as the boy slowly breached himself and licked his lips as he saw the beautiful line of Cas’s tan neck as his head was thrown back.

“Oh fuck, I didn’t…” Cas moaned as he sank further down, “I didn’t know it was going to be this _good_.” he groaned and in an impatient motion sank all the way down until he was fully seated. “Fuck,” he breathed and pushed his forehead into Dean’s. The older boy massaged his back and nodded.

“You move when you’re ready,” he commanded softly and reminded his dick, _again_ , that if it didn’t come now it would get a treat later. Cas tilted his head and kissed Dean like a simmering fire. The passion and heat were all there and their pace wasn’t fast, but it wasn’t slow either.

“Thank you.” Cas whispered and then tentatively rolled his hips. Both kissed hard trying desperately to stifle the groan so they wouldn’t wake their parents who were a state away.

Cas decided he liked rolling his hips very much so he continued and kissed as hard as he could. Dean’s wide hands found his ass and just massaged the muscle as Cas circled his hips. Granted, he was still dreadfully clumsy but both of their skin tingled as they felt the potential itching just under the surface. They were going to blow sex out of the water once they got used to one another’s bodies. But for now they just sank into the sway of Cas’s hips and Dean’s hands rubbing circles up and down his partner’s back.

“Oh shit, Cas I’m close,” Dean whispered and then his eyes went wide with fear. “Shit, fuck Cas I forgot the condom.” The boy stopped moving and stared.

“Will that be a problem?”

“Well, I mean you should always use one in case your partner might not be clean or if you don’t like stuff…up there…”

“Are you clean?”

“Yeah this is the first time I haven’t used a condom.”

“Then I don’t care.” Cas mouthed at Dean’s neck and moved his hips faster. “I don’t care.” He murmured over and over as Dean groaned and he moved. He didn’t bother to care that this was just using Dean as a joystick and sex usually had more thrusting and in and out. He didn’t bother to care that he was in the process of losing his virginity and he had promised himself to cement this moment to memory.

What he did bother to care about was how fucking _good_ it felt.

It felt soo good to have Dean hot inside him. To have something so warm and solid stretching him open and filling him in ways he’d only dreamed about. He’d always thought sex was going to be uncomfortable at first and only after a very long time (maybe years) would it start to feel good. but as he squeezed his knees around Dean’s thighs and arched back knowing Dean would lend his strength and he wouldn’t fall, he was lost in how amazing it all felt. Dean was perfect and sex was perfect and he was totally addicted.

“Oh fuck,” Dean felt the wave crashing but not before Cas. He’d never been with a virgin before so that was what made this whole experience so much better. Cas was so velvety _tight_ around him that his dick was having a very hard time not exploding right then and there. His mind screamed at him to thrust up and slam as hard as he could into Cas’s prostate and make the boy feel the greatest of highs he’d ever dreamed of.

So he pressed his thumb hard in the leaking slit between them and thrust up and slammed as hard as he could into Cas’s prostate and made the boy feel the greatest of highs he’d ever dreamed of.

“OH FUCK!” Cas yelled as hot stripes covered Dean’s hand and he felt his own orgasm burst. Cas twitched in a second orgasm when he felt the searing cum filling him and Dean frantically thrusting to continue his high. They clung to sweaty skin and panted as they slowly came down to earth.

“Holy shit,” Cas murmured as he lay boneless on Dean’s chest.

“Yeah,” Dean was equally limp with his arms wrapped lazily around his best friend.

"We should move," Cas whispered as he ran his fingers through the lines the sweat left on Dean's chest.

"Why?"

"Because I'm about to fall asleep and I don't want Sam walking in and finding us, ass naked, here." Cas yawned and with a grunt eased his legs up so he could pull off Dean and stand. They wobbled a bit as they redressed and Cas couldn't stop smiling no matter what they were doing.

"What is so funny?" Dean hit his new lover in the side as they made their way back to their room in the dark house.

"Nothing really, just that everything reminds me of sex," they both giggled softly.

"Even that?" Dean pointed to a banana in the fruit bowl and they laughed even harder.

They quieted when they got to their room and they undressed in the dark, not worrying about hiding nakedness from the other. Cas had always been body conscious but now that Dean had made him feel...well he didn't know the correct word but as he felt Dean's cum leak a bit from his ass he knew it was a very good word he was trying to think of.

They went to their separate beds not really sure what they were to do now that the orgasm had dropped and they were aware of their lives. They were brothers. Not in feeling but lawfully brothers. And while John was grudgingly accepting of Dean's bisexuality, Cas doubted very much his homosexuality would be welcomed with open arms. Then there was the other, darker, deeper desires now starting to stir up in his belly that Cas couldn't ignore. He had promised himself that he would put those thoughts off until he got laid, and...well he just got laid.

"Dean?"

"Yeah?"

A thousand thoughts and sentences formed on Cas's lips but all he could manage was: "Thank you."

"My pleasure," Dean sighed deeply his breath already forming the snores that Cas couldn't sleep without.

 


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok so I'm sorry that this is a shorter chapter, but guess who graduated, awesome nerds?!!! When I started my graduate degree I also started on here and I can't even imagine how I would have gotten through my school work with out this awesome outlet and all you amazing people. So while this is a short chapter I should be updating more frequently because I am not constantly researching and writing papers. Of course I say that and I have the Ravelympics and GISHWHES coming up but I will be by my computer!

It was Dean's pleasure a whole lot more over the coming weeks. Knowing Sammy's no schedule schedule the boys knew he would be at the library for two hours memorizing medical textbooks so they agreed it was time to pop Cas's cherry on a bed.

And Cas couldn't decide if he liked it when he rode Dean while the older boy was on his back, or when Dean flipped them over with a roar and thrust in as hard and as fast as he could.

Or when he swallowed Dean down and got to taste cum for the first time. That was good.

They barely were able to separate and get Cas in the shower and Dean under a car when Sam came home and shortly thereafter their parents.

Dinner lasted eight and a half million years and then John took Dean out to the RV to check up on the motor and other mechanics on it getting it ready for their family vacation in two months when Dean graduated.

Naomi set Cas and Sam to their homework, which was already done, and Cas couldn't deny that every time he heard feet on the stairs his heart beat faster and his stomach rolled in his abdomen. He craved sex, and Dean, and they'd only refrained from doing it for five hours.

"Hey, doodling?" Cas jumped, he was lost in his thoughts again about sweaty skin and salty cum. He looked down, he had been idly sketching out yet another house plan.

"Mmm, daydreaming," he smiled benignly and yearned to pull Dean down in a sweaty kiss.

"Bet I know what about," Dean winked and moved to rummage in the closet, "I'm going to shower, you keep on...ah...doodling." He winked again and went into their shared bathroom.

After all night chores were done they all called their good nights before Dean declared he had to go to the bathroom again. He came back with a damp cloth and grinned at Cas before closing both doors and pouncing on him.

"You are so fucking addicting," he ate up the moan from his best friend and Cas tossed the book he was reading onto the floor. He wrapped his arms and legs around Dean and the boy broke the frantic kiss only to switch the light off. They wrestled in mouths for a long time their bodies undulating and flowing together like the tide. They were constantly moving, hands, hips, legs, teeth, tongues, and cocks.

"Why do you have so many clothes on?" Cas grumbled and started tugging at whatever he could reach.

"You're gonna need to keep quiet," Dean whispered and Cas smirked in the moonlight.

"Me? I thought the neighbors would call in a noise complaint on you when I did that thing with my tongue." Dean shuddered and Cas knew they weren't going to get naked by just talking.

"This time I'm picking the position," they were gloriously naked and Cas bit his lips bloody not moaning when Dean pushed their bodies around.

He did have to bury his face in a pillow when he found himself on his hands and knees and Dean enveloping his body around him.

This was what he'd seen in porn movies, and somehow Dean knew he had always wanted to try out this position.

And when he was prepped and Dean nudging himself at Cas's entrance the boy understood why. Every movement of Dean's body Cas could feel. He could feel tense thighs at the back of his legs, he could feel Dean's every shallow pant in the small of his back, he could feel Dean's heartbeat pressed into his spine, and he could feel Dean's mouth kissing and licking all over the back of his shoulders.

And when Dean finally pressed fully in...well Cas was happy for the pillow.

They both pressed their faces in it and moaned loudly, in this new position Dean could hit Cas so deep and Cas widened his legs a bit more to take Dean as far in as he could. After three thrusts they had to move to the floor, the bed was too squeaky and they took the pillow with.

Once comfortable on the floor Dean went to town and Cas thought he'd never felt more bliss. The feelings were incredible and Cas thought that every thrust was going to be the one to throw him over the edge and into oblivion. His blood pulsed with orgasm, his mind was cloudy with lust, and Dean was right there with him softly grunting in his ear. Dean reached down and found Cas's hands gripping the pillow and they laced together at the same moment that Cas wrapped his calves around Dean's pistoning thighs to better connect them and open his legs wider.

Dean shuddered in Cas's ear and Cas nodded ruefully. They were going to orgasm hard in this position, and it was coming soon.

"Dean, kiss me," Cas panted and turned his head so that the older boy could wrap his lips around Cas's tongue. They panted in one another's mouth and groaned softly when they felt Dean shudder and twitch inside Cas.

As an experiment, purely for science, Cas tensed his ass around Dean's cock and the effect was electric. Not only did it make him come harder, Dean's entire body shivered as he emptied himself in Cas.

"Well I'm doing that again," Cas whispered when they fell as quietly as they could on the floor.

"What the position, me, or squeezing your ass?"

"Mmm, all three," Cas rolled so he could lay on his stomach on Dean's chest. "I adore the position, you will never stop being incredible, and I'll need more practice squeezing my ass around you to really understand just how amazing that was."

"Well I'm always ready to help you in whatever you need." Dean ran his hand though Cas's sweaty hair.

"In that case I'm going to need a lot of sex." Dean chuckled softly.

"Your wish is my command."

***

So Cas and Dean became very good at sneaking around. Dean had always thought he had had a healthy appetite for sex, but Cas was voracious. He was never satisfied and he was always craving more. Perhaps it was because they were never able to just be all over themselves and they had to plan secret trysts and it made everything hotter, but damn sex with Cas was hot.

Like Dean had had bathroom sex before, and he wasn't going to lie, fucking next to a shitter or urinal was a mood dampener. Like he would still do it but he never got away from that idea that someone might be taking a dump right next to them.

But he was magically able to forget all that when Cas widened his legs and grabbed the top of the stall and cried with every hard thrust Dean made.

Dean also wasn't a huge fan of shower sex, but yeah that changed when Cas was in the team showers and he begged Dean to push him against the wall harder and fuck him deeper.

And yeah sex in Dean’s pickup was always hot but there was something about Cas taking the lead and riding Dean hard into the leather that made it so fucking good.

They were always sneaking around but it was fun and Dean was totally addicted to Cas. Like he forgot every other willing person who were all so eager to fuck him in lieu of watching the dude study in the library, because after study hall meant Dean was rewarded with a blow job or a quick handsy in the janitor's closet.

And even when he had been sleeping around Dean had never felt so horny in his life. Their days usually started with a quickie to get rid of morning wood with Cas typically on his hands and knees because that's what got them off the quickest.

They went off to school with Cas's hand in Dean's in the car after they dropped Sam off and before they got to the school parking lot (seventeen blocks but not that they were counting). They moved away and didn't see one another until lunch which was usually spent in an abandoned stairwell or the back of the car with several inappropriate activities being throughly enjoyed.

Dean used his free period to study with Cas in the library during his study hall and Cas used the fifteen minutes between when he needed to show up for track practice and the last bell to blow Dean in the exact way Dean loved.

Dean suffered through track practice reminding Cas via text message that they could be naked _and_ exercising _thoroughly_ right now. Cas would never respond but Dean knew his best friend loved the dirty sexts even if they had to delete them before anyone saw.

Dean picked up Sam after the boy was done with debate and then they went home, Cas's track practice lasting an hour longer at the school. Cas would walk home by himself, replying to every filthy word of Dean's with an impressive creative imagination of his own, and they would all sit down to dinner with no one knowing anything.

After dinner was watching television, homework, or board games with Sam.

After that, well...

Dean had introduced Cas to rough, hard, get me off now before someone walks in sex, but he also introduced Cas to sex so slow that it seemed they forgot what it was like not to be tied together so intimately. They would lay wide open in the other complete trust between the two for close to an hour before either thought about orgasm.

And then they would go to sleep in their respective beds only to repeat it the next day.

***

"Dean?" Cas rolled on the bed in the dark and prayed that the five times they had sex today didn't make his best friend too tired to talk.

"Yeah?"

"I can't sleep..." Usually that was enough to clue Dean into knowing that Cas wanted to talk but Dean was far to tired to remember. Cas squeaked when Dean came up behind him and pushed his arm under Cas's head and his other came to rest heavily on Cas's stomach.

"You want me to do you again?" Dean's voice was heavy and Cas sighed.

"No, I...um..."

"Talk to me," Dean pressed his lips in Cas's neck and kissed him gently.

"Is it ok...to...um...like," Cas took a calming breath, Dean knew him more intimately than anyone on the earth. "Is it ok to like...things that aren't meant for you?"

"Do you mean us?" Dean's arms wrapped tighter. "You want to stop?"

"No!" Dean swooped and silenced him with a kiss. "No," Cas said softer. "I really like what this is, no, I was talking about...something else."

"Ok...so you're asking if it's ok to like something that you shouldn't?" Cas nodded. "Well is it going to hurt anyone?"

"It might..." Cas rubbed the arm around his stomach. "Like not intentionally but maybe...it would be a shock."

"Ok, will it hurt you?"

"No, it would be...freeing," he whispered the first word that came to mind. "I would feel like myself," he breathed and he sighed when Dean nodded.

"Then it's ok, as long as it doesn't intentionally hurt people then it's ok to like something not meant for you."

"Even if it goes against nature?" Cas trembled in the warmth of Dean's arms.

"If it's as freeing as you say, and if it is gonna make you feel comfortable in your skin then it's completely natural in my book." Cas turned his head and captured his lover in a soft kiss.

"Thank you," he breathed and Dean nodded.

"You're welcome, will you tell me what it is you want?" Cas shook his head.

"One day, but I'm still too scared to want it, when I'm more comfortable I'll show you."

"Ok."

Time flew after that. Dean graduated and the family took the RV to the Grand Canyon to celebrate. Dean and Cas would have been happier to celebrate in a bed with no clothes but they somehow survived. They met in the early hours before dawn in every rest stop bathroom they came across to defile the stalls, and kisses were shared any second everyone's backs were turned.

After getting back from vacation Dean and Cas went to Bobby's lake resort to help out with whatever and they thanked their lucky stars and every saint and god they knew that Bobby had run out of working cabins save for one. Usually each boy got their own cabin and in previous summers they reveled in their short time of independent spaces, but now that they'd discovered how much fun they could have with no clothes on they loved their tiny cabin together.

It was also the furthest from Bobby's house so they really were happy and allowed themselves to be loud and moaning.

The end of the summer came too quick for either. Dean's college might as well have been on the moon for how far it was away. Cas still had two years of high school to complete and there was no way he was letting Dean take that time off just so they could keep fucking. Neither was there a plausible reason for Cas to go out and visit without his family.

So Dean went off to college getting to know his new roommate Benny with he and Cas swearing to one another neither would get mad if they used their excess sexual frustration with another partner.

But partner there never seemed to be.

And it wasn't that Cas wasn't horny. Fuck it felt like he was a cat in heat or that dog that humped everything. Actually he _had_ humped both beds and a pillow with Dean's shirt on it one night when he was bored with his hand and it had been a fun change.

So Cas was fucking horny, and Dean kept urging him to sleep with other people, as long as he was safe Dean wanted him to take as many partners as he wanted. And Cas came close with a boy in his grade named Alfie. They were in the supply closet and Cas had gone down on him, finishing the boy off perfectly, but when Alfie put his mouth on Cas it just didn't feel right. Cas moaned in the right places and imagined Dean's freckled ass clenching as it thrust and he came down Alfie's throat.

The boy was good whenever Cas was really horny and needed to get off and his hand wouldn't do. Alfie never asked for a relationship which made Cas grateful, if he had to focus solely on fantasy Dean to get through a blowjob then how would he be on a date?

They drifted apart and by summer Cas was blue balling it constantly. He had started in on his secret, secret fantasy, the one he didn't even let Dean know about and he was beginning to feel even more comfortable in his skin. Which led to his libido reaching sky high limits.

It didn't help that Cas was accepted to an all summer architecture camp in New Hampshire and he would be leaving the day Dean was getting home. They saw one another in the airport which didn't count as their family waved Cas off as they hugged Dean hello.

The summer was amazing for Cas. He learned so much not only about his passion but about himself. He met a trans girl named Meg who showed him exactly who he needed to be.

So he returned home after Dean was gone and showed off his new self.

The reaction he got didn't surprise him.  


	4. Chapter 4

“Well it would be easier to send you to Dean’s school…” Naomi looked at her dishes. Cas swallowed hard, he wasn’t going to turn this into an argument, he really wanted to go to Dean’s school, not just because it was Dean’s school but because it was one of the highest rated for architecture programs in the country.

“They contacted me, mom, they want me to come out and give me an interview.” This was really something to be proud of, that’s what Dean had said when Cas excitedly shared the news with him. But he hardly felt proud in this moment. At this moment he felt like he was a burden and disgrace and Naomi refusing to look at him really cemented that.

“Well I suppose we can send you out, will Dean be ok with you spending the weekend in his dorm?” Naomi looked doubtful but Cas assured her Dean was absolutely fine with Cas staying with him. Dean used far more colorful and adult language that Cas didn’t pass along to their mother.

So Cas got a plane ticket and he was practically vibrating in happiness. Even Naomi’s thinned smile and request that Cas choose his outfit _carefully_ didn’t tarnish him. He was going to Dean. He was going to see Dean for the first time in a year and a half. He was going to kiss Dean after a year and a half of no kisses. He was overjoyed.

So he waved his family off, really he only waved at Sam, and got on his plane and flew to his best friend.

***

Cas watched his lover nod his head softly to the music pumping through the large headphones on his ears. He was working on some large piece of paper and making different calculations and measurements.

 _He is so damn beautiful_. Cas thought. _And he has no idea how amazing he is_.

Well Cas was just going to have to change that.

He snuck until he was up to the chair and spun Dean around.

“So you’re cheating on me with books?” he quirked an eyebrow and Dean got over his surprise by surging forward and spinning the brunet in his arms.

Dean was in shock. Cas was in his arms. Cas was here kissing him. Cas was not in Lawrence waiting for an airplane taking him to Dean, he was there in Seattle.

“Damn,” he breathed and reveled in the familiar scent he had somehow forgotten over the past year and a half. “Damn,” he murmured again and ran his hands through thick hair and held Cas as tight as he could and just _was_. “You’re a day early,” he felt a nod in his neck, “And you snuck into my dorm.”

“Surprise,” Cas whispered and Dean laughed.

“Yeah you could say that. What are you wearing?” they looked down at the dark grey skirt that cut just above Cas’s knee. “And more importantly are you keeping it?” The dude laughed and nodded.

“Skirts are really all I wear now, they’re just so comfortable.”

“You look amazing,” Dean murmured and ran a hand up and down Cas’s side. Dean couldn’t believe how much the brunet had changed. He was taller, almost reaching Dean, and had broadened to _muscle_ (mouthwatering score) and while his face was still young…that voice…that voice could read the dictionary on STDs and be sexy, that voice sounded like warm caramel in dark chocolate, that voice could command anything of Dean and his dick would happily roll over, play fetch, and come just from the sound alone.

“You got glasses,” Cas brushed Dean’s face and smiled. Dean was fucking sexy as hell and the time apart had not just been kind to him but dumped a whole bucket of sexy on him. “They look good,” Dean tugged at him harder and rubbed their cocks together.

“It’s only for when I’m making measurements and working with the little things.” He took them off and tossed them on the desk behind him.

“Well they make you look like a rugged, sexy librarian.”

“Fuck, where did you get that voice?”

“At the shop downtown, do you want me to return it?” Dean huffed a laugh and then punished his friend with a kiss.

“Don’t ever change,” he murmured between kisses and Cas beamed. He loved the feeling of Dean on him now that he could meet the man on equal ground. At fifteen he barely cam to Dean’s shoulder and now there was no bending over or standing on tiptoes to kiss, and his longer arms could really bundle up the man.

He pushed at Dean until he was backed up against his chair. Cas broke from the kiss and gave one final shove and Dean was sitting in front of him.

“Now I am surprised at you,” he chided as he took off his shirt and Dean followed suit eagerly. “If you had come to me in a skirt there would have been only one question I would have asked.”

“And what would that be?” Cas came up and straddled Dean.

“Are you wearing anything under it?” Cas said breathily and swooped down for a kiss so hard their lips were bruised. He laughed at the eager hands scrambling to get under the fabric and Dean moaned loudly when he found his answer.

Nothing at all.

Well there was something Cas was wearing.

“You kinky bastard,” dean breathed as he ripped open his pants. Cas shrugged.

“I didn’t want to wait.” He grunted when Dean flicked the glass plug.

“Fuck, you are way too fucking perfect for me.” Dean pulled the plug out and dropped it on his tee-shirt on the floor.

“I used enough,” Cas read dean’s face instantly, “You won’t need it.” And with that he sank himself down and they both shuddered.

“Not gonna last long,” Dean panted as Cas rode him hard.

“Me too,” he bounced and when he came down he flicked his hips and the chair squeaked and rolled. Neither noticed as they were too busy scratching and thrusting and kissing and riding and forgetting the world in the joy of finally being with one another. As Cas continued to ride Dean he also started flicking his tongue in the large mouth in time with his thrusts and Dean held on for dear life. This was what perfection felt like, Cas’s tight ass around his cock and Cas breathed into his mouth and Cas scratching the back of his neck and Cas’s heavy breaths filling the room and Cas’s sweat smell getting Dean high in so many ways.

Then it all clicked.

He was a fucking idiot.

It was _Cas_.

Cas was what made this all perfect. Cas was the person he thought of every day and the one he said goodnight to every night. Cas was the first person Dean wanted to tell anything to. Cas was the one who could get him to smile with a text, or make his day brighter with an email. It was all Cas.

“Cas,” he dragged out and snapped blue eyes on him. They were frantically moving to chase that astounding high and their noises were getting louder. “I love you,” Cas moaned and Dean felt hot wetness between them. Then as Cas’s ass tightened around him Dean came holding on to Cas for dear life.

“Now he tells me,” Cas whispered followed by a soft laugh as he rested in Dean’s chest. The older man held him tight and Cas shivered at the feeling of cum and lube dripping out of him.

“I’m sorry it took me so long to get my shit together.” He was kissed into silence.

“Don’t apologize. Ever.” Cas said fiercely. “I love you too.” He was much softer and his kissing became reverent and full of love.

“C’mon lover,” Dean couldn’t help smiling. “Bedtime, that one’s mine,” he pointed and Cas rose from the chair and a bit more fluid leaked out of him and he _adored_ it.

“Dean,” Cas called sleepily from the bed, he just dropped his skirt and slunk under the covers ass naked. “My suitcase is out in the hall.”

“And you aren’t getting it because…?”

“I can get it, baby, but I’m naked and not putting my clothes on.” Dean rolled his eyes and went to fetch the case in the hall.

“you know I wanted to take that nickname for you.” Cas looked a bit confused, really he was more sleepy as Dean slid in naked behind him. “I wanted to be the one to call you baby, I guess you’ll have to settle with sweetheart.” Cas sighed loudly.

“I guess.”

***

Dean was startled awake with “Shake It Off” playing loudly in his ear. He tried to bury himself down in Cas’s hair but to no luck. Benny glared down at him as they held Dean’s phone over his head. Wordlessly Benny pointed to the chair and the clothes everywhere.

“Ok, I’m sorry, and ok I’ll make it up to you.”

“Three.” Benny glared on.

“Three! This is a one at most! Maybe two!!” Benny narrowed their eyes and pointed to the chair again.

“Three.” Benny crossed their arms and dean rolled his eyes.

“Fine.” He huffed and rolled his eyes. “Three.” Benny seemed pleased and moved to take a shower but before they left they went to a whiteboard hanging on the door and tallied three marks under Dean’s name. Dean just huffed again and nestled his face back in Cas’s neck and pulled his arm tighter around the boy’s waist.

He nearly was able to get back to sleep when Cas started moving and rubbing up against dean.

“Mmmm, good morning,” he murmured and _damn_ even Cas’s morning breath was nice to Dean.

“Hey,” Dean beamed and kissed his best friend awake. “So my roommate is pissed,” he gestured around the room and Cas’s eyes went wide. He blushed at the plug lying on the floor and turned crimson when he saw the slick spot on the chair. “I should tell you, Benny is agender and asexual.” Cas nodded, “They prefer you call them they and them but they won’t mind if you accidentally call them him. I did it enough last year and I wanted to start you off on the right foot.”

“Right foot?” Cas panicked, “You mean I’m already making a bad impression?!”

“Hush sweetheart,” Dean kissed Cas’s nose. “Benny is asexual, they’re uncomfortable thinking about sex with people, and we very clearly had sex.” He gestured to their clothes and the fact they were still very naked. “But I will warn you Benny might be grossed out by the idea of sex with another person but they are addicted to masturbating so if they say they have to go to the bathroom, avoid the bathroom for a while.”

“Well give me my skirt.”

“What?!” Dean pouted, “But I want naked naked time…”

“And you’ll get it when we’re I private but this room isn’t private and we’re going to respect your roommate.”

“Words I like to hear,” Benny walked in wearing a towel. “You’ll be good for that one over there, perfect pouter is what he is.” Cas laughed and sat up being sure to keep himself covered. “You must be the world’s most talked about person, Castiel.” They came over and shook Cas’s hand.

“Most talked about…” Cas turned to Dean who was trying to hide behind the brunet’s shoulder, “You talk about me?”

“Almost every other damn minute,” Benny laughed and started to get dressed. They seemed to have no problem with nakedness, and Dean seemed used to it as he just flopped down on the bed.

“Well I promise we won’t have sex in the room, we’ll find another place.” Benny dipped their head.

“Much obliged Castel. I’ll wait for you two downstairs and we can go to breakfast.” Cas nodded but as soon as the door was closed he was being turned on his side and Dean was slipping lubed up fingers in him.

“Damn, you’re still open,” Dean ran a hot palm over Cas’s hip and removed his fingers for his cock.

“Well I had the plug in.” Cas gasped when Dean buried himself to the hilt and then snaked his hand under him so it could wrap up on his chest. “Ohhh, and I broke that, ohh fuck right there, that vibrator you sent me.”

“What? that thing was like a hundred and fifty bucks!” Cas turned and looked at him dead in the eye.

“Seventeen months.”

“Fair enough,” Dean panted and started thrusting hard. He bit the back of Cas’s neck when the boy threw his leg over Dean’s circling hips and brought his hand up to pull at blond hair.

“We shouldn’t do this,” Cas moaned and kissed Dean hard when the man found his cock and started fisting it in time with his thrusts. “We promised.”

“Then hurry up and come,” Dean mouthed back and tweaked a nipple as he slammed into Cas’s prostate.

“Fuck,” Cas dragged out and Dean cupped the cum spilling out of him. He brought his hand to his mouth and thrust furiously as he sucked the white off his hand.

“Ohh shit I forgot how good you taste.” Dean held Cas’s hips like a vice and slammed as hard as he could until he was coming hard.

“We are so going to hell,” Cas murmured and Dean laughed, holding his arms around Cas’s waist tighter.

“All the more reason to go big or go home,” he helped a shaky Cas out of the bed and into clothes. “You want to shower?”

“Can we have shower sex?”

“You’re ready again?”

“Come on,” Cas whined and wrapped his arms around Dean’s waist. “That was just a quickie, we can go again…”

“Well I can’t argue with that, but there are two very good reasons that I think will change your mind. One: there are a ton of dudes there who will _know_ exactly what we are doing. And two: breakfast ends in an hour and shower sex takes at least two.” Cas rolled his eyes and sighed.

“Fine but I’m not showering, I don’t want to wash away you when I just got you back.”

“Kinky,” Dean breathed as he got his shower stuff. “But you’re not ever gonna lose me.” Cas smiled and kissed dean lovingly. He slipped briefs on and another skirt. This one was navy blue and had stiff pleats ending just below Cas’s knees and Dean just had to run a hand on the world’s most amazing hip. “Fuck,” he murmured. “You are so fucking beautiful.”

“I was worried you’d be embarrassed…” Cas pulled on an undershirt and a sky blue thick, fuzzy sweater.

“Why? If it makes you happy then I’m all for it. I may not like that everyone can see those legs…” Cas laughed.

“There are some who don’t…” he played with his hem nervously. “Dad, um, kind of…we had a huge fight and we’re not really…um…speaking.”

“Sweetheart,” Dean enveloped Cas and hugged him hard. “He was like that when I came out, he’ll come around once he processes. And if he doesn’t,” Dean gave a huge sigh, “Fuck him.” Cas nodded softly in Dean’s chest and then pulled away.

“C’mon, you said breakfast ended soon and you have to shower.”

“Why don’t you go down and wait with Benny? Oh come on,” Dean read Cas’s face perfectly, “They’re not gonna bite, probably just ask for embarrassing stories about me.”

“Oh good I have a lot of material then,” Cas teased and then laughed when Dean pinched his side.

“Hey Cas?” Dean held just the tips of Cas’s fingers as the boy turned from the doorway. “Can we be…boyfriends? Like, only us…?” he was shocked when arms came and spun him around. He could feel the pure joy radiating out of Cas. “Awesome.”

“Benny,” Cas waved at the…guy? He was going to have to ask.

“You two had sex again,” Benny shook their head and laughed. “Well I guess you must really have an effect on princess, he always keeps the room clean so when I came in last night and saw the mess…”

“I am sorry for that, if I had known you were uncomfortable…”

“Forget it Cas,” Benny waved him off, “I’m a little uncomfortable with the fact that you had sex, I think it’s gross, but I know you’re gonna do it. I’d just prefer if it was in Dean’s bed so I don’t have to sit in jizz.”

“Yeah I sort of surprised him and came a day early. I have a meeting with the dean in the architecture department tomorrow.” Benny laughed hard.

“Oh hell, I knew you were coming, Dean has been walking on a cloud since you called. He’s marked days on his calendar and counted down the weeks and on Monday he was even counting the hours.” Cas blushed and benny became more serious. “I’m sure it’s hard, your relationship, Dean told me…”

“That I’m his stepbrother? Yeah, and no one knows, I think it’s been easier being apart because if we were home together…all I want to do is kiss him and hold his hand. Sorry,” Benny waved him off again.

“Hey I don’t like sex, but I’m all for kissing and cuddling.”

“And Dean said you were agender…”

“Yup, I was born with a penis and I like my penis but I’ve never seen myself as a man or a woman, just sort of human entity.” Cas nodded. “And you?” They made a gesture to Cas’s skirt. “Man or woman?”

“Oh, man all the way, but I love the feel of it.” he swayed a bit and Benny nodded.

“I can see that, you’re nineteen and can pull it off.”

“Oh um,” Cas played with his sweater. “I’m um, seventeen.”

“Wait, you’re seventeen? _Seventeen_.” Benny was incredulous. “But you’re coming for college and you’re graduating.”

“My birthday is in the summer and I skipped the eighth grade.”

“So you and Dean got together when you were…”

“Fifteen,” Cas said quietly.

“So you can say you’re high school sweethearts, aww,” Benny shoved their face in Cas’s space and cooed. Cas laughed and pushed Benny away, “Just,” they sobered, “When it gets difficult, just think about how amazing you feel with him and how he loves you and how you’ll spend forever with each other.” there was a look in Benny’s eye that told Cas they had to tell themselves that several times.

“Yeah, I want to wait to tell our family until I’m at college for a while, if they found out our relationship started when I was fifteen they could lock Dean away, they still can since I’m underage.”

“Would they?”

“I don’t know,” Cas ran a hand through his hair. “I thought I would be accepted with my skirts and our brother doesn’t care, every time he goes clothes shopping he keeps buying me skirts he likes, but it makes mom uncomfortable, she tolerates but she’s happier when I’m in pants.”

“And your dad?”

“We don’t speak.” Cas didn’t mean to be curt but he didn’t want to talk about it, to see someone look at him in pity. But Benny didn’t.

“I get that. My old man was the same. He yelled and said that since I had a penis that I was a man, and my mom just cried and said she’d never have grandkids.” Cas snorted but he caught the same tones in Benny’s voice that he conversation needed to be dropped. Fortunately, Dean walked up and took Cas’s hand, kissing him on his temple.

“What time is your interview tomorrow?” They were seated in a large, loud room with cereal and pancakes.

“Nine, I’m a little nervous, this is a really good school.” Dean, who had refused to let go of his hand, squeezed it.

“You’re going to be fine.”

“Yes, and when you are here next year we can get an apartment and keep princess in line.” Cas smiled and looked around the large room, he wanted to go to this school badly, and not just because Dean was here (though it was a huge part), but it was one of the highest colleges for architecture in the country.

“You’re going to be amazing,” Dean whispered, “I got into this college and I’m not as smart as you and Sammy, skipping grades.”

“But you’re going to be an engineer, that’s incredibly smart.” Cas kissed Dean before he could argue. “What’s your major, Benny?”

“Computer engineer, I think that’s why we were placed together last year, and then I liked that he was so lovesick over you that he never brought anyone to the dorm so I requested him again this year.”

Dean groaned, “Benny remember how we talked about what things we weren’t going to tell Cas?”

“What?” Benny had their mouth full and tried to look innocent. “Well at least I didn’t tell him about how you get giddy like a school girl whenever he texts, or when he said he was coming out here you even went and cleaned the bathrooms.” Cas laughed as Dean glared on, “Oh he was impossible! He marked his desk calendar, his phone, my calendar just in case I forgot, unlikely as every morning he ticked off a box and muttered the number of days left.” Cas turned to his crimson boyfriend.

“I love you,” he whispered.

“Yeah, yeah,” Dean huffed and tried to brush it off and maintain his gruff exterior.

“I put the date on my phone, computer, calendar, and the family calendar. Mom still thinks I’m obsessed with this college because I kept reminding her she had to drop me off at the airport.”

“You two are disgustingly adorable.” Benny declared and got up to dump their tray. “I have class, I’ll see you tonight for dinner.” They waved off at the couple and the two finished their breakfast in relative quiet their hands still glued together.

“So what do we have today?”

“Well I have class at three and I thought we could tour campus so we can stay in bed all weekend.” Cas beamed and kissed.

“And tomorrow?”

“I have class from eight to noon and then I’m done for the weekend. Oh and there’s a group of us that always get together on Friday nights for a movie. We don’t have to go,” he started quickly.

“Oh I want to, I’m sure I’ll need to at least make an appearance, being the world’s most spoken about person.” He winked and Dean kissed his hand.

“I can’t help it sweetheart, I fell hard for you a long time ago. I only just realized now.” His _boyfriend_ (dean was never going to get tired of thinking that) smiled at him bashfully.

“When did you fall?”

“Oh um…I guess when I gave my raggedy old copy of _The Secret Staircase_ to this boy and he refused to let it go for a week.” Cas blushed hard and looked at their hands.

“I fell in love with you when you protected Sam from those bullies when he was eight. I was in awe of this _older_ boy who was cool with hanging out with us. You were my hero for, well I guess you still are.” Dean looked unbelieving and Cas was just going to have to work on his _boyfriend’s_ (that was never going to get old) confidence. “So do you have homework?”

“Yeah, but I can put it off.” Cas crossed his arms stubbornly. They dumped their trays and started walking out of the mess hall and back to Dean’s dorm.

“When do you do your homework?”

“Well Thursdays because they’re my free day, but I can wait till the weekend.”

“Ahh yes but we are going to tour campus for all the best places for sex this weekend.”

“Good point.”  

Cas watched Dean study the rest of the day. They went to the college library because both agreed neither could be trusted alone in a room with a bed. So Dean grabbed a study room while Cas wandered the library and found all kinds of architecture books. Cas felt like a real college student when he left to get them some sandwiches and by Dean’s two o’clock class the older boy had everything done.

Cas kissed him off and said he wanted to read his books more while Dean was away at class. He lost himself so completely that he jumped when arms came around his neck and lips attacked his skin.

“You’re delicious,” Dean murmured and Cas turned and giggled. “And when you study you get a little frown between your eyebrows and you chew on your bottom lip. I didn’t know how much I missed that,” Dean seemed surprised at his saying this.

They went to dinner, meeting Benny and Cas really loved his boyfriend’s roommate. The person was funny and easy to laugh and Cas could tell a real friend of Dean’s.

“I’ll make myself scarce tonight,” Benny winked. “I’ll spend it over at Charlie’s.” They waved off and Cas and Dean grinned. A lot of sex was happening tonight.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So there's the reveal! Cas still has a lot of growing to do so don't think it ends here. 
> 
> I will say I'm very nervous about Benny, I really want to write characters of all genders and sexualities so Benny is my first. If you see anything I'm getting terribly wrong please, please message me, I want to write as true to what it's like to be agender and asexual and any notes you can give me will be incredibly helpful! And yes I understand the two don't go hand in hand that you can be agender and not asexual and vice versa, but Benny's gender and sexuality will make sense further in the plot. 
> 
> Ok thank you and have an amazing day!


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So GISHWHES was amazing, we only had three people participating but we ended up getting about fifty items finished so that was fun. I just started the Ravlympics so I hope to keep writing but I'm not making any promises. And, if that weren't enough, I'm moving into a house in a few weeks so I really want to say that I'm keeping up but please forgive me if I am MIA for a few weeks. 
> 
> Love to you all and I can't wait to hear what you think of the chapter!

Benny chuckled when they walked in the room the next morning. This time the mess was clean and two exhausted men were deep asleep on top of one another their hair still messy and the blankets wrapped around their legs. Benny frowned at the nakedness, they didn’t mind naked bodies but they didn’t like when the…parts were so close and touching other peoples. The thought of them bumping junk with someone else made the being a bit nauseous but they pushed that thought away.

They grabbed their bathroom and shower stuff and left, closing the door softly.

Cas scrunched his nose and woke when the door clicked shut and he looked up at Dean’s sleeping face. He was so damn beautiful Cas would never get tired of looking at him. He started slightly when he saw the blankets were still so low and their _everything_ was shown off. He pulled the sheets up and softly lowered himself to Dean’s chest.

“Making us more presentable,” Dean hummed and Cas grinned.

“No one should enjoy that pretty ass like I do.”

“Enjoy, no, look at, yes. I have a great ass.”

“Mmm yes,” Cas’s hand snaked down to the ass in question and patted it, “What time is your class?”

“Ten,” Dean stretched around Cas. “What time is it?”

“Nine thirty,” Cas yawned. Dean groaned loudly and got up.

“Well then let’s have breakfast and then are you going to be ok for your meeting?” Dean started grabbing shower stuff and Cas followed suit.

“I feel ready, I’m a little nervous,” Cas played with his tee shirt and Dean kissed him, “Distract me,” Cas instructed, “What are you taking?”

“Dynamics of wind flow.”

“Sexy,” Cas made a face. “I think I’ll just eat breakfast with you, go to the meeting, and then take my sketchbook out and draw the buildings.” Dean wiggled his eyebrows and went in for a kiss.

“That’s sexy,” they went for a quick shower, not able to share since the bathroom was full of men moving all over the place and being loud and laughing. They finished quickly and Dean whistled when Cas slipped on a conservative blue dress, scarf, and black cardigan.

“You look amazing,” he hummed and Cas blushed. They walked out hand in hand and ate a quick breakfast. Dean kissed Cas again quickly and promised he would be amazing and pointed him in the direction of the architecture building.

“Ahh Mr. Winchester,” a smiling man came out and grinned when he took Cas’s hand. “I—I apologize,” he took in Cas’s dress. “Do you prefer Ms. Winchester?” Cas couldn’t describe the feeling in his gut, it was an amazing release and this man’s, this stranger’s, reaction was the greatest reaction he’d ever had, including his boyfriend’s.

“No I’m a man, I just prefer to wear this type of clothing.” The man nodded again and he shook Cas’s hand again.

“I’m Professor Warren, I’m very excited you are interested in our school.” They moved back to his office and Cas tried to beat down his excitement when he saw the skyline in the wide windows of the man’s office. He took in the blueprints framed on the walls and he felt like he was home.

“So I’ve had a chance to look over your portfolio and I’m very impressed.” They discussed Cas’s portfolio and it felt more like two colleagues sitting and talking preferences rather than an interview for the school.

***

Dean cut out of class a little early, whispering to his professor about his situation and the professor waved him off. He grabbed two steaming cups of coffee and waited in the lobby of the architecture building.

He lost himself in his homework and one second he was reading about air flow and the next a body sat across him grinning like a fool.

“I’m guessing that the meeting went well.” Dean snapped his textbook shut and Cas smiled harder. “Hey come here and kiss me,” he patted his lap and Cas just shook his head.

“I’m a grown up now, I’m not going to be childish and knock you over and kiss you like mad.”

“Oh big time architect is too grown up?” Dean stalked over and kept Cas’s eyes. “Good for you we engineers are pure children.” He tweaked Cas’s nose and kissed him.

They walked out, hand in hand, and Cas rehashed every minute detail of the meeting down to the color of the mug he drank coffee in (red with cream and two sugars). He kept repeating the details over and over and only shut up when Dean sat him on his bed and shoved his head up his dress.

“You didn’t have to do that,” Cas carded through Dean’s hair as they lay, completely sated, on the bed.

“I know, but I really _wanted_ to.” Dean winked and Cas laughed. “So, Cas, you really want to go here, not because I’m here? I won’t mind if you have your heart set somewhere else and you’re only settling here because I’m here. We’ll still see each other and we’ll work it out.”

“No, I really want to go here.”

“Good because I really want you to go here,” Dean clung to Cas tighter. “Because I really want to hold you and hug you and kiss you like this.” Cas giggled as Dean kissed up and down his arm.

Sci-fi club was really fun and Cas had a great time. Benny was there and for some reason he and Dean were arguing heavily over a box of Sour Patch Kids. A redhead named Charlie came over to him and shook his hand hard.

“So you’re the famous Castiel,” she grinned but didn’t say anything more.

“I’ve heard that so many times I feel like I need to start autographing napkins,” Charlie guffawed and just like Benny Cas took to her instantly.

“Well I hope you’re meeting went well and that means you’re coming here next year because I’ve never seen him happier right now,” they both looked over at Dean who was arguing fiercely with Benny.

“You can tell that’s happy? Looks more pissy to me,” they both laughed again and Dean, seeming to know he was being talked about, came over with a grumpy expression which brightened when Cas kissed him.

“What were you two arguing about?” Cas tilted his head and slipped in Dean’s open arm around his shoulders. Charlie laughed and before Dean could answer she pounced in.

“Oh they always start the night off like this, they both love blue Sour Patch Kids so they keep a tally over the week stating who owes whom.”

“You addict,” Cas murmured and Dean grumbled something and led them to a giant beanbag and flopped them both down facing the large television. They resettled limbs and really snuggled in, all while with a frowny face on Dean.

“Dean?” Cas looked down at their entwined fingers.

“Yeah?” Dean forgot his grumpy mood when Cas’s voice sounded so vulnerable like this. He was an ass, he was grumbling over fucking candy when Cas was there, Cas was in his arms, Cas loved him, Cas was his boyfriend, and soon Cas was going to be gone. He wasn’t going to waste a second.

“Can we,” Cas worried his lips and looked shyly at Dean, “Can we have sex tonight?” His face broke into a goofy grin and Dean pushed his face away with a wide palm.

“You fucking dork.”

Everyone looked on and sighed at the two men. They were so clearly in love that it was so easy a blind man could see. They talked and giggled softly and when the movie started they quieted with Cas resting his head on Dean’s chest and Dean’s thumb idly rubbing up and down on Cas’s arm.

Cas made it through a movie and a half before he fell asleep softly on Dean’s chest. It had been so long since he’d felt his best friend, smelled his natural body odor, felt his chest rise and fall gently. Cas was overwhelmed with how good it all felt to be back in Dean’s arms that it was impossible for him to stay awake. So he slipped his eyes shut just for a moment and five minutes later Dean was shaking him awake. The credits for the third movie were rolling and Cas blinked rather stupidly.

“What time is it?”

“Twelve forty five.” Dean grinned when his boyfriend yawned spectacularly and stretched. He tried to wiggle out of the beanbag and his boyfriend’s arms but Dean was having none of that. Cas made a frustrated noise and Dean grinned even harder.

“Let me go,” Cas made a face and Dean shook his head.

“Nope, you made a promise to me, and I’m gonna expect that you fulfill it.” Cas tilted his head and so Dean leaned in and panted hot air in his ear. “You said we were going to have sex,” Cas squeaked then moaned when broad hands slipped under his shirt. The younger boy looked around wildly but the room they were using had been deserted long ago and the lights were shut off and the door closed. They were alone, well not really since anyone could walk in on them, perhaps someone had forgotten something and came back to retrieve it only to find Dean and Cas…and that thought sent blood pouring to Cas’s dick. His skirt started to move and Dean grinned when he saw it in the flickering light of the movie.

Dean grabbed the remote from the table next to them and restarted the movie, not that Cas was going to notice in a minute anyway. He grabbed his boyfriend’s hips and pulled Cas so his whole body covered Dean’s.

“Apparently we’re doing this here,” Cas joked in the dark, he could feel the hard outline of something at his backside and his skirt was really moving now. Dean simply hummed while his hands ran reverently all over Cas’s body. He flattened his palms when he came to wide hips and moved past where they both really wanted him to be to reach between legs and pushed thighs apart. Cas opened easily for him with a small noise of longing and they kissed.

The kiss wasn’t gentle, it was hot, bloody, and demanding. Cas bit all over Dean’s lips before they both opened their mouths wide enough to swallow the other man down. Dean’s hands continued up and down Cas’s exposed legs, his fingers every so often brushing the skin under Cas’s skirt and the man was going wild. He started moving his ass over Dean’s lap and his hands carded through Dean’s hair, tugged at Dean’s clothes, and laced with the hands rubbing up and down his legs.

The beanbag shifted slightly when Dean moved his hips to open his lap wider for Cas. Cas moaned when a hard cock started rubbing up his ass in the perfect way that only Dean could fit. Dean yanked Cas’s legs open as far as they would go and moved away from his boyfriend’s bruised lips to mark up his neck _obscenely_. Cas could only choke out moans and beg his lover to fuck him. Dean pulled off the lovely bite he’d just made and grinned up at Cas like a demon.

“Hoped I’d get to use this,” he wiggled the pocket pack of lube.

“You savage,” Cas panted before biting Dean’s ear. He groaned when slick fingers shoved his skirt up and his briefs down just enough to expose his ass. Now Cas had had semi-public sex before. He had found every place in his school to have sex and there was no denying the dude got off on the thrill of someone maybe watching.

And this was a whole new ball game.

At school he’d always been careful enough to know that while someone may walk in on him the chances were likely. He knew which people would be down which hallways when and for how long. Now he had not a clue. He had no idea and someone could come bursting in at any second. And holy hell did that thrill him.

His body was thrown back in exquisite pleasure as Dean continued to breach him, relentlessly fucking with his fingers until Cas was a babbling mess.

“I’m ready, fuck me,” He panted and Dean only smirked, licking the new bruise he’d left on Cas’s collarbone.

“Mmm, I can wait a bit more.” He hummed and Cas groaned.

“Dean I want, I _need_ you in me right fucking now. Fuck me so hard I’m going to need your help to walk home.” Those were the magic words because Dean snarled at his neck and ripped up for another brutal kiss. his hands left Cas’s thighs for a moment just to open his pants and take out his leaking cock. They wasted no time getting Dean inside Cas and they both shuddered in the kiss when Cas squeezed around Dean to encourage him to set a brutal pace.

Once they were comfortable Dean returned his hands to Cas’s thighs and he gripped so hard bruises formed under his fingers. He thrust like a mad man and Cas rolled his head back on Dean’s warm shoulder and choked out moans in time with the brutal hits to his ass.

“Yes, yes, yes,” Cas’s speech was punctuated with every hit. “Oh. Fuck. Yes.” One of his hands reached up to grab and yank and claw at Dean’s face while the other started furiously at his cock. Dean abandoned one thigh for shoving Cas’s shirt up and brutalizing his nipples, leaving a shiny line of lube on his stomach.

“Dean,” Cas tried to move his leg and his best friend got the message. Dean moved his hand and hooked it under one of Cas’s legs and really spread eagle him.

“Open your eyes,” Dean commanded and Cas did searching for forest black. “Look,” Dean flicked his eyes away from them. Cas obeyed and with a thrill saw the door was facing them and if anyone were to look through the window they would see Cas and his family jewels in all their glory.

“Shit,” he panted and fisted at his cock harder.  He truly went limp on Dean’s heaving chest when Dean found his prostate, a spot which the older man had memorized but this was a new position for them.

“Close?” Dean hummed in Cas’s mouth.

“Incredibly,” Cas moaned and he shuddered when Dean redoubled his efforts and fucked into him even harder.

Their orgasms collided with each other and earned them a scream as they crashed into oblivion. Cas oozed all over his hand and Dean came so much it gushed out of Cas’s ass. They continued moving after they even realized it, while their hips stilled their chests heaved, hearts raced, bodies twitched in tiny bursts of aftershocks, bliss lingered for moments sending them fuzzy and boneless. They sighed together and eased into the warm glow of a doze.

“I liked that,” Cas hummed,

“I did too,” Dean nuzzled Cas’s face and rubbed his lover’s stomach. “We should make a habit out of this.”

“Sex or semi-public sex?”

“Mmm either,” Dean nipped at Cas’s ear. “Both,” he bit just a bit harder, “All the time,” Cas started panting when the bites came harder, “Every chance we get,” he slowed down and just mouthed over Cas’s bruised neck.

“I like that,” Cas turned and kissed his lover, he slowly rolled so he could lay over Dean’s chest and they made out quietly for a while.

“I,” Cas announced when they rolled off and knelt on the floor before getting up. “Am a hot mess,” his grin was huge and Dean matched it. They helped Cas right his shirt and underwear and skirt until he looked mostly descent, the bruises on his neck would have to be covered up but there was nothing they could do about it now. Dean tucked himself back in his pants and they stood on tottering legs.

“Fuck I may need help walking back,” Cas joked as his legs felt like they were made of jello.

“I don’t blame you, I know I’m fantastic.”

“Mmm,” Cas walked, stumbled, up and rubbed his hands all over Dean’s chest. “You are, and in thanks I’m going to do that thing you like in bed when we get back.”

“What thing?” Cas leaned in and lay his body flush against Dean’s and whispered in his ear.

“Your favorite.” He breathed and if Dean had a tail it would be wagging off his butt right now.

They made it back to Dean’s dorm, though Cas had to lean heavily on Dean’s shoulder. When they got back to the room they found it empty with a note from Benny saying they’d be gone all weekend and for Cas and Dean to enjoy themselves. So Dean lay himself down on the bed with his fingers laced behind his head in a clear invitation.

And call him simple or underrated or stupid, but his favorite happened to be when Cas got under all the covers and blew him. It was simple and some might say easy, but no one had ever been blown by Cas.

***

“I don’t want to go,” Cas murmured in Dean’s neck.

“I know sweetheart, but we’ll see each other in four weeks for Christmas.” Dean nosed at the hair that still smelled like sex.

“Too long,” Cas hugged Dean tighter, this man was his best friend, the one who he could tell anything to, the one who understood him the best. “Can’t I just stay here?”

“Well you could, but then you wouldn’t be graduating, you wouldn’t be able to accept the place they have for you here and you would end up bitter and resentful.”

“But we could have fantastic sex, all the time,” Cas whined.

“Mmm, I like you happy and not bitter and resentful.” Dean patted Cas. “Come on sweetheart, I love you and you love me and you’re going to go back there for six months and then we’ll live together.” That brought Cas out of his neck.

“Live together? Really?”

“You,” Dean kissed Cas’s cheek, “Me,” he kissed an ear, “Living,” he nudged Cas’s scarf down and kissed a purple hickey, “Together,” he pulled up and looked deep in eyes he wanted to get lost in for forever, “Sharing one bed, and a kitchen, and a bathroom, and a closet, and a couch, and a tv, and everything else we can think of. We’ll share it all, sweetheart,” and Cas sank into the words like a hot bath.

“Together,” Cas murmured.

“Together,” Dean affirmed.

So Cas got on his plane, but Dean did not come home for Christmas. A terrible blizzard hit Seattle so Dean was stuck and Cas was slightly less miserable after the hundred odd texts about everything from love to sex to random thoughts that would pop into Dean’s head.

A month before graduation Cas’s transvestite identity was well and truly out and it was made clear to him that if he continued nothing would be done for him and the entire house just waited until he could be gotten rid of.

It didn’t help that Dean had the opportunity to go to an engineer camp for three weeks and rather than coming home when Cas needed him he wouldn’t be arriving until the week after Cas graduated.

Sam did what he could to help his brother, he was having a difficult time himself, Cas was his favorite person along with Dean and seeing Cas in so much pain and anguish caused Sam to stim constantly.

They needed Dean to come home.  

 


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I reread my work all the time. Like this chapter has probably been proofed about six or seven times. I mention this because I am also under a deadline to finish knitting this shawl and proofing while knitting complicated beaded lace takes a bit longer than normal...also when I first wrote this Naomi was actually Mary so I had to change every time her name came up...I'm rambling.

Cas shook his hand impatiently. He had been eighteen for three fucking weeks and he still hadn’t seen his boyfriend. He was completely legal now, and Dean was still across the country going to some engineer camp for genius engineers and that was what pissed Cas off. He was angry at himself for just wanting Dean right fucking next to him that he was having a very hard time being happy for his boyfriend and the opportunity the man was having right now.

At least it was all over, Dean was coming home.

Cas had tried to play off picking Dean up as no big deal. He was happy to do it and that way it didn’t have to interfere with everyone else.

Of course no one listened to him and now he was going to have to use every ounce of control he had to not run up to his lover and kiss him like mad. All he could think about in the past few days (who was he kidding it was ever since that timid question “Can we be boyfriends?” of Dean’s) was taking Dean in his arms and spinning the man around and kissing and touching and holding hands and caressing and fucking…. _annnnnnd_ he had a boner, _again_. He shifted in the car and fortunately no one noticed. Naomi was too busy trying to be overly cheerful, John was putting all his aggression into driving, and Sam was stimming. The past few months had been extremely stressful and Sam had picked up on it and was coping as best as he could.

“Hey,” Cas leaned over and whispered, he didn’t touch Sam knowing that would upset the boy more, “Tell me all you know about the heart.”

“There are four chambers in the heart…” and Sam was off. He focused on the window but his stims were lessened a bit and Cas listened earnestly, he needed a distraction too.

When they were parked and settled at baggage claim Cas had to ask about the lungs and spleen while they waited. Dean’s plane was delayed and the tension was creeping back in. Dean was supposed to be their saving grace, their buffer, everything would be better once Dean came back.

So Sam walked through exactly how to cure a pulmonary edema while their parents stood awkwardly behind Cas who gave all his attention to his brother. This whole mess was his fault anyway, at least he could help Sam.

“We are in public,” Cas heard John mutter between Sam’s dissection of the liver.

“John,” Naomi put a calming hand on his shoulder, “Let’s just pick up Dean.”

Cas asked more and more medical questions, Sam was taking anatomy so he had a lot to talk about and he was calmer and even could look Cas in the eye.

“There he is,” Sam interrupted himself and pointed. Dean was coming down an escalator and waving like mad. Cas knew he was getting red marks in his fingers he was gripping the edge of the bench so hard, but the pain was the only thing stopping him from running to his best friend and hugging and begging they get on a plane and fly away.

“Dean,” Naomi hugged her son hard and John followed suit. Sam, thanks to Cas’s never ending questions, was able to get up and hug his brother and Dean looked on in surprise.

“Hey,” he whispered and hugged Cas hard. He pulled back with a tiny look of question and concern but Cas shook his head. He couldn’t believe he’d forgotten how beautiful Dean was. He wanted to just stand and count the man’s freckles, or hold hands and feel Dean’s love wash into him.

As Dean looked at his boyfriend he felt the exact same way. Except Cas had become even more beautiful somehow. His boyfriend was wearing a soft grey maxi skirt, a gift from Sam, and a black tank top and he was so damn muscular that Dean almost started to pant. His eyes were alive with blue fire and dusky black at the same time.

“Are you wearing makeup?” He looked hard into Cas’s eyes, he was about to say how fucking hot it was but Cas’s face crushed and they heard a harsh “I _told_ you,” from their father behind them.

“Let’s get Dean’s bags.” Naomi quickly stepped in and Cas nodded once. He left Dean’s side and fell to the back of the group with Sam.

“Castiel? Tell me about Frank Lloyd Wright.” Sam said softly and Cas looked at his brother in thanks.

“Wright was an American architect at the turn of the century. He created…” and Cas forgot was he was saying and just described buildings to Sam. The boy never interrupted and listened patiently and when Dean had his bag and they were all walking to the car Cas felt calmed.

“Thank you,” he breathed and Sam patted his arm. He got in the car following their parents and Cas stood for a second with Dean behind the car getting his bags in.

“You look fucking beautiful,” Dean whispered and squeezed Cas’s hand. He moved and sat in the middle seat and Cas relaxed into his warm side. They hid their fingers under legs and twined them together as Dean answered all kinds of questions about life and college and Benny and camp and the tension that had been living with them like a sixth person was eased.

“Hey,” Dean pulled his phone out, “Happy birthday,” he pulled up a picture of a box with a picture of a huge drafting table on it. “I wanted to bring the box but it was too heavy for the plane. Also,” he pulled out a bracelet of braided leather, “I saw it and thought of you.” His thumb was pointing to words etched inside the bracelet, a very small _I love you_.

“Thank you,” Cas breathed as he slipped the leather on. The words burned into his skin and made him feel warm and happy.

Cas reveled in the ninety minute drive and while he and Dean couldn’t say the things they wanted to they had what they needed.

“Oh, Cas, I forgot to tell you Benny and I got an apartment for next year.” Dean turned and was lost in how incredible Cas’s eyes looked surrounded by the makeup. “It’s a two bedroom, but we’ve shared before,” his voice was normal, nothing out of the ordinary but Cas saw the promise in his eyes. Dean had no idea what was going on in the family right now, but he was making this promise to Cas. Make it through the summer and we’re living together. We’ll be sharing a bed and a life and a home.

“That’s great,” he smiled and Dean nodded.

“I thought he would live in the dorms.” Naomi said not looking back. “It’s a right of passage to be in the dorms.”

“Well you could,” Dean tilted his head and Naomi looked back at him. “But this apartment will be cheaper with three of us living there and Benny is a great cook when it comes to hot dogs and ramen,” he winked at Cas, “The being can make anything taste good.”

“Being!” Cas squeezed Dean’s hidden hand. “I forgot to ask if it was ok to call them a dude or what they preferred.”

“Well they really don’t care, if you call everyone a dude then they wouldn’t mind, but they prefer being.” Cas nodded, he was going to remember that and Dean’s eyes crinkled in just a way that was saved only for Castiel.

“What the hell kind of school is that?” John muttered and Cas squeezed Dean’s hand in warning.

“Benny is agender, dad, they were born never feeling any gender.”

“So what are _they_?”

“They are a human being, they aren’t man or woman.”

“How were they born?”

“Genderless.” John thinned his lips and scowled at the road. Fortunately they were home and Sam ran for his room, he had started to stim again and he was going to look at his anatomy book Cas had gotten him to calm down.

John stalked off to the garage and Naomi said something about starting dinner. Cas went back and pulled Dean’s backpack out and shouldered it.

“Shit, has it always been this bad?”

“Worse,” Cas whispered, “I started it all,” he looked at his hands, “I know it’s all my fault, but hopefully once I leave they’ll be happier.”

“Hey,” Dean cupped a downcast face and looked into eyes that were forming tears. “Hey,” he set his bag down and hugged his boyfriend. “None of this is your fault.” He whispered and rubbed a circle in the back of Cas’s hair.

“But it all started when I wore skirts.”

“Yeah but if they’re not accepting you then it’s their fault not yours.”

“But—”

“Not yours Castiel.” Dean pulled back, it was as long as they dared to touch. He did brush at Cas’s face for just a moment. “You are so beautiful, I love you so much.” Cas smiled softly and they moved through the house to their room.

Dean could tell it had been bad, Cas had already boxed everything he owned up and the only sign really of anyone living there was a calendar with large X’s and numbers written on it. Not counting down the days to when Dean came home, but counting down when Cas could leave.

“Hey, come here,” Dean whispered after he’d shut the door quietly. He pulled Cas into a kiss and they both sighed. “I love you, and after the vacation we will go to Bobby’s and then we’ll leave for college.” Cas sighed and smiled, “And we’ll have a shitty apartment with leaky pipes but we’re not going to care because our room will have one bed and we’ll fall asleep in each other’s arms,” Cas closed his eyes and sank in like a warm bath. “And I’ll wake up every morning and just look at you,” Dean kissed Cas again, “And I will just sit and wonder how I got to be so fucking lucky to have the perfect life.”

“And I’ll wake up and make coffee and we can have breakfast in bed and we can watch movies on the couch cuddled in and we’ll introduce ourselves as boyfriends and have fantastic sex and hold hands out in the open.” They both smiled and kissed once more, pulling away when they heard Sam coming through the bathroom.

“Dean do you have laundry? You should do it now, we’re leaving early tomorrow.”

“Leaving? I just got here!” Dean winked at Cas, “What are we leaving for?”

“Castiel I told you to tell Dean about my medical internship!” Cas sat on Dean’s bed as the man threw his suitcase on and opened it.

“I did Sammy, he just doesn’t listen very well.”

“I remember Sam,” Dean smiled at his brother and Sam rolled his eyes. He sat on Cas’s bed and looked at the closed door. “What is it?” Dean stopped taking out his dirty laundry and sat next to Cas.

“I don’t want mom and dad to come.” Sam whispered quickly. “I don’t like how mom and dad have been treating Castiel, I don’t want them to drive me there.” Cas stared in shock, he knew Sam was picking up on the tension and the stress of the family but he was surprised Sam would choose him over their parents. Then again…Cas thought about his closet that was full of skirts two thirds of them from Sam, and his makeup bag in the bathroom, his brother had stocked most of it.

“Sam,” his tone was tease free and he stood to sit next to his brother. “Sam I’m ok, I can take it. It doesn’t make me angry.”

“It makes me angry. I want to go with you and Dean.” He crossed his arms and rose, leaving them.

“What the hell has been going on around here?” Cas didn’t want to look at his boyfriend. No matter what Sam or Dean said he felt the creeping shame through his bones that he was the cause of all this. If he was normal then their family would be whole. Hell he could be just gay and it’d be fine. Dad accepted Dean, and Dean didn’t hide that he was bi. No it was everything else Cas did, the skirts, the makeup, the other...he wasn’t _normal_ and over the past few weeks Cas had wished to whatever God was out there that he was.

“Well we stopped speaking over the skirts, you know that,” he felt the bed dent next to him and Dean’s hand between his shoulders. “And then I was out with Sam, Jess, Ash, and Jo and we walked past a makeup booth and they dared me to try it. Well, Jo dared me but she knew how much I wanted to try makeup. And I loved it. I loved putting it on, I love the way I feel in it, I love what I can do with it.” He felt Dean nod, “And I came home thinking maybe if mom and dad saw how insanely happy this made me they would be glad…dad just shook his head in disgust and left and mom just stayed in the kitchen.”

“So it’s been like that…” Cas shook his head.

“Well it got a bit better, I would take my makeup and skirts to school and change there.” Dean made a noise but didn’t speak, “So we…um…got a bit better. Then Jo and I went shopping and she got me to buy…” Cas went furious red and refused to look up. This was probably going to end their relationship, the shame was too much for Dean to cure or handle, “Panties.” He whispered. The hand on his back froze and Cas just barreled through, “And they felt so good, and I wanted to try all different kinds. So I bought more,” he continued on, maybe he could love Dean enough (if Dean forgave him for this) to give it all up. If Dean was willing to take him Cas might be able to give up the satin and lace and silk. Maybe. “One night I came home from Jo’s and I was really tired and I wasn’t thinking, I just went through my normal routine. Mom found the panties when she came to do the laundry. I’d been so careful to wash them on my own in the locker room.” Cas still beat himself up, if he hadn’t been so careless they all would still be happy right now and he could go on being a closeted transvestite. “So that’s where we’re at now. Dad spoke to me for the first time in months only to yell at what a disgrace I was and mom just cried softly. Sam’s stims has been worse but if you ask him medical questions he calms down.” Cas rubbed a tired hand over his eyes. Dean was still quiet and frozen next to him. “What are you thinking?”

“That I really wish you hadn’t said panties.” Cas’s heart broke, this was it. The end. Dean was disgusted with him just like their father.

“Oh, well ok,” Cas trembled out a few tears and looked at his hands and then jumped when one large hand covered his fingers and another turned his face so Dean could look at him.

“Because when you say panties,” Dean pushed so they could lay on the bed and Cas’s eyes were wide with shock when he felt that Dean was _rock_ hard. “All I want to do is shove my head under that pretty skirt and take you in my mouth through those panties.” He growled into a kiss and Cas couldn’t believe it. He’d spent months living with the fact that he was a freak and here he was turning Dean all kinds of crazy.

“Dean,” he whispered. “We can’t.” Dean pulled away with a whine and sat up.

“I know, just don’t…don’t tell me about panties until I can rip your clothes off.” Cas was still laying and looking disbelieving, Dean read his boyfriend and leaned back down so his hands were on either side of Cas’s head. “You remember Rhonda Hurley?”

“Vaguely, didn’t you two go out…”

“Sophomore year,” Dean leaned just a bit more into Cas’s space, “She made me try on her panties.” Dean dipped down even more until his lips were brushing his boyfriend’s ear. “And I fucking _loved_ them. Made me want to pick up a few pairs myself,” Cas shuddered and tried to reach out for Dean. The man pulled away, his eyes lit with green, smirking fire. “Nope, we can’t not here.”

“Dean…” Cas whined.

“Hey now you know how I feel, looking at you with that skirt and makeup and hearing you talk about panties.” He grabbed his crotch and rubbed. “At least I can hide mine,” his eyes raked down Cas’s body and they both saw Cas standing tall in the grey fabric. “How do you deal with that?” Cas stood and readjusted. Dean smiled and went back to his suitcase. “So after they found the panties you stopped hiding?”

“Yeah,” Cas flopped back on Dean’s bed taking one of his boyfriend’s textbooks and flipping through. “I just said fuck it, there was no going back after they found the thong so I might as well at least dress the way I felt like.” Dean had frozen again. “Oh I’m sorry,” Cas stage whispered and looked in wide eyes. “I forgot I wasn’t supposed to say…”

“Thong?” Dean bit out harshly.

“Go big or go home,” Cas quirked an eyebrow and Dean surged forward. He kissed and kissed hard and his hands scrambled to pull up the maxi skirt. “Hey,” Cas pushed, though he was forgetting very quickly every reason why he was pushing away. “Come on, Sam is right there,” he whispered and that woke them enough.

“Stop talking about your underwear,” Dean said harshly and Cas knew to stop the tease.

“So I registered yesterday,” he readjusted his skirt and switched the subject and Dean’s shoulder’s eased. “I decided to get rid of all my generals right away so then I can focus on architecture.” Dean smiled.

“And I can’t wait to tell you everything I learned at this camp.” Dean was practically bouncing, he threw the last of his laundry down and held Cas’s hands out. “But I wanted you to be the first to know: I chose a field.” He watched as his best friend’s face broke into a beam made of sunshine. All the pain of the last few months had been washed away.

“That’s fantastic!”

“Yeah I’m going to be an automotive engineer.” Dean was giddy and bouncing, he was so excited about his future and what he was going to do and his work, he already had so many ideas. Cas got up and spun him in his arms. They danced around the small room a bit laughing and smiling.

“That is fantastic, I’m so happy for you!” Cas beamed. “How did you figure it out, tell me everything.” He hung on Dean’s every word and his happiness for his partner was palpable. It was the same way Dean felt when he listened to Cas go on and on about designing buildings.

“Is this happy?” Sam poked his head in and Dean came up to him.

“Can we hug?” Sam nodded and Dean pulled him into a bear hug. “I chose my specialty, Sammy, I’m going to be an automotive engineer.” Sam pulled back and smiled. He then hugged his brother again and nodded.

“That is happy,” he looked proud he knew the emotion. “I am happy you have chosen your field. And Cas has chosen to be like Frank Lloyd Wright. And I am going to be a general surgeon.” They all smiled. Sam seemed so at ease and Cas just felt joyful that his two best friends were happy.

“Boys, dinner!” and just like that Sam’s shoulders tensed and Cas’s stomach did a bad flip. Dean noticed and was at a loss how to help. He followed behind the two boys, who just a second ago seemed so happy and carefree. Now it just looked like they were about to go in for a root canal.

Naomi had meatloaf and mashed potatoes on the table and John was sitting looking at his plate. He looked up once and saw Cas’s skirt was still on and scowled back down at his place setting. Dean sighed and tried to keep his words in check as he sat next to his boyfriend. Under the tablecloth he felt a hand nudge his knee and he casually dropped his hand down so their fingers could brush.

Dinner was full of questions trying to break the tension. Naomi was falsely cheerful asking Dean mostly the same things she had been in the car.

“And are you excited for your new clas—”

“That’s it,” John threw his fork down. He’d been silently eating, but his anger was building and everyone could feel it. “I have a question for you Dean.”

“John…”

“Naomi, I have been living under this roof for the past few months feeling like I have no power or say over anything so I’m going to ask a damn question.” Dean looked at his father but he could feel Cas had frozen staring hard at his peas next to him. “What do you think about makeup?” the entire table was stone still. Everyone except Sam who was digging his nails into his arm and rocking.

“I think if it makes the person happy then they should feel free to do whatever they wish.”

“And if it’s a boy?”

“Again if it makes him happy he should be allowed to do what makes him _happy_.”

“What about clothes?” John leaned in closer and Cas ducked his head behind Dean’s shoulder. “How would you feel if your roommate came home in a dress?” Dean was the dream boy in John’s eyes. The older man was able to forgive the bisexuality because Dean was a _man_. He wore plaid and fixed cars and watched sports. If Cas was expected to change his ways Dean would be the one, John hoped, who could change him.

“My roommate is free to do whatever they wish,” Dean started, ice was creeping in his voice. “If Benny wanted to come home in a dress I wouldn’t stop them.”

“But he’s a man!”

“Benny isn’t a man,” Dean stated firmly. “Benny has no gender, but even if they were a man if a dress or skirt or makeup made them happy then I’m not going to stop them.” He brushed Cas’s knee under the table and he felt Cas relax.

“What about _panties_?” John started cruelly and Cas looked like he’d been hit by lightning. His shoulders slumped and Sam couldn’t take it anymore.

“I don’t want you to come!” he yelled and they all looked at him. A small amount of blood was on his arm and under his nails but he didn’t notice as he kept scraping. “I can’t stand you! I don’t want you to drive me to Boston! You are so terrible to Castiel and Castiel is my brother and I hate you every time you speak to him!” He stood and threw his plate on the floor. “I hate you!” With that he ran to his room and they heard the door slam.

“Do you feel the same?” John turned on Dean. “Do you think we’re being too hard on him?” Dean looked over and Cas was still staring at his peas.

“Do they always talk like this? Like you’re not in the room?” Cas just stared at his plate but fingers under the table brushed Dean and the man got his answer.

“Yes.” He turned to both his parents. “Yes, I agree with Sam. Who the hell cares how Cas dresses or what he likes? If it makes him happy and he’s not hurting anyone who cares?”

“That’s it,” John threw his napkin down and stalked towards the garage. “Take the damn RV I’m not going. I’m not going to be stuck on the road for a month having to look at _that_.” Cas trembled at the yell and ran away. Dean and Naomi were left at the table just looking at the half eaten plates.

“Do you feel the same?” Dean looked at his mother, a woman who came into his life when he was nine, the woman who had become his mother when he’d entirely forgotten what that felt like, and her face looked sad and uncertain.

“I don’t…I know it makes him happy but does he…” Dean waited his lips thinning. “Does he have to dress like that in public? Can’t it be fine if he just dresses like that in his room? Couldn’t that be enough?”

“Mom,” Dean sighed. “What if society hated yellow,” Naomi looked down at her yellow shirt, it was her favorite color and he was always wearing something in the sunshine hue. “Would you be ok with only wearing yellow in the dark of your room? Because that’s what you’re telling him to do. You’re telling him that he has to hide who he is and what makes him happy. It’s like telling Sammy to not be so autistic outside the house.” Naomi looked up in horror.

“Sam can’t help his autism, that’s who he is.”

“It’s who Cas is too, mom.” Dean got up and started cleaning up the shattered plate and then took the leftover food to the kitchen.

“I don’t think I will come with you.” Naomi said quietly, she took over the food and clean up. “I will stay with your father.”

“Are you even going to try and make it right with him?”

“Do you think he’d change?” Naomi had a small spark of hope in her eyes. “Do you think if we talked and said we were ok with him…dressing like that…in private that he would change in public?” Dean sighed heavily.

“No. Because no matter what you’ll say I’ll be right there telling him he can dress and act however he wants.” Dean leaned in and looked hard at his mother. “He is an amazing person and he shouldn’t have to hide one single part of himself.” With that Dean stalked off to his room.

Cas was in a small ball on Dean’s bed and when Dean petted his hair Cas’s voice came out impossibly small.

“Go check on Sam.”

“Sammy? Can I come in?” Dean knocked on the door three times and the door opened instantly.

“They aren’t coming.” Sam’s lips were in a thin line. “Castiel is upset and they did that. They aren’t coming.”

“I know,” Dean said, “I talked to them. We’re leaving tomorrow. You, me, and Cas.”

“You mean you, Cas, and I.” Dean scoffed.

“You becoming a doctor or English teacher?” Sam rolled his eyes.

“Doctor,” he paused. “Thank you.” He was about to shut his door when Dean pointed at his arm. There was a long patch of gauze on it.

“You ok? You want me to look at it?” Sam gave him a dry look. “Ok, ok,” Dean smiled. “Future doctor knows what’s best. What time do you want to leave tomorrow?”

“Seven. Dean?” the older brother had started to walk away but he turned. “I won’t come into your room tonight.” Sam looked at his feet and then closed the door swiftly.

Cas was still in a tight ball when Dean came back into the room. Dean didn’t wait to be invited or undress but just curled himself around his boyfriend and wrapped his arms tight around Cas’s stomach. He felt the continuing sobs wracking Cas’s body and he just held his best friend through it. Cas had been crying into the pillow ever since he’d run up here and now he cried harder because this was Dean and not his mother. He loved Dean and he was happy (when he’d be able to feel happiness again) that Dean accepted him and was there loving him, but he wanted his mommy. He wanted his mother to kiss his forehead and run her hands through his hair and tell him she loved him and everything was going to be ok.

But his mother wasn’t going to come up here.

Because it wasn’t ok with her. It wasn’t ok that Cas was a transvestite. It wasn’t ok that Cas preferred to dress like a woman or wear makeup or lacy thongs. It wasn’t ok that these clothes made Cas feel perfect and joyous. None of it was ok.

So he cried that his mother wasn’t going to be the one to ever take care of him again.

“Shhh,” Dean rubbed Cas’s stomach and wrapped his legs around the curled ones. “Shh, I’m here, I love you sweetheart.” Cas sniffed hard and then cried a bit more until he fell asleep.

 


	7. Chapter 7

Dean woke with a start when he heard a box drop on the floor next to the bed.

“Sorry!” Cas looked terrified but Dean just smiled at him.

“What’re you doing sweetheart?” Cas came over and kissed his sleepy boyfriend. He looked amazing, refreshed, still a little red under the eyes, but he was smiling.

“I’m packing.” He whispered. “Sam told me it was just going to be us three so I thought why not pack the RV and then I’ll never have to come back here.”

“Great plan, but we’re headed in the wrong direction.”

“Mm,” Cas sat next to Dean just so it was easier to kiss the still lying man. “Yes, but that is where I called Benny, they’re going to be in Chicago so we’re going to meet them there and they’re going to take my stuff to the apartment.” He kissed Dean softly again. “So I talked with Sam and we’re going to make a slight detour but he’s busy charting, if we take turns driving we should be able to still make it to his camp on time. He planned us to be there three days early anyway.”

“So he’s ok with the change of plans?”

“He’s working it through. He is so much more relaxed knowing mom and dad aren’t coming. And he’s fascinated by Benny so you should warn them.” Cas kissed his boyfriend again. “I have to pack.”

“What time is it?”

“Five-thirty,” Cas looked worried, “Oh no, go back to sleep,” he tried to push Dean down but Dean just smiled at him.

“Hey, sweetheart I’m already up, might as well make myself useful.” Cas ducked his head and kissed again.

“When we get out of here and drop Sam off I am going to have the biggest surprise for you.” Dean smiled.

“Is it a fashion show?” He breathed and Cas zipped his lips.

“I promised I wouldn’t tell.” He grabbed another box and lifted it. Dean stretched his clothes still the same from yesterday. He was glad he didn’t have much laundry to do, but they were going to have to stop at a laundromat sometime along their trip.

At six all of Cas’s things were packed away and the five backpacks stuffed with textbooks of Sam’s were loaded on too. Dean asked if the boy remembered to pack clothes and not just books and withered under the stare.

“Yes, Dean I have a checklist.” He waved the paper and then went into the RV.

Their parents didn’t come out and say goodbye. Cas did catch a glimpse of Naomi in the window and he waved but she didn’t respond. They did find an envelope full of cash in one of the cup holders with Naomi’s neat “I’m sorry,” written on it.

Sam buried himself in a textbook while Dean drove and Cas sat in the front seat doodling in his sketchbook. They talked and laughed and with every mile all three felt the tension ease away from them. After a few hours Cas fell asleep promising he would take the next shift of driving after a half hour nap.

They traded off with about three hours before they hit Chicago. Cas switched with Dean and the man eased himself on the long couch and Sam took Cas’s place.

“Castiel?” Sam looked back and saw their brother was fast asleep. “I have something to tell you.”

“Ok.”

“I learned something, Jess taught me something.” Cas inwardly took in a breath. Sam told him everything about Jess, exactly what they did and didn’t do, how Sam felt (yes even _down there_ Sam held nothing back) about his girlfriend, and Cas always tried to answer the questions the boy had with as little awkwardness as he could. “Jess taught me you there are different living togethers.” Sam was cautious, “She said there is live together roommates and live together not roommates.”

“Ok…”

“Jess and I are going to live together not roommates after I graduate.” Sam said in a rush. He was smiling but his fingers were getting close to his arm.

“That’s great, Sammy, are you nervous?” Sam nodded. “Well that’s ok.” Cas assured.

“But what if, when I have my…what if I need my fish, will she know?”

“Does she know already?” Sam looked confused. “When you need a moment or you’re feeling the world closing in, or you feel you need your fish does she push you or force you so you’re more uncomfortable?” Sam shook his head.

“When we went to the restaurant where I said I wanted to be living together not roommates a car backfired outside I was scared and I shut down. She stayed with me.” Sam’s eyes softened. “I was able to calm down when I smelled her perfume.”

“Then I think living together not roommates is a great idea.” Sam nodded and started looking at another textbook.

“Castiel?”

“Yeah?”

“When you leave for college…you and Dean will be living together.”

“Yeah."

“Not roommates.” Cas looked at Sam and then flicked his eyes back to Dean’s sleeping form.

“When did you figure it out?”

“The day after that boy…Michael. You were ashamed and Dean cured that. Every time you’re around Dean you are happier. You smiled for the first time in three months when you saw him at the airport.”

“That’s not true I smiled!”

“Fake smiles.” Cas looked down the road and thought of Dean and how he didn’t have to hide from his brother and second closest friend anymore. “That isn’t fake.”

“Yes, Sam, when I move to college Dean and I will be living together not roommates.” He saw Sam nod in the corner of his eye.

“He loves you, and you love him. Like I love Jess and she loves me.”

“Yeah,” Cas smiled again and he felt his brother’s happiness. The conversation over Sam started asking hundreds of questions about Benny and Cas tried to answer them all.

“How should I shake their hand?” Sam worried.

“You can just shake their hand, like anyone else.” Sam started rocking and tugging at his sweater hard. “Sam, Benny is just a person like everyone else. You know how you hate when people treat you different because of your autism?” Sam nodded. “Well Benny hates that too, but you know how you like when people ask questions and find out what you like and treat you like a person?” Sam nodded again. “Benny is just like that. You two are the same.” Sam quieted and Cas said nothing more as he started to navigate his way into the city and he gave his brother the time to think.

They met Benny at a parking garage connected to a large mall looking over the skyline. The being had a giant U-Haul and they whistled when Cas pulled up next to them.

“Damn, sugar, that thing is bigger than our apartment building.” Cas smiled and hugged the being and they laughed looking back at the RV. “You look puny inside it.” They joked and Cas hit them on the shoulder. “So where is everyone, or are you traveling on your lonesome?”

“Dean’s asleep and Sam is going through his routine getting ready to meet you.” Cas pulled his aviators off. “I’ll warn you he’s nervous. He’s never met an agendered person before.” Benny nodded. “He might wait for Dean to come out, it may take a while but he wants to meet you.”

“That’s ok, sugar, I have all day.”

“You know I don’t know how comfortable I am with you calling my boyfriend sugar,” Dean came up and held Benny down, giving them a noogie.

“Calm down, princess, he may know I’m the better person but for some reason he made the stupid decision to be with you.” Cas laughed and shrugged.

“That is true, Dean, Benny though I do have to tell you I am thoroughly addicted to sex.”

“Now that’s your loss, sugar.” Benny laughed and they all talked for a while. They did notice when the door opened and Sam stood with this back to the RV taking in Benny.

“Let him come up to you,” Cas said softly and they just continued to talk as Sam made his way slowly up to them.

“Hello I am Sam, Castiel and Dean’s brother. I’ve never met an agender before though I thought I was asexual before I met my girlfriend, now I learned I am demisexual. That means I only feel sexual attraction to someone I have a romantic connection to.” He said all this in what seemed like one breath and Benny was surprised. But Dean and Cas didn’t seem bothered so they held their hand out.

“Nice to meet you Sam,” Sam regarded the hand and looked to Cas. His brother just raised his eyebrows.

“You are a person just like me.” Sam reached out and grabbed the hand and shook it.

“So your brothers tell me you’re going to be a surgeon?” Sam nodded and Dean looked at his boyfriend, Sam never took this well to another person, huh.

They took a few steps back and let the two get to know one another. Cas watched as his brother asked hundreds of questions that Benny answered easily and happily.

“I should tell you Sam is onto us.” Cas whispered and Dean’s eyes went wide.

“What? Did you tell him?”

“No! He just asked me if we were going to live together not roommates and then he said he knew from the night Michael was at the house.” Dean whistled. “No,” Cas already knew the thought forming in Dean’s mind. “No, we are not going to have sex just because he knows. He also gets the big bed, he’s wanted that for ages.” Cas leaned in just a bit more, “If you agree then you will be rewarded far more than just a simple _fashion show_.” Dean opened and closed his mouth but before his brain could start using the blood that was rushing to his shaft his name was being called.

“Dean! We’re going to lunch!” Benny smirked at the couple, they knew exactly what Cas and Dean were up to. Sam nodded eagerly and the couple just had to nod. They locked up the RV and U-Haul and went down to the food court.

Sam still had hundreds of questions and to their credit Benny didn’t seem to be tiring at all.

“Will you fall in love?”

“Yes, I think with the right person who understands me I’ll fall in love.”

“Do you like tomatoes?”

“No, never have.”

“Do all agendered people not like tomatoes?”

“I think it’s just a me thing,” Benny smiled.

“Oh. Why do you want to be an engineer?”

“Sam might not let Benny leave,” Dean whispered as they watched the interaction.

“He’s found someone who he can relate to, so many people have their own idea what autism is, it must be nice for him to meet someone who has the same stigmas against them and they’re willing to answer questions and talk about themselves openly. Hey!” he smacked Dean’s hand as it reached for his pizza. “That’s mine!”  

“Well thanks for this Benny,” Cas hugged them after they were done loading up the truck. All of Benny’s things were in the truck too.

“Yeah, hey,” Sam was back in the RV going over the drive schedule with Dean. “How has it been with your parents? Dean hasn’t mentioned much the last few months and this is a whole lot of stuff, did you move out?”

“Yeah,” Cas looked in understanding eyes. “They had a hard time with this,” he gestured to himself, he was wearing another maxi skirt and tank top. “I…there was a huge fight last night.” Benny smiled and lay a warm hand on his shoulder.

“I’m sorry,” they said looking down. “I, um, did the same.” They pointed to the U-Haul. “I finally talked with my parents and, well there was shouting and me leaving.”

“I’m sorry.” They both nodded and hugged.

“Hey have a great vacation, go see the ocean and be all sexual with Dean,” Benny laughed. “And remember you owe me five for this.”

“Five!”

“Five, I’m unloading all this shit for you.”

“Fine,” Cas rolled his eyes, “You and Dean have a serious addiction, I think you need counseling.” Benny laughed and then waved off.

“I liked them.” Sam said cheerfully. “We have another three hundred miles to go and then an extra fifty tomorrow and we’ll be back on schedule.” Dean was already behind the wheel, and because Sam already knew and Cas couldn’t deny himself, he kissed him softly.

“You take first shift and I’ll do second?”

“Fine by me,” Dean beamed.

***

The drive was uneventful but a whole lot of fun. Sam got the big bedroom in the back and the boy was speechless with joy for a while as he just lay on the mattress. Cas and Dean had to sleep in separate bunks but neither minded. Especially when Cas curled on Dean the last morning before they dropped Sam off and they dry humped their morning wood away.

After four hours of driving Sam was nearly jumping in his seat. Seeing the sign for Boston made him go crazy and he was bouncing when they finally pulled on to the University Campus. The medical school granted only fifty applicants around the world to intern there for six weeks and Sam was one. He would be living in the dorms and working in a hospital.

Dean pulled the RV into a parking lot and then they started grabbing bags. They followed the signs, got Sam registered, and then went to his dorm. Before Cas and Dean entered they let Sam walk in and run his fingers around the edges of the room four times. Sam tested everything out and then looked on with a nervous energy. He lay on the floor and Cas set up his fish and they left him to get settled as they went and got more bags.

After four hours of settling Dean and Cas were practically pushed out the door.

“We’ll come back tomorrow for breakfast.” Sam wasn’t going to leave his room again, he needed time alone in the space and Cas and Dean understood. The people at the program also were understanding when Dean talked to them. They hadn’t placed Sam with a roommate and they were fine with letting him go at his own pace.

“As soon as you put him in a classroom or a dead body in front of him, he’ll be fine.” Dean smiled. “He just gets a bit overwhelmed when there’s a lot of people around. Is it ok if we come back tomorrow and walk him around and let him get used to everyone here?” The woman assured him it would be fine and Cas went back to Sam’s room.

“Sam,” he knocked on the door once, a signal they worked out a long time ago that just meant Cas wanted to say something and he wasn’t coming in. “Sam, Dean and I are going to the RV we’ll be back at eight for breakfast.”

“Seven.” Sam said.

“Ok, we’ll be back at seven for breakfast.”

“Thank you Castiel.”

“No problem. And we’ll have our phones so if you need us then we’ll be here. Meg is also going to come to breakfast with us, she’s a student like you and she’s going to be your lab partner. So we’re all going to get to know each other.” He heard a mumbled yes. He wanted to let Sam know so he had time to process the information. “Ok, goodnight, call or text if you need us.”

“Thank you Castiel.”

Dean was bouncing on the balls of his feet when Cas left the dorm room and found his boyfriend waiting outside.

“What are you in the mood for?” Cas absently looked at his phone, he wanted food more substantial than the McDonalds they’d been living off of. “Oooh there’s a Thai place just a block and a half away. Sam will love that.”

“Cas stop worrying,” Dean nosed him, “Come on, I’m horny.”

“And I’ll take care of you,” Cas still looked at his phone. “But I really think we should try out these places, just so we can tell him what’s good and what isn’t.”

“Cas,” Dean took his boyfriend’s phone away. “He’s a grownup, well he’s seventeen, but he’s going to be without us very soon. He knows what to do.”

“But what if he breaks down and no one knows how to help him…”

“Mother hen,” Dean said mildly, “He’ll tell them what he needs. He has to learn how to do that.” Cas sighed. “Now I will go to these places,” Dean waved Cas’s phone, “If you are actually hungry, but if you’re going only to scope out the place then forget it, I am far too horny to go on a food scavenger hunt. I’ll just jack off in the RV.” Cas smiled bashfully.

“Ok,” he slipped his hips together with his boyfriend’s. “Ok, you win. But I am actually hungry.”

“Thai it is,” Dean kissed Cas’s temple. “But we’re getting it to go. And we’re eating it together in the RV. Naked.”

“Mmm I agree,” Cas murmured and kissed his boyfriend. “Except for the last. I’m far too hungry and I’m not going to bother with food when you’re naked.”

“Fair enough, I’m far too attractive I know.” Cas laughed as they walked in the direction of the restaurant.

Dean tsked when Cas ordered eight different dishes to go, with rice, and opened his mouth to lecture.

“I am not moving that RV for at least two days,” Cas whispered, “So we are stocking up. We are going to stay naked and fuck and have leftovers.”

And Dean’s dick did a happy dance.

“Ooh this one is good,” Cas held out a piece of chicken on his chopsticks for Dean. They had managed to try a bit of everything and while Cas was in Dean’s lap straddling him their clothes had managed to stay on.

“That one is good, but I like the General Tso’s better.”

“You like spicy,” Cas made a face. “I liked the peanut chicken the best.”

“Mm-hmm,” Dean started rubbing Cas’s sides and kissing his neck. “I’m full sweetheart.”

“Are you,” Cas was breathy as he put his chopsticks and the white box down. “You don’t even have room for dessert?”

“No,” Dean opened his mouth and started licking at the base of Cas’s neck.

“Not even a fortune cookie?” Cas’s voice sounded odd and Dean pulled back, and his boyfriend had a half a cookie in his teeth. Dean smiled sluggishly and raised himself up to break off the other half. Cas pulled the fortune out and they fused their lips crunching the cookie between them.

“A great surprise awaits you,” he said with an inferno blazing behind his eyes. They rushed to put the food in the fridge and then Dean was pushed back on the large bed.

“Now I have two surprises for you.” Cas snaked away so he could stand at the end of the bed. He rubbed Dean’s jeaned thighs. “And you get to pick, top or bottom?” Dean looked a bit confused and the passion amped up when Cas ran his hands seductively over his tank top and skirt. “Top or bottom?” Dean considered it, the tank top his boyfriend was wearing was pretty tight so Dean doubted there was much of a surprise under there, but the skirt….now Dean had been wondering all day if there was _something_ under there.

“Bottom,” he dragged out and Cas smiled. He pulled Dean up so he was sitting and started to give him a lap dance. He pulled the skirt up and melted his back into Dean’s chest as he moved his ass and guided Dean’s hands to his hips. Dean’s breathing became ragged and hot as Cas backed away and slowly hooked his fingers in his waistband. He slowly eased his skirt down and Dean actually choked on his spit.

Powder blue satin.

Pearl white lace.

A cock that was hardening and poking out the top.

He licked his lips and Cas came back. The boy shorts were his favorite style, this one had lace cutting in and covering his hips while the satin covered his cock and ass. He loved the feel of them, how he felt in them, but that was nothing compared to how he loved the way Dean looked at him in them.

He came over and straddled Dean again, this time face to face and they grinded together.

“Oh fuck, you’re so fucking perfect,” Dean praised over and over.

“Mmm,” Cas tipped his chin back and got his boyfriend’s attention. “You must like them because you haven’t even asked for your second surprise.”

“Oh fuck,” Dean dragged out, he’d just gotten the courage to touch the satin and lace and he shivered in how amazing it felt. “What can be better than this?” his eyes were glued to the blue and white that he only felt Cas pull his top off.

“Maybe this?” Dean let one of his hands be guided to Cas’s chest and his eyes popped up when he felt the surprise.

Cas had both his nipples pierced.

“Holy fuck,” he breathed.

“You can’t…they’re still healing so you can’t take them in your mouth yet.” Both were just simple bars with studs, and Cas felt like he was walking on top of the world the way Dean was looking at him reverently.

“Did it hurt?”

“Yeah, but it was totally worth it.”

“Do they still hurt?”

“Mmm, if they’re pushed hard, the piercer said they’ll heal for six weeks before they can really, um, be played with.”

“And you got them…?”

“On my birthday,” Dean kept staring and rubbing his hands up and down Cas’s sides.

“Well I’m glad you can distract me with your panties for two weeks because I really want to suck you and see if I can get you to come.” Cas smiled.

“I really want to get my tongue pierced but mom and dad would have noticed.” Dean heard the longing in his voice and his mind went blank.

“How…” he stopped and closed his eyes. “How did I get so lucky to have you?” He looked up at blue eyes, blue eyes that had a sparkle grey brushed on the lids. “You are fucking perfect, and every time I leave you I think ‘that’s it he can’t get any more amazing,’ and then you find a way to make yourself even more perfect. When you left my dorm I saw your skirt and I thought there’s no way this dude can get even better. But then you go and become even more flawless.” Cas blushed.

“I’m not, you’re the perfect one.” Dean smiled softly.

“I think we’re gonna have to agree to disagree on this one.” He thinned his lips and then came to a conclusion in his head. “Ok let’s go.”

“What?”

“Let’s go get that tongue pierced.”

“What?!”

“Well knowing you, you’ve probably have done a crap ton of research and the healing time for a tongue piercing is…”

“Two weeks before French kissing or oral sex.”

“So we go get you pierced now then those,” he stared at the studded nipples again, “And you’re tongue will be ready to party. Then,” Dean wrapped his hands around satin. “We could…” he looked up a little nervously, “We could go down to New York and try some clubs.” He knew Cas had really wanted to try clubbing for a long time and while Seattle had a fair range there was nothing like what he heard of the places in New York. Cas’s eyes went huge and he threw Dean back on the bed hugging hard.

“Ok, I think you want to go,” Dean laughed, “But I have two rules: one, you never let go of my hand, and two, you wear a sign that says “I fucking love my boyfriend”,” Cas laughed.

“Yes to the hand holding, no to the sign.”

“Fine but when we dance we’re gonna practically have sex.”

“I can’t argue with that.”

They found a tattoo and piercing place with a high reputation and Dean was enraptured by one of the drawings.

“Hey what would you think…if I got that?” he pointed and Cas’s eyes went wide.

“Then you better be prepared to be cold because I’m going to insist you never wear a shirt again.” Dean smiled bashfully and they entered.

So while Cas was getting pierced Dean was getting inked.

It wasn’t as painful as he thought, he’d always wanted to get a tattoo and now was the best reason possible. Cas had to wait for the piercer so he sat and talked with Dean and his tattoo artist for a while before he was called back. Dean could tell his best friend was nervous but also bouncing with excitement, Cas was finally getting to do something he’d been thinking about for a long time.

Dean finished up just as Cas was getting his aftercare instructions, which Dean listened to as if he were studying for a test.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So Sam's off and being all independent! To give you a preview/be a tease I will say that the next few chapters will be clubbing with the boys learning a new *couchsuperhotcough* and addicting kink!


	8. Chapter 8

“I think you should go topless.” Cas said from the bathroom.

“I think _you_ should go topless,” Dean said back, he pulled on dark jeans and then one of Cas’s red tank tops. He was more muscular than his boyfriend so the fabric stretched and Dean decided he liked that. The shirt also showed off the two black wings inked on his chest. He went into the bathroom and Cas looked on in approval. He was busy applying eyeliner and Dean didn’t bug him. He was too busy checking out his seriously hot-as-fuck boyfriend.

Cas was in a leather miniskirt and dark, thickly woven fishnets. The skirt was just short enough that Dean could see the bottom of the thick band of the garter belt and he had to swallow hard when he saw two black lines running neatly up the back of Cas’s muscular legs. Cas also had on a flannel of Dean’s tucked into his skirt not even buttoned. His studded nipples, that Dean had been very good and not played with, were shown off but Dean thought they could do better.

Cas moved from liner to shadow to mascara and when he was done he looked like sex in human form.

“We shouldn’t even go out, you need to have all your clothes ripped off now.” Dean kissed an exposed arm under a rolled up sleeve. Cas chuckled deeply and spun around.

“I’m far too hot to stay in,” he waved a brush. “You’re turn.” Dean sighed and sat on the toilet. He didn’t mind when Cas put makeup on him but it wasn’t about to be a daily thing for him. Fortunately Cas understood and only applied some sparkle to his eyelids and a bit of gold eyeliner.

“Wait, you aren’t perfect yet.” Dean pulled back on his boyfriend’s hand. He held out a small box. Cas opened it and saw two brand new nipple studs and a new tongue stud. He squeaked and pulled the bars out, replaced them and grinned looking at Dean. One nipple had wings through it and the other was silver with a small sapphire. The stud in his tongue sparkled blue and Dean looked a bit sheepish.

“Do you like them?”

“Well I like them so much I wish I wasn’t so hot that we could go to the bed and you could rip all my clothes off.” Cas kissed the palm of Dean’s hand. “Be that as it may I am hot and you’re _gorgeous_ and we have to show the world the perfection they’ve been missing out on.” Dean smiled and followed his lover out of the RV. They’d been in New York for a week touring the city and getting a feel for it. Cas loved the architecture and Dean went nuts over the cars and luxury of it all.

They hailed a cab and Cas being the research freak he was had already found a club he wanted to try out.

“I thought it would have been harder to get in,” Dean whispered, “Like lines and things,” but they’d just waited, Cas’s fake ID passed and they were in. The music was loud and there were men everywhere.

“Drinks?” Cas yelled and Dean nodded. They fell into a rhythm, they drank and they danced.

Well, “danced” it was more just grinding on the floor in time with music. But they fight right in because it seemed that was what everyone here was doing. Also it seemed Dean didn’t have to worry as it was incredibly clear that Cas was here with him. No one went after Cas and Dean was happy.

“I have to go to the bathroom,” they were both a bit drunk and Dean just nodded. “I want another one of those pink things,” Dean laughed at his dork of a best friend and went to the bar.

“Two pink things, um, cosmos,” he paid and waited.

“Hey you looked hot out there,” a man in his thirties walked up, he was good looking and if Dean hadn’t seen Cas before he would be considered hot. “Let me buy you a drink.”

“That’s ok, I already got these.”

“Pity,” the man leaned in and Dean was just drunk enough to feel kind of good that he was being so shamelessly flirted with. “So how long are you visiting New York?”

“How’d you know I was visiting?”

“Well I know of every gorgeous man in this city and I wasn’t informed of your existence so I know you must be visiting.” Dean laughed.

“My boyfriend and I are hanging around until our brother is done with school up in Boston.”

“Boyfriend…and you’re here with him. Happily?” The man looked sad.

“Yup.”

“Bummer for me,” they chatted for a while more and Cas came up not looking very happy.

“Ooh you must be Castiel, you are a treat.” The man flirted and Cas eased up. “Any chance of a party with the three of us?” the couple shook their heads. “This is not my night,” the man purred and waved.

“I thought you were flirting with him,” Cas sipped his drink.

“He was, but there’s this one guy I’ve had my eye on all night and he is so fucking irresistible that I couldn’t say yes to anyone right now.”

“Oh really,” Cas leaned in and straddled Dean, the sandy haired man’s hands coming to his leather clad ass to support him. “Tell me more about this guy.”

“Well his eyes are so fucking _blue_. I find myself only buying blue things for him just so they’ll bring out his eyes. And his hair…damn his hair is out of this world. And he has this thing where he’s just perfect.” Cas grinned and kissed his boyfriend hard. He slipped his tongue in and Dean froze as if he were electrocuted. This was the first time he’d felt that jewelry, Cas had been granted clean today but they were too busy getting ready to really play around.

But now… _damn_ it felt like something created by the gods. The stud rolled around in his mouth and Dean moaned shamelessly around it. Cas had always been a fucking amazing kisser and this just brought a completely new level to the game. They shifted slightly so Cas was comfortable and then he leaned in and really started eating face. His hands came up to Dean’s face and Dean rubbed all over the flannel until he could untuck it and get his fingers at his boyfriend’s skin. They forgot the entire world as they just ate one another down and reveled in the first real kiss they had since Dean’s dorm.

When they finally did break away there were loud cheers and they found they were surrounded by men.

“That was a kiss!” Someone cheered and they broke away. Cas rose a bit unsteadily from Dean’s arms and they turned so they could finish their drinks. The bartender poured them three rounds of different colored shots from different men around the bar and after the alcohol burned their throats Cas pressed himself on Dean and whispered drunkenly about sex. Now.

Somehow they made it back to the RV and drunkenly their clothes went flying. They kissed and laughed and it was _fun_.

***

Cas blinked wearily at the bright, bright, bright sun. Dean’s arm was around him and he felt sticky all over.

“Dean,” his throat was raspy but he really wanted to know what happened last night. He remembered the bar, and the kiss, but then it all was hazy after that.

“Hm—ohhhh,” the question turned into a groan as Dean too seemed as hungover as Cas. _Water_ Jo’s voice told him. Cas had drank before but never drunk and he remembered his friend’s advice. He got up and the world spun a bit as he made it to the bathroom and got a cup for both of them.

“Holy shit, it’s a good thing you love me,” he called softly. His hair was a mess and he looked like a raccoon. He found one of his fishnets in the sink but it didn’t really sink in. He went back to the bedroom and gently turned Dean on his back. “Hey come on, baby, this will help.”

Dean groaned again but took more sips. After he was sated Cas took his turn and sighed as the water took effect almost immediately.

“What happened last night?” Dean asked.

“So you don’t remember either?” Cas took a few more sips, made Dean finish the glass off and then crawled back in Dean’s arms.

“I remember getting here.” Cas shivered when he felt a hand feel his hole. “Yeah we had sex.” Cas smacked his boyfriend’s stomach.

“I could have told you that,” he mirrored his boyfriend just to be a tease and felt Dean’s cock and then tight (which was now extremely loose and messy) hole. “We had a lot of sex.”

“Mmm, I really hope I didn’t play with your nipples.” Dean murmured.

“Why?”

“Because after weeks of staring at those things I really wanted my first memory of touching them to be something I actually remembered.” Cas laughed.

“Well I’ve always heard that what cures a good hangover is excellent sex.”

“I’m always up for excellent sex, sweetheart. Nope,” he stopped Cas from straddling him. “I’ve been thinking of nothing but those damn piercings for a weeks.” He flipped them so Cas was on his back and Dean pulled the sheet away so he could look at his boyfriend’s flaccid cock. “No touching,” he commanded and Cas rested his hands playfully behind his head.

“Oh fuck Dean!” Cas had to fist at his own hair when his boyfriend took wings gently in his mouth. Cas had been always one for nipple play but now with those studs…holy fucking _damn_. Dean smirked around the nipple and looked down at the cock which had taken a great interest. Pink balls were tensing and already Dean could see Cas’s cock thickening. He continued to lick and suck slightly as he watched his favorite part of Cas going from his easy tan to shiny and pink.

He really got into it when he saw the cock struggle against Cas’s thigh and then swing up to lay heavily on his boyfriend’s navel. Dean could even see precum shining out but he was focused on his new toy. He wanted to see if he could get Cas standing free.

So he rolled the piercing around his tongue and Cas moaned loudly. His breathing was shallow and his hips thrust into the nothing air.

“Oh fuck, Dean please, please, baby.” Cas begged and Dean continued. The sensations were too much for Cas and he needed a reprieve. “Dean,” he cried and his boyfriend listened. “You are amazing,” Cas petted sandy hair, “But I’m still new to this…”

“Is it starting to hurt?”

“Just a little oversensitive,” Cas petted, “I just have to get more practice in.” Dean wiggled his eyebrows and then straddled his best friend.

“I am all for that,” Cas hissed as he felt himself be handled and nudge at Dean’s hole. “Even if I am pissed at you.”

“Why would you be pissed,” Cas breathed hard when he felt Dean slick him up with lube from the bottle that was half open on the bed.

“Because you know how I love to bottom and I was too drunk last night to remember. And you never top for me so you got me drunk so I wouldn’t remember.” They both moaned loud enough that the couple walking past in the RV park stopped and stared. Dean bottomed out and he watched as his sleepy dick woke up in an instant and was looking to party.

“I didn’t,” Cas choked and held on to the headboard ad Dean rode him hard. He circled his hips and threw his chest forward as he grabbed behind Cas’s thigh. His tattoo shone and Cas licked his lips, never had he see a more beautiful picture.

“Oh fuck Cas,” Dean tilted his head back, Cas rubbed his side his eyes glued to the bouncing cock rubbing his stomach. “You feel so fucking good,” Cas groaned as he felt his cock rotating around in Dean’s ass and he tried for the life of him to remember why they didn’t switch more often.

Dean stretched both his arms above his head and grabbed the cabinet above the bed and started thrusting and impaling himself like mad and Cas cried out. Dean no longer circled his hips but as he moved up and down he thrust forward and back in the empty air his shaft soaking Cas.

“Oh Dean,” Cas cried and he watched his boyfriend lose his mind. “Dean, I want to fuck you,” he cried and the man let go of the wood and fell forward kissing Cas hard. They moaned and screamed in each other’s mouth and Dean did a full body shudder when the tongue stud was in his mouth again. He didn’t even notice when Cas rolled them and started fucking in earnest, the kiss was that good.

He wrapped his legs around the back of his lover’s thighs, his orgasm so near that he couldn’t hold on very tight, and he held Cas’s sides as the man pounded into him. They never broke the kiss, but the bed did protest greatly. Everything was sturdy in the RV, that’s what it was built for, so when they felt the bed squeak they knew they were in hard core sex mode.

“Do you wanna come?” Dean asked between kisses and Cas had to think about it for a long time, his hips still moving at a blurring pace.

“Can I fuck you again?”

“Oh hell yeah,” Cas stuck his tongue out and Dean saw a flash of blue before he was swallowing it again. The brunet thrust faster and harder and clawed at the bed as he moaned. Dean reached around and flicked the studs and he felt hot cum filling him as Cas screamed. In his frantic thrusts he hit Dean’s abused prostate and the man was screaming with him.

“Holy shit, holy shit, holy shit, holy shit,” he yelled as Cas continued to move and fill him. He shot out a few more times as his partner slowed and continued to thrust gently. Their kiss eased until they were two tongues caressing and two lips massaging, Cas moved his hips softly about ten more times before they were both milked out and absolutely sated.

“Why do we not switch more often?” Dean nuzzled into Cas’s chest and they held one another.

“I have no idea.” Cas said honestly.

“I have an idea, you’re addicted to my cock sweetheart.” Cas chuckled and ran a hand through Dean’s hair.

“That is true.”

“So here’s a crazy idea.” Dean said after a good long while, they were still tangled and Dean was mesmerized by the gentle rise and fall of the sparkle on Cas’s chest. “I propose we stay in bed and have sex all day.”

“A very good idea,” Cas said, his voice full of sluggish happiness. “However I still feel like a bar and I think we have to break in that shower.”

“There is not enough room for shower sex,” Dean grumbled.

“I know that, but shower make out, plenty of space. Shower grinding, room galore. Shower hojos range to spare.”

“Well who can say no to that?” Dean joked and was up in a very good long instant. He tugged Cas’s hand and the man went with him and soon they were under hot water and Dean had the backs of Cas’s biceps in his arms holding them high as he kissed, inhaling the rod and ball in Cas’s tongue.

“Hey, wash first,” Cas commanded. “Then we’ll play as long as the hot water holds.” Dean rolled his eyes but he never could say no to Cas. They had fun washing one another and making mohawks and spikes.

“You’d look good with a Mohawk,” Cas commented as Dean had his arms up again and was kissing and sucking his neck like mad.

“Mmmm,” Dean couldn’t be bothered with anything now that he had delicious skin in his mouth.

“Yes, in red, or blue.” Cas moaned as Dean dropped one of his arms to play with his nipple and the other seductively moved up the length of Cas’s arm and their fingers twined together staying high above their heads. Dean turned his face just a little bit and took Cas mouth in his again and they pressed into one another and kissed until the water ran cold on them.

“Dude, how did we get undressed last night?” Dean giggled as they looked at the hurricane’s wake of their clothes. They found Dean’s tank top on the steering wheel. Cas’s leather skirt was on the dashboard and his garter belt was hanging from the lights.

“Damn, I really wanted you to see this,” Cas pouted and Dean wrapped his arms around his boyfriend.

“You could show me now,” he nuzzled wet hair. “I still haven’t seen your fashion show, sweetheart, we could stay in all day and you can be my model.” They sat back on the couch Cas in his favorite position of straddling Dean. “I’ll be yours.” Cas made a face.

“You want to wear my underwear?”

“What? Is that weird?” Cas nodded.

“Yeah, baby, it’s weird. You can wear panties all you want, but you aren’t wearing mine.”

“Fine,” Dean huffed and ran his hands along Cas’s sides. “Then before you can have a fashion show I need to go shopping.”

“What?”

“Well,” all flirtation was gone and Dean looked a bit bashful. “When I saw those satin boy shorts you were wearing I got kind of…”

“Horny, I know,” Cas smiled and kissed lightly.

“No,” Dean looked straight in Cas’s eye. “Jealous. I wanted to wear panties too and since you won’t share…shopping.” Dean kissed the underside of Cas’s jaw and the man looked down at him. “Come on, how often is your boyfriend going to say let’s go to Victoria’s Secret? Oh wait that’s a bad question I’m going to want to go to Victoria’s Secret a whole damn lot.” He smiled goofily but Cas was just looking at him, a squinty serious look.

“I think I know how you feel when I said I wanted my tongue pierced, or when I showed you my nipples.”

“You think I’m perfect?” Dean started to tease but Cas kissed the smirk off his face.

“I’ve always thought you were perfect, I just didn’t know your perfection could be improved upon.” Dean blushed and he pushed at Cas to get dressed. They called a cab and as they were outside waiting two men came out of the RV next to them.

“We had to introduce ourselves,” one said as Dean and Cas just looked a bit confused. “We’re huge fans.”

“Dude what did we do last night?” Dean whispered and the other man smirked.

“You kept half the RV park up, and then this morning…Don’t apologize,” they said quickly as the couple blanched. “You’re young and hot and can’t get enough of one another, we understand, we just wanted to say thank you. we’ve been coming to this park every summer for ten years and this is the first entertainment we’ve gotten.”

“So you could, hear us?”

“Oh honey,” one of the men dripped, “You left your window open,” he pointed and Dean hid himself in Cas’s shoulder. “We just wanted to say we’re fans and keep up the good work!” They waved off and Dean and Cas got into the cab that pulled up.

“Well that was super fun,” Dean rolled his eyes and Cas laughed.

“Hey come on, we’ll close the window and blinds and have our fashion show. Forget everyone outside.” They paid the cabbie and walked around Manhattan for a while, Cas found an art store and got more sketchbooks and pencils.

“Wait till you see the place up from campus in Seattle,” Dean promised, he found some drafting pens and threw them on the pile. “It’s awesome, it’s where I got your desk.”

“I can’t wait.”

They agreed Victoria’s Secret had its name for a reason and split up when they got to the three story store.

“You already have a collection! I had to start from scratch!” Dean said indignantly as Cas quirked an eyebrow at his large bag.

They shopped for a while more, really they’d already done everything in the past week they were here as Cas’s piercings and Dean’s tattoo healed.

“Hey are we going to a club again?” Dean looked at Cas, his arm was around Cas’s shoulders as they walked down a street.

“I’d like to, why?”

“Give me one second,” Dean pushed the bags in Cas’s hands and ducked into a store. Five minutes later he was out and had a small bag in his hand. He refused to answer any of Cas’s questions and they found a cab and went back to their “home.”

The two men waved merrily at them and Dean and Cas waved awkwardly back. The men gave the thumbs up at the pink bags and Dean just shook his head and laughed.

“Hey!” One of the men called at Cas, Dean had already let himself into the RV and the younger man turned. “I was going to say earlier, if you’re interested in clubs…”

“Oh we’re…”

“Here on a church trip, honey I saw the way you were dressed last night,” the man smiled and Cas blushed.

“Yeah we’re thinking about going to the C-Club,” the man made a face.

“Oh no, go to Bed. Or…if you’re feeling a bit more adventurous there’s an exhibitionist club called Purgatory, you don’t have to participate but two young stallions like you would draw a crowd.”

“We caused a scene last night…” Cas blushed but was thrilled at the idea.

“Wait were you at La Merc?” Cas nodded. “That was you! Of course it was you!”

“Were you there?”

“Oh, honey no, we’re two old queens who just come here for shopping now, but I _heard_ about the twink and hunk who sucked face so hard it made the bartender wish he was gay.” Cas laughed.

“High praise.”

“You have no idea, men have been trying to get into his pants for years!” Cas laughed again. “You have to go to Purgatory.” He wrote the address down and Cas nodded.

“Um, thanks.”

“What did that guy want?” Dean called when Cas got inside and locked the door behind him. He pulled the shades from behind the cab so their world was closed off to outsiders.

“He was recommending clubs for us to go to. Hey what do you think of…” Cas swallowed hard when he looked up and saw Dean sitting his legs wide, lounging back in a chair wearing pink, satin panties.

“Think of…” Dean teased as Cas just looked at the tiny spot of wet in the center of the very tented panties.

“Exhibitionism.” Cas breathed. He pulled his tank top off and threw it behind him. “Sex for strangers,” he unzipped his yellow pencil skirt and shimmied out of it.

“Oh fuck, I’ll do whatever you ask just wear those again,” Dean moaned when he saw the black lace boy shorts. Cas turned slowly and Dean moaned even louder when he saw the way the fabric rose seductively up and cupped his boyfriend’s ass beautifully.

“Hmm, you like them?” Cas teased as he straddled Dean.

“I don’t know if panties were the way to go,” Dean moaned when Cas started rocking their hips together. The eighteen year old had a firm hand on the wall and the other on the back of the chair as he used the stability to really hump into Dean.

“Why?” his voice was overly innocent.

“I’m going to want to have sex all the time with you.” Dean brushed his hand down and felt the lace covering Cas’s strong muscles and moaned again.

“And that’s a bad thing…” Cas started panting as he shoved and pushed harder.

“Fine, but when we’re eighty and I’m chasing you around in my walker because you’re wearing a thong don’t blame me.” Dean moaned when Cas hit a sweet spot and he came all over in his panties. Cas too came, but it was from the one word Dean said. _Eighty_. He fell down on Dean’s chest and didn’t know if he should mention it.

“I love you,” Cas caught his breath and kissed Dean’s tattoo.

“You’re thinking about how I said eighty aren’t you?”

“What? No.” Dean laughed.

“Well, sorry sweetheart. You’re gonna be seeing me for a good long time.” Cas, knowing he couldn’t be seen curled in Dean’s chest, gave a tiny, happy smile.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aww sappy lovey shit! And ok I am totally team switch, I adore both bottom!dean and bottom!cas but wow there was just something about this chapter that really got me going! Let's just say the boys are going to be switching a whole lot more often.


	9. Chapter 9

“Dude you have to wear boyfriend sign if you’re going to go out like that.” Dean groaned as he watched Cas do up his makeup.

“What?” Cas looked down at himself. He liked this dress.

“What?!” Dean came up and cupped his boyfriend’s ass. “First off it barely covers you,” the tiny skirt went about enough to cover Cas’s junk and that was about it. It had extra sway to it so when Cas twirled, or moved his hips Dean caught flashes of the boy shorts Dean wanted to take off with his teeth. It was Cas’s fault for letting Dean see him before he put his dress on. The red lace was open at the hips and strapped together with four thin pieces of ribbon and every time that damn skirt moved Dean saw a flash of red. He snapped a strap again and Cas glared at him.

“Can you stop doing that?” he growled as he went back to picking out eyeshadow. Dean rolled his eyes and took in the rest of his boyfriend. Skirt aside the top of the dress was no better. It was really just two ribbons of fabric tied behind Cas’s neck and it was turning Dean all kinds of horny.

“Well I give up, I wash my hands of it.” Dean sighed as Cas was putting gold on his eyes again. Cas had gone for fierce this time, he had dark navy all around his eyes and even fake lashes and as he glared down in concentration at Dean the older man knew not to fuck with this man.

“Stop moving.” Cas commanded and Dean stilled. He was wearing his jeans and Cas’s black tank top again. “Done! Painless as always,” Dean looked up and had to just hold Cas’s hips for a second.

“Are you happy with me?” Cas frowned in question.

“What? Of course I am,” he made a move to go but Dean wouldn’t let him. “Dean…”

“I mean I’m nothing special, look at you,” Dean looked down at the amazingly beautiful dress and the makeup and the way Cas got his hair gelled and he looked at his simple self.

“Dean, in most of society you’re the normal looking one.”

“Plain,” Dean mumbled, “I don’t deserve to be near you.”

“Hey,” Cas sat gently on Dean’s thighs. “Hey you are drop dead gorgeous. We just have different fashion senses, trust me you’re not plain.” Dean nodded.

“You’re not perfect, yet.” He pulled another box out of his pocket and Cas went still as he opened it.

“Oh wow,” he said softly and he stood to put the jewelry on. They had to untie the top half of Cas’s dress and then Dean had to help clasp the chains behind Cas’s back as well. The chain was soft and a shimmering silver, it hooked behind Cas’s neck then down his chest and broke apart to rings in his nipples. Then it dipped down again and went around his waist. “This is beautiful.” Cas murmured. Then he stuck out his tongue and undid the blue stud in his tongue and switched it for silver

“You’re perfect.” Dean said and they walked out hand in hand.

“So, um,” Cas pushed his converse into the sidewalk. Dean was happy Cas had no interest in high heels, the dude had the legs for them and he would look sexy as fuck but Dean liked he was just a bit taller than his boyfriend. “Do you want to go to Noche or um…”

“I was thinking we could try Purgatory.” Dean looked a little apprehensively and Cas smiled.

“Yeah, me too.” They followed the address and found it was only a subway ride away so they caught the nearest and Cas held his head high when everyone stared at him.

“I have to say, you are probably my favorite person in the world.” Dean said reverently, “You have no fear.”

“Those people didn’t matter,” Cas looked down, “Now mom and dad…”

“Hey, they don’t matter either,” Dean raised Cas’s chin and kissed him. “Dude, are you wearing body glitter?” Cas smiled and shimmied his shoulders. He was shimmering in the dark light. “Fuck,” Dean dragged out and held Cas’s hand tightly, “You are going to absolutely kill me.” They found the entrance to Purgatory easily enough and there was far less of a line outside this club. It was a basement street entrance and Cas whispered about walking down into hell as they bouncer let them through.

“Oh you are fantastic,” the man behind the host station beamed at Cas. He took Dean in and his smile broadened. “Together?”

“Yes we’re together,” Dean said automatically and put his arm around Cas’s waist.

“Do you intend on staying together?” The man winked and sighed at the almost ferocious growl from Dean. “Relax! I’m just asking if you’re only playing together or if you want to play with someone else.”

“Just us,” Cas squeezed the hand on his hip.

“Pity.” The man sighed and gestured to them, “Wrists,” he tied white ribbons to their wrists. “The bar is just behind me, the beds are beyond that. You have bed…” he looked at a chart, “Eight, show starts at ten and another at eleven. If you want to just watch that’s fine you can leave your clothes at eight, and it’s amateur night tomorrow so if you like it you can come back and try the big bed. No pictures, recording, or video of any kind. Have fun,” he wagged his eyes.

Cas held Dean’s hand as they walked past the host station. They ordered a round of cosmos Cas’s new favorite drink and one that was growing on Dean as well.

“Well here goes,” Dean said as he downed the last of the alcohol and led Cas back. The beds were all in a circle around one huge bed. There were two rows of ten beds and there were couples filling half the beds there.

“Well it isn’t a gay club,” Cas said as he watched a man fuck slowly into a woman who was spread eagle. He tilted his head and watched as her breasts bounced with his thrusts and she winked at him.

He followed behind Dean and they found a bed with an eight sign hanging between the posts.

“You think you can have sex here?” Dean sat them on the edge of the bed. In the low light Cas’s white dress glowed and his skin sparkled as if he had eather running just under his skin. Dean was going to do whatever Cas was comfortable with but he really wanted to fuck and get Cas all sweaty and see that glitter really shine.

“Yeah, I just need to get used to it.” Cas whispered. A waiter walked up to them, or at least they thought he was a waiter all he wore was a bow tie.

“Anything I can get for you?”

“Um, two cosmos,” Cas said a bit shakily and the waiter’s eyes softened.

“Virgins?”

“What? No! We’ve had sex, a lot!” Dean said a bit too loudly.

“No, I mean virgins…here, virgins to exhibitionism?” Cas nodded and Dean took a calming breath. “Well alcohol helps, but not too much, you’re going to be so high tonight you won’t want to have alcohol fogging you up. Start with a position you’re familiar with, don’t try anything brand new because you’ll be self-conscious for a while. Wait for a few more couples to get here, don’t start anything too quick, you’re going to be coming a lot tonight so I recommend you pace yourselves. Then again,” he looked at their obviously youthful (and Cas’s teenage) faces. “You look like you have some stamina,” he winked. “I’ll be back with your drinks, do you need anything else? Condoms? Lube?”

“Oh lube, we need that.” The waiter winked.

“Back in two shakes of a lambs tail.” He stalked off and Cas watched his ass. The man and woman two beds away were coming to their orgasm and he was fascinated the way the man’s body shuddered and his ass quivered as he came.

“How about we get comfortable?” Dean took off his boots and Cas his converse and Dean patted his lap. Cas got into his favorite, familiar position and they did nothing more than kiss. Dean held on to his boyfriend’s naked back and Cas grabbed the straps of Dean’s tank top and they opened their mouths and _kissed_. Dean brought his hands up to Cas’s hair and tugged at it while Cas just held on to the black fabric and got a feel for Dean’s mouth with his piercing. He was getting better at it in his mouth, it still felt heavy and awkward but it drove Dean crazy and it did all sorts of things to him as well.

Like when it would catch on Dean’s teeth and sent tiny little pockets of pain wrapped in ecstasy. Or when Cas would roll it around in his boyfriend’s cheek and Dean would groan in his mouth.  Yes, this piercing was going to be _a lot_ of fun.

“Cas,” Dean tapped out and Cas blinked hard. “I gotta hit the head,” they were dazed for a second and Cas rolled off to kneel on the bed.

“See that’s what I’m talking about!” The waiter came back with their drinks and a small bottle of strawberry lube. He set them on a side table. “See you two have fantastic chemistry, more than half the people that come here are looking to spark their already dead romance, but you two…I have a feeling you two are going to be regulars whose sex is just as hot in a private room as here.” Cas blushed.

“He was my first, I haven’t slept with anyone but him and he’s amazing.”

“Honey you have it bad,” the waiter said, but he was smiling hard.

“I came today when he said we’d be together until we were eighty. I can hold off my orgasm but hearing him say when we’re eighty, I just couldn’t hold back.” He was lost in thought and looked up to the waiter beaming at him.

“Oh you have it bad, I’m happy for you two, I’ll keep an eye on you tonight.” He whisked away as two more couples entered the room. Cas took a sip of his drink and decided the waiter was right, there was no reason he needed alcohol, Dean was going to take care of him.

“Excuse me, I just love your dress.” The woman and man from before walked up totally nude.

“Oh thank you,” Cas set the drink down and stood. “A friend got it for me.”

“Excellent taste,” the woman sighed, “Oh that’s too bad honey,” she fingered the white ribbon on Cas’s wrist. “You sure you and your boyfriend don’t want to play with us?”

“Oh um, we’re sure, I enjoyed your show earlier…” the woman smiled like a cat.

“Oh that was just foreplay sugar, wait until the real fun begins.” They stalked back to their bed and Cas saw another couple walk in. So far he and Dean were the only two men, but there was a pair of lesbians one already topless and rolling on the bed.

“What did they want?” Dean yanked at his tank top and pulled it off.

“Oh to play with us,” Cas got back on his boyfriend’s lap.

“And did you tell her you were very, very, very, very, very, very gay, and very, very, very, very, very, very, very in love with your boyfriend?” Cas smiled and kissed the stupid face that he loved.

“Yes those were the first words out of my mouth, I’m thinking of having it as a recording it could be my ring tone.” He pushed lightly and they fell back on the bed. Dean laughed and ran his hands up Cas’s sides. “So apparently what they were doing earlier was foreplay.”

“Sex as foreplay?” Dean grinned, “I can get behind that.” He slipped his hand up under Cas’s skirt, not that it had very far to go the fabric was still far too short in Dean’s opinion and he snapped one of the bands on Cas’s hip.

“I told you to stop doing that,” Cas admonished and he started to kiss in punishment. Dean groaned into the stud and tried frantically to swallow it down as his hands pushed the white fabric of Cas’s dress away and get behind the red lace. He massaged ass cheeks and Cas trembled in his mouth. Just knowing that there might be someone watching got him leaking into his favorite pair of panties.

He sat back away from the kiss and fumbled to open Dean’s belt. It seemed his boyfriend liked feel rather than look because he was in another pair of panties, deep blue this time with a little black bow at the top.

“Fuck,” Cas dragged out and he swooped down to kiss the tip that was poking out of the satin. Dean groaned and petted his hair and Cas just kissed and licked. He pulled back enough so he could pull jeans down and when he did Dean looked at him with sheer hunger written on his face.

Maybe this skirt was too short…

Cas’s erection was poking out under it the red lace clearly visible as the white dress was shorter than his hard cock.

“Ok this skirt is too short.” He crawled back up Dean’s body as the man beamed lazily at him.

“Keep it forever.” They kissed and Cas jerked every time Dean gently tugged at the chain connecting his nipples. “But you know,” Dean said breathily. “Take it off.” Cas giggled and shimmied back on the bed. he grabbed the lube from between their undrunk drinks and tossed it to his best friend. He then untied the halter top and then shimmied it down his hips.

“Damn, fuck sweetheart, you’re too much,” Dean rubbed himself as Cas stood in just his red panties. He found a hanger behind their bed and walked back to hang his dress up.

“Dean I think I want to,” he gestured to the necklace and chains. “I think I want to take it off, it’s beautiful but I don’t want it getting caught.” Dean sat up and helped him out of it and Cas put the chains in Dean’s discarded jeans pocket for safe keeping.

“See I told you you’re perfect,” Cas came and straddled his reverent boyfriend. “You’re always going to have a pocket for my stuff.” Dean laughed but it was halfhearted, he was more interested in rubbing all of the skin that was glowing from the glitter. Cas raised himself up and he found there was a bar connecting the four posts around the bed which he could easily reach and stretch his body out. That was a good thought for later.

“Oh fuck sweetheart I want you to fuck my mouth,” Dean whispered and Cas thought maybe the bar would get used all night. He waddled up on his knees until he was straddling Dean’s face. Dean snapped the red ribbon again and Cas smacked his chest.

“Stop doing that!” Dean just rolled his eyes and gently rolled the lace down so he could free Cas’s cock. The brunet in turn grabbed a pillow and placed it under Dean’s head. What neither had noticed was that other than the lesbians every person in the room had stopped to watch them. Even the host had stepped away and was taking a casual, interested glace their way.

Dean didn’t notice any other person as Cas’s cock bounced free and he lay back on the pillow.

“Do you need another?” Dean shook his head no and then his eyes rolled back as he saw Cas take the bar above him and stretch his body out. Dean pushed the red tip into his mouth and guided Cas’s hips the first few thrusts.

There was a small gasp from their audience as Cas started moving faster and everyone (including the totally straight dudes who came with their wives and girlfriends to check out other naked chicks) were turned on.

The couple took no notice as Cas threw his head back and fell in love with the exquisite burn his body was stretching into. He looked down and Dean winked at him slapping his lace covered ass and Cas moved a little bit faster. He widened his thighs and cried out as his body was thrown into that moment where he knew he was going to come.

Dean took turns slapping and massaging the lacy ass as he looked up his boyfriend’s body. Cas was muscular and the stretch only served his sinews well. He looked like a statue or model one that artists could only dream of painting. The rings in his nipples moved ever so slightly in time with his thrusts, and Dean was right, when Cas started sweating his skin positively glowed.

“Dean,” Cas keened his head was still thrown back and as one hand slapped his ass another snaked up and Dean found the cool silver and Cas full on yelled out. He shook and Dean sucked in time with his thrusts and he felt white hotness coating his throat. Cas trembled and shook as the orgasm took him over and he shot out again and then again filling Dean’s mouth.

Dean sucked down the salty cum as he pulled off the shaft and swallowed hard. Cas fell back on the bed but rolled over instantly and yanked the soaked blue panties down. He hollowed his cheeks around the head and moaned obscenely as he swallowed and Dean’s tip hit the back of his throat. Dean fell back on the bed and went cross eyed in pleasure as Cas enthusiastically blew him.

And ohhhhh shit he’d forgotten the piercing.

He absolutely remembered it when it was pressing into his slit and he was screaming out Cas’s name.

He remembered it when it was rolling around the base of his cockhead and tracing his veins that pulsed hard.

He remembered it as he came all over Cas’s face before the young man had a chance to swallow him down. He shot at least four good spurts of cum and Cas closed his mouth around and caught jets two through four.

His shaft jerked like a tired puppy as Cas rolled off and caught his breath. They heard cheers and looked up stupidly to see at least twenty five people watching and clapping.

“I guess we have more fans.” Dean chuckled as he crawled to Cas’s side.

“Mmm, I guess,” Cas chuckled with and leaned down for a kiss.

“That was amazing, you two have to come back for amateur night tomorrow,” their waiter was back he had a bowl full of damp, warm towels and he handed one to Cas. “I can sign you up, please say you’ll be here I think you turned about four guys gay.” Cas looked at Dean.

“Sure?” Dean nodded slowly. “Sure,” Cas repeated to the waiter.

“Super, I’ll put you down for ten, that’s when we have our biggest crowd, and I’ll reserve a bed for you so you won’t have to wait in line.” Cas just had to giggle when he turned to Dean.

“Look at that, we’re porn stars,” Dean chuckled with him and pulled that stud in for a kiss.

“I could have told you that,” he pulled away, “Sweetheart, now I don’t care what you look like, but do you want your makeup to look perfect?” Cas tilted his head and Dean pointed to the wet towel in his hand that was half black from Cas’s eyeshadow.

“Shit, I’ll be back.”

In the bathroom Cas was upset about his makeup for all of thirty seconds. He was in a _sex_ club and there were people watching him and they liked what they saw. Easy to believe with Dean, the man was sex on a stick, but for Cas…

After months of being treated like a freak and disgusting and having every centimeter of his appearance judged for worse being desired and watched like he was was doing all kinds of good things for Cas.

He tried to salvage his makeup the best he could and ended with a nice smoky top rather than all over his eye and he decided that would have to do. At least the fake lashes had survived.

More people were around the bed and they all repeated their praise when Cas slid in next to Dean. They wandered back to their own beds when the couple politely refused to play, apparently the show was going to start very soon. Heavy petting noises sprung up around them and before Dean could join Cas stopped him for a second.

“Thank you for bringing me here,” Cas looked at his hands and Dean rubbed his naked skin. “I’ve changed so much in the past few months, I’ve always wanted to be like this and I always knew I would be wearing makeup and skirts and now it’s finally here and you’re here,” he looked up, “But I had to be in that house hearing all those words thrown at me and I thought maybe I was a freak, or maybe I should change. But then you brought me here and I feel so… _right_.” Dean smiled and kissed gently.

“As much as I love these,” he snapped a band. “It’s time to get out of them.”

“How many times do I have to tell you, stop doing that. I got them as a gift and I don’t know where Jo found them.”

“I don’t know how I feel about women giving you panties.” Dean stripped himself and found the lube. He was already half hard and he’d be ready to party once they got going.

“It was a white elephant, but she knew how much I liked stuff like that so she wanted to give it to me as a joke and not be weird about it.”

“Well still…” Dean thinned his lips.

“Dean Jo is pan, she was dating a bunch of men and women but I think she’s settled down with a trans-girl named Jody.”

“Oh, huh, well I guess I feel better.”

“Oh do you,” Cas looked at him dryly. “I’m glad I cleared that up for you, you know she knew about us? I told her all about you and then that Christmas you were stuck in Seattle was the one we had this party. The note said “Stuff Dean’s stocking with these.” Think she was still in it to bone me?” Dean rolled his eyes and sat up.

“Dude you said bone me,” he giggled and rubbed the fabric and lace down Cas’s legs.

“Shut up.” Cas moaned softly when fingers touched his hole gently. Dean found the lube and rubbed some on his fingers and opened Cas in just the perfect way that got the boy hard and moaning but also relaxed and pliant in his arms.

“I don’t want this one to be fast.” He said softly, “At least not at first.” He was sitting up and Cas came and straddled him. They wrapped their arms around backs and necks and when Dean slipped in past the ring of muscle they were fine just to kiss. They folded into one another and Dean rubbed all over Cas’s back as the young man wrapped his arms around Dean’s neck. They slowly rocked back and forth into each other the hot kiss consuming them totally.

In the back corners of his mind Cas knew they were being watched, he knew that they were raw and out in the open for everyone to see. But as Dean continued to kiss him he hardly could care. Dean’s hands were worshiping as they wrapped around his back and down his spine. Cas wrapped his arms as tight as they could around Dean’s neck one hand snaking up into hair and running his fingers through.

“You should grow your hair out,” he breathed, “Not a lot, but I want to feel it between my fingers.” Dean smiled and kissed again and Cas slowly started moving up and down but only by half inches, he really wanted to continue to kiss. the thick cock inside him was fucking _indescribable_ as it inched in and out and just filled him.

“I can’t,” Dean breathed and they fell back on the bed. Cas smiled and curled into his best friend’s chest and started licking all over the black wings. He curved his spine so he could take a nipple in his mouth and Dean panted hard. He pulled at Cas’s hair and watched as his boyfriend slowly popped off and made his way breathily up his chest.

“I’m sorry sweetheart,” Cas tilted his head. “I couldn’t stay up any longer, you felt so good and I had nothing to lean on,” Cas laughed and their kiss was full of light and smiles. Dean brought his feet up so he could cradle his boyfriend’s ass with his thighs and Cas moaned wantonly when he spread his legs just a bit further and the cock inside him shifted.

The sex this time wasn’t really fast or loud. They moved slowly in one another and it was the kissing that really brought them to their knees. It was just a bonus that Dean happened to be buried in his lover at the time.

Even after their orgasm they still lay chest to chest with Dean in Cas as long as he could before oversensitivity took him.

“That was incredible,” Cas breathed, his nose was plastered to Dean’s cheek and the man just wrapped his arms tighter around his best friend.

“I love you,” Dean petted brown, “Even if I do have to chase you in my walker when we’re eighty.” And this time Cas let his boyfriend see his beam.

They lost track of how many times they had sex in bed number eight. It seemed as soon as they were done, panting and sweating in each other’s arms they would look around at the eyes watching them or see other couples fucking and they’d be ready to party again. They never switched, but it was more that Dean was too distracted by Cas’s body shining with glitter and sweat to remember that he wanted to bottom.

After a face paced doggie, where the couple faced the room and their orgasm was the hardest of the night as they watched their fans, it was time to go to bed for real. All the couples were trickling out, but not before coming over to the tired men and offering their praise and promising to come tomorrow to see the big show.

Cas helped his shaky boyfriend up and sighed when Dean just pulled on his pants and pocketed the blue panties. Dean was about to take his red boy shorts when Cas stopped him.

“I have to wear them,” Dean quirked an eyebrow and Cas ruefully didn’t meet his eyes. “My skirt is too short if I don’t…” Dean had to hold on to their overused bed to keep from falling over he was laughing so hard. “It’s not that funny,” Cas crossed his arms as he glared at his idiot.

“It is a little sweetheart,” Dean wiped his eyes and handed the panties over. Cas pulled them up and then went over to his dress. When he’d put it on that night, hell even when he saw it on the rack when he was shopping, he thought he looked good. But now, feeling Dean’s sweat and cum in him and looking around at the beds that had watched _him_ …he felt fucking powerful. He felt like the world should fall at his feet and that there was not a single ounce wrong in him.

And looking at his sleepy boyfriend holding his converse out he couldn’t help but know that Dean had made this all happen. He was powerful because of Dean.

“Thank you,” he sat on the bed and started lacing up his sneakers.

As they were walking out a couple looked at them and glared before the woman shoved her way out the door first. Her partner followed but not without trying to kill them with his stare.

“What the hell?”

“Oh they’re pissed because no one paid attention to them tonight.” Their waiter came behind them in casual jeans and soft tee-shirt.

“I didn’t see them in the beds…” Cas tilted his head.

“No, they were the show,” the waiter tipped his eyebrows, “See you tomorrow.” He waved.

“Damn, I didn’t even realize a show was going on,” Dean slipped his arm around Cas. It might be summer but the night was cold and they both promised to bring jackets tomorrow.

As soon as they were in the RV they stripped to nothing and threw extra blankets on the bed.

“Dude we spent all night having sex and now you want to have more sex?” Dean teased as Cas’s fingers opened him up.

“Yes, you didn’t bottom.” Dean tilted his head.

“Fair enough.”

 


	10. Chapter 10

They spent the entire day in bed having sex. They ate occasionally but really it was all sex. Dean claimed it was because he was nervous about their debut tonight and he wanted the practice and Cas claimed that because they were naked they had to have sex. Well Dean did break and leave the bed when they were eating when he saw their neighbors out. Cas yelled at him to put clothes on so Dean grabbed the first thing he found which was one of Cas’s skirts. Cas watched them talk outside for a moment but then realized it was a fantastic opportunity to give Dean a bit of a fashion show.

“Sorry about that…” Dean’s voice died when he saw his lover laying on the bed wearing a black lace teddy. Thin strips of lace moved down his shoulders and stomach and connected to a few (it was charitable to call them strings) around Cas’s hips. Like a panther Cas stalked up to him and then slowly turned around and Dean nearly passed out seeing the neat thong riding up a tanned ass.

So they had a lot of sex.

“Hey we should get ready.” It was six thirty and after Dean had taken the teddy off with his teeth they had remained naked the rest of the day.

“We don’t have to be at the club until ten,” Cas held tighter. “I wanna stay here.”

“Oh ok, then I’ll cancel our dinner reservations.” Cas’s eyes went huge and Dean smiled. “I mean if you don’t want to go,” he teased as Cas was out of his arms and jumping around. “Oh and Louis, the guy next door, said this place is kind of fancy,” and Cas knocked him over with a tackling kiss. “But if you’d rather stay in,” Dean teased.

“Shut up,” Cas beamed between kisses.

They showered together just because it would be faster, though the time spent kissing probably would have equaled the time spent in separate showers but neither really focused on that.

“Ok,” Dean loved the look of confusion on his best friend’s face as he threw Cas’s suitcase on the bed. “Does that have everything you need?”

“Yes…”

“Good,” without a word Dean walked out and closed the door behind him with a soft, “Surprise me,” as he left.

Cas nervously went through his suitcase, he wanted sexy, but classy. Forcing Dean to live with a boner the rest of the night but also fancy. What he didn’t expect was a bag inside his suitcase with a note from his brother.

_Castiel, Dean said he wanted to take you to a fancy restaurant and I thought you would like this. I like how it sparkles and Jess helped me pick it out._

Dean played with his tie absently as he tried to read an article on air flow for front fenders but he couldn’t concentrate. Cas was right there on the other side of the door being impossibly beautiful and Dean, with his stupid idiotic mind, thought it would be better if they waited to see one another. Dumbass mind.

But when the door opened and his best friend stepped timidly out, all hatred toward his mind was forgotten.

Cas was in a soft gold dress that cut about four inches above his knee. The dress underneath was white and a simple sheath but it was covered in a see through sparkling champagne colored fabric. The sparkle went a bit lower than the sheath dress and above to boat neck leaving his shoulders bare and followed down his arms. When he moved he practically shone and Dean forgot what words were for a very long time.

Cas blushed, he thought he looked good, but Dean had stood instantly when he came out of the bedroom. His mouth opened and closed and Cas wondered if they were ever going to make it out of the RV before Dean figured out how to speak.

“Nice?” he asked his voice mirroring the soft sparkle.

“Fucking incredible.” Dean moved so he could tenderly hold his lover’s hip. “You are so beautiful.” Cas smiled bashfully.

“You look amazing,” he said as he took in Dean’s dress suit. It was cut to him perfectly and he looked like he could be on the cover of GQ.

“Aw, man I was holding out hope,” Dean sighed as Cas pulled on black strappy high heels. “I really wanted to be taller than you,” he huffed and Cas laughed. “Are you sure you’re ok with…” Dean played with the plain leather cuff that Cas had never taken off. “It’s not really fancy.”

“I don’t care.”

“Yeah but…it doesn’t really go with what you’re wearing…”

“Dean,” Cas came up and cupped his boyfriend’s face. With the shoes he was only a tiny bit taller than Dean so the man didn’t mind that much. “You could get me a diamond bracelet fancier than the Queen of England’s and I’ll still wear it right next to this cuff. You know why?”

“Why?”

“Because I was ready to give all this up. I was going to throw away my dresses and makeup and panties and I was going to be a man. I was so ashamed of what I was and what I let dad make me think I’d become that I was ready to stop being who I was. And then I pick you up at the airport and you saw me in makeup and a skirt and you still gave me this. You told me you loved me and that I was fine how I was. So I’m not getting rid of it.” Dean smiled timidly.

“Ok.”

***

“Wow,” they couldn’t stop looking at the sheer beauty of the restaurant. The modern chandelier cast a warm glow and Dean fell in love with his boyfriend all over again when the dude practically shone. They held hands and followed their fully clothed waiter to a table right next to the huge floor to ceiling window showing off the New York skyline. The sky scrapers were coming to life as the night dimmed and Cas looked on in wonder at the architecture of it all.

“Ooh this is good,” Cas smiled as he drank his sake and palm wine martini. He held it out for Dean to sip and the man nodded. They ordered and Dean lost himself in watching Cas take in all the buildings around him.

“So don’t look now,” he leaned in and Cas came closer as Dean whispered conspiratorially, “But you’re the most gorgeous person here.” Cas rolled his eyes and then oohed at the appetizer that was placed in front of him. “What did you get again?”

“Scallops,” Cas moaned around the first bite and then cut a piece for his boyfriend.

“Wow,” Dean smiled and looked down at his own. He’d ordered tuna tacos because they sounded interesting and looking at the way Cas was cutting his scallops he worried if it was ok he was going to eat with his hands.

All that worry went away when he took his first bite. The meat of the tuna was seared and the slaw on top was spicy and the small flatbreads they were wrapped in were warm.

“Dude, sweetheart,” Dean tore Cas’s attention away from his scallops and the buildings. Dean carefully held out a bite for his best friend and Cas groaned.

“That is fantastic, not as good as mine, but really good.” He winked and Dean rolled his eyes. They ate and Dean listened to Cas go on and on about the different buildings they could see and Dean admonished himself for not taking Cas to the Empire State Building.

“Dean?” their plates had been taken away and Cas sipped at his drink while looking out the window. “Could you…I mean I know I haven’t even started college yet, but could you…could we,” he looked at Dean, “Can you see us living here?”

“You mean where all the great food, and fashion, and clubs, and architecture is? Can I see us living here?”

“Yes,” Cas was timid.

“Absolutely,” Dean was firm. Cas looked, his eyes shining and didn’t say anything while the waiter set their main dishes in front of them.

“So you really went with a seafood theme?” Dean teased as he watched the love of his life cut up his lobster pasta. And it totally hit him. Cas was the love of his life. Awesome.

“I’ve never had lobster,” Cas was oblivious to the epiphany Dean was having. “Mmm, totally worth the wait,” his eyes rolled back and Dean just watched. “Hey you aren’t eating, isn’t that what you ordered?” Dean looked down at a steak he had no interest in.

“Yeah,” he cut into it and it was perfect. There was a dark sauce that was slightly bitter but matched the meat beautifully with mashed potatoes and some steamed carrots that Cas took instantly knowing from long experience how much Dean hated cooked carrots with a passion.

“Here,” Cas held his fork with a large piece of lobster and noodles wrapped around it. His palm was flat under it and Dean took a bite.

“That is good.” He smiled as he chewed and Cas raised an eyebrow. “What?”

“Sharing is caring,” the young man sing songed and Dean fell harder. He rolled his eyes and cut a chunk of steak off with some mashed potatoes. Cas popped it off his fork and chewed gratefully.

“That’s amazing.”

“Yeah,” Dean said weakly. He watched _the love of his life_ continue to eat, and he ate mechanically with him. The food was amazing but it had nothing on _the love of his life_. Then _the love of his life_ started talking, and _the love of his life_ was looking out the window, and _the love of his life_ was wondering where they could get an apartment and if it would be in a building like this. Cas had ceased to be a person, he was now the love of Dean’s life.

Their plates were cleared again and Dean just watched _the love of his freaking life_ go on and on about the history of the skyscraper.

“I’m boring you, I’m sorry!” Cas became self-conscious when he realized Dean hadn’t said anything in a very long time.

“You’re not,” Dean assured. “Far from it. I was just realizing something.” Cas was about to open his mouth and ask what when the waiter brought their desserts out.

“Holy shit, it’s too pretty to eat,” Cas mumbled as he looked down at the cheesecake. There was a strawberry sauce brushed on to the plate and fresh fruit adorned the dessert. He looked over at Dean’s which was a black upside down cupcake looking thing with caramel drizzled over the plate and ice cream on the side. “I should have done this with all the food!” Cas took his phone out and snapped a picture, then took about fifteen of the restaurant and twenty of the skyline they were sitting next to.

Then very carefully he took a tiny bite and his eyes rolled back.

“This is my favorite,” he grinned like a goofball and he looked at his still frozen boyfriend. “What? Did I get sauce on my face? Is it on my dress?” he looked down and then wiped his face and Dean just shook his head. Cas watched as his best friend turned to his cake and the second it was opened with Dean’s fork hot chocolate sauce gushed out. So that got pictures taken of it too.

“It’s a good thing I love you so much that I’m sharing,” Cas teased and he held his fork out. Dean took the bite and smiled appreciatively. He traded and Cas groaned around the molten lava cake. “We should come back here just for the desserts. Oooh I’ll do some research and find some places where we can to like a dessert tasting menu!” he was lost in his excitement and Dean fell harder. There was no hope for him, he might have started with the eighty and walker joke but now it was real. There was no way he was ever going to feel this way about another being on earth after Castiel.

When they were all done the waiter came over and informed them their tab had been taken care of by “Their next door neighbors.” The couple’s eyes went huge and they had a hard time figuring out how to say thank you.  

They left the restaurant and saw they had just enough time to get over to Purgatory.

“Oh shit we have to walk a bit,” Cas rubbed his stomach, “I am so full.” He moaned but he grabbed Dean’s hand and they wandered for a little while in silence.

“Oooh Dean! Rockefeller Center!” Cas was practically running, a feat which impressed Dean to no end as the dude was in heels, and he tugged Dean along. Well now was a good a time as any.

“You are the love of my life,” Dean wrapped his arms around Cas’s waist and pushed his chest into his boyfriend’s back. “There’s gonna be no one but you.”

“Dean,” Cas turned in his lover’s arms and kissed softly. “You are amazing and I am honored you fell in love with me,” he said quietly and Dean looked into deep blue eyes that had a nice silver shimmer around them. “And without a doubt it’s you. I’ll never be interested in anyone but you.” Dean sighed and held them tighter.

“We really need to get to Purgatory, I feel a strong need to take you apart.” They hailed a cab and were surprised at the large crowd waiting to go into the club.

“I guess amateur night really is popular,” Cas whispered. Dean nodded and placed a possessive hand on his back. Cas in turn wrapped his hand in equal possession around Dean’s hip and they went up to the bouncer. The remembered them from the night before, even he’d taken a peak in when the couple were 69ing it and his mouth had watered.

The host was the same and he was overjoyed to see them again too.

“Oh you two look like what everyone should look like!” He beamed and didn’t even ask but tied white ribbons to their wrists.

“Thanks we had dinner at Asiate.”

“Wow! That place is fantastic! Well you know the drill, you’re in bed four tonight. James is your waiter again and he’ll walk you through to get you ready for your show. I hope I can pop away, you two were _delicious_ last night.”

They passed the bar without even a glance and went into the darkened room. This time the beds were shoved even closer together as tables and chairs were everywhere between beds. Cas felt a shiver when they got to number four and saw tables and chairs flanking their bed. People would be sitting so close they’d be able to see the freckles on Dean’s ass.

And did that turn him on.

The beds were filling up everywhere and tables too. Their tables were still empty and Dean shot a challenging look.

“I think we should have a competition for our tables,” he stalked up to Cas until the young man’s back was flush against one of the posts. “Come on sweetheart, there should be fighting to get near us.” He hooked Cas’s legs under his arms and lent his strength to help the young man up. He smirked as one leg wrapped around his waist and the other pointed out sexily as Dean stopped paying attention to his boyfriend’s legs and started paying attention to the stud demanding entrance in his mouth.

They lapped at each other and moaned and Dean held his boyfriend up and Cas held on for dear life to Dean’s shoulders. He wrapped his arms around and gripped at the black fabric of Dean’s suit coat and groaned loudly around Dean’s tongue when strong hips started thrusting up.

“Oh fuck, Dean,” he keened when he felt a hickey being sucked on his jaw. Dean thrust faster and Cas opened his legs wider his feet starting to point in his high heels as he felt the beginnings of orgasm. “Dean,” Cas breathed, “I don’t want to come in this dress,” he moaned when the hips slowed until they were nothing but gentle rocking and their kiss matched it. When they broke apart they saw two smug couples sitting at either table and a few others looking disgruntled as they walked away.

They all said their hellos and then the young couple turned their attention to themselves.

“So why didn’t you want to come in this dress?” Dean turned Cas and his lips followed the zipper down.

“Sam bought it for me. He’s stocked two thirds of my closet actually,” Cas mused and Dean stopped.

“Really?”

“Yeah, as soon as I started wearing skirts and makeup he kept buying me more and more stuff. Jess told me when they first went shopping Sam insisted he had to buy me a dress because he saw how happy it made me and he wanted to make me happy.” Dean smiled. “He told me when we were driving out here that when mom and dad were pissed and yelling he wanted to kept getting me stuff, he said until you came back I needed someone in the family who was on my side because I was always on his hence the dresses and skirts and makeup. So I got him anatomy books which are equivalent in his mind.” Dean laughed and then resumed his unzipping and kissing.

“Damn, sweetheart,” Cas turned and smirked. He was laying on his stomach on the bed his feet still on the floor with his dress open.

“See something you like?” he teased and then moaned when a rough hand rubbed at the panties. The black lace this time was broken over his cleft and a series of ribbons crisscrossed over his ass. “I have it in red too,” and Dean lay over him to kiss.

“We need some foreplay, now.” Cas shimmied out of the dress and hung it again behind the bed but for now the heels would stay on. He felt power surging through his blood when the couple a scant three feet away raked in his body and stopped at the tented fabric of his panties. He handed a hanger to Dean and the man stripped down to his black silk briefs. Both got drunk on the gasps around them but before they could fall on the bed and fuse James rushed up to them.

“Sorry I didn’t want to interrupt but I wanted to take care of you before you really got into it!” they both smiled and sat on the bed. “I’m so happy to see you back! Your show will start at ten, and you have a forty five minute slot. I’ll come over and be sure you’re not too busy with each other,” he winked, “About half an hour before you go on. Any questions?”

“Can we get some water and lube?”

“Absolutely,” James was gone and Dean leaned over to capture his lover’s lips. They heard soft moans at the table in front of them and Dean smirked. He make the kiss louder, and heated and they heard shifting in the chairs next to them.

“Any requests,” Dean popped off and looked directly at the strangers.

“Oh fuck,” the man breathed, “Play with those studs.” Dean brought his hand up and rolled the sapphire in his fingers and Cas arched his back. Cas rolled his head on Dean’s shoulder his mouth hanging limply open as he breathed hard. They both were getting off these strangers desiring them and Dean was fine taking orders. He moved his face down and sipped the wings in his mouth as his hands still played with the other rod. He made sure to be gentler this time and Cas started rutting into the air as his palms lay flat on the bed holding them up. His arms shook but the heavy breathing and Dean’s slightly exaggerated sucking was all worth it.

“I don’t think they got a good peek at the back of your panties sweetheart,” Dean’s voice was dark like melted chocolate. He lay on his back and Cas straddled him his ass presented out at the table. They started grinding their silky fabrics together and Cas curled and moaned. Dean looked at his boyfriend and got even harder seeing the black strappy high heels were still on, ok seeing that was totally worth Cas being taller than him.

“Oh fuck Dean,” he latched on to his boyfriend’s neck as their cocks slid together and soaked black silk and lace.

“Cas I’m gonna, I’m gonna,” Dean threw his head back on the bed and warmth seeped between them. Cas nodded and rut faster and he shared his lover’s high. They lay glued together a while more before they started to slowly move.

“Is it ok that,” Dean looked down at his hands, “I wanna fuck, but I want our first…”

“To be up there,” Cas finished. “I feel the same baby.”  

“Do you mind?” Dean turned to the tables where eyes were glued to them. “We’ll just be kind of mild right now, but we will fuck.” The couple to the left seemed fine just to watch and the couple on the right which had been giving instructions both nodded too.

So they lay out long on the bed and just made out. Every now and then Dean would flick a nipple or Cas would let their audience see his tongue stud before it was swallowed by Dean and their fans were _thoroughly_ entertained.

James came about ten minutes before they were to go on and the couples around wished them good luck. The two had watched the big bed this time and Cas had enjoyed it. Though he got far more out of being watched rather than watching.

Dean grabbed the lube and they waited, still in their underwear, for the top sheet to be changed.

“Love you,” Dean kissed the side of Cas’s face and they each took a calming breath. When they walked up the four couples around their bed cheered loudly which started polite clapping around.

Dean sat on the big bed right at the edge so most of the beds could see them and Cas moved to straddle him. They started kissing and forgot the world and just rode high on one another. Cas jumped when slick fingers worked between the straps on his panties to get to his hole but he arched back like a cat into the wide finger when it breached him.

Dean worked the one, and then two fingers in with Cas still in his panties. But when it came time for fingers three and four all bets were off. Cas had an amazing ass and an even better hole and Dean couldn’t deny the crowd that was getting him high in so many ways the sight of his perfect boyfriend. _Perfect and not for them to touch_ he thought as the feeling went straight to his already hard and aching dick.

So he pried Cas off him and set the young man on all fours. The people around them moaned and gasped when he snapped the straps with his teeth and then pulled the lace away between his lips. Then just for good measure he sank his face in and tongue and Cas yelled out as if he’d been hit by lightning. Dean kept his mouth glued to heaven on earth as his hands helped Cas get the panties off his knees and legs. He threw them aside and then made quick work of his own.

And then, just because his tongue had been magically stuck to the silky skin, Dean licked and rubbed his fingers in the relaxed and sloppy hole. Cas was crying into the pillow and Dean rubbed himself absently, giving himself a tiny bit of relief and then gripping his base so he wouldn’t come. It was difficult when his mind reminded him he had an audience of about fifty people and they were all making Cas feel exactly as he should, like a god.

Reluctantly he pulled back, knowing his face was red and covered in lube and Cas and he leaned over to the world’s most beautiful face.

“How do you want to do this?” but Cas pushed him on his back and then to show to the audience he played with Dean’s cock and got it standing tall. For a moment he sucked the entire thing down, but he knew they’d had so little practice with his stud he’d end up torturing his boyfriend more and the man would come before he wanted to. So he popped off loudly and grabbed the lube.

After slicking up the gorgeous shaft and smirking at the intake of breath from everyone he lowered himself down facing the crowd.

“Oh fuck,” he hissed and he moved up and down a few times. Then when he felt he’d gotten a good show in, he lay back and draped himself on Dean. His head went limp and he raised his hips up just enough where his boyfriend got the message and started pounding into him. Cas gasped loudly when he felt hands gripping him tight and fingers jacking him off.

Dean pushed so their legs were even wider and he heard moans and the startings of good sex out in the crowd. He thrust up and Cas’s limp head turned so they could kiss. They both knew the stamina of the other so when Dean went down to play with Cas’s balls and shaft he knew exactly how much pressure to put so they’d give a great show and not come just yet. He wanted the room to see just how _hung_ Cas was so he held his boyfriend’s cock high and smirked into the kiss when he heard groans and cries from the beds and tables.

“Hook your legs under mine,” Dean whispered and Cas nodded. He’d really just lay spread eagle on Dean but he knew what his partner wanted to do. So he wrapped his legs and moaned out at the loud noise from the room when Dean sat them up and in one fluid motion Dean was on his knees and Cas was wrapped around his waist as Dean pounded in. Cas held himself up on his forearms and arched his neck panting out and everyone leaned forward when they saw silver sparkling in his mouth.

Dean just looked down at the amazing body taking his thrusts like it was born for him. Not an ounce of Cas jiggled from the frantic pace and the sweat on his skin glistened in the shadowy light. His muscles were perfect and Dean decided that there had to be a god to create those shoulder muscles.

“Oh Dean,” Cas keened and Dean slapped his ass roughly. Cas shouted out and his body twitched. Dean woke enough to look around the room and saw couples in a frenzy on their beds watching them enraptured. Those in the tables were shifting looking on in sheer hunger and Dean felt _high_.

“Sweetheart,” Dean slowed and leaned down to his lover’s ear. “I think they need to see that beautiful body really stretched out.” Cas nodded harshly and unwrapped his legs from Dean’s waist. He slicked his boyfriend up more, this was one position they did in the RV this morning and Dean’s speed was fabulous.

Cas knelt at the edge of the bed and grabbed the bar above him. He felt Dean widen his legs and then rolled his head back on a strong shoulder as Dean slipped back in. Dean too grabbed the bar just on the other sides of Cas’s hands and moved so he could bite Cas’s neck hard. He thrust deep and bruising a few times before speed took over. The hits were still deep but there was no lingering, Dean’s hips moved at a blurring pace and Cas was grateful for the bar or else he’d be flat on his face. His cock bounced up and down in time with the thrusts and he groaned when Dean’s lips found his mouth.

They kissed bruising their lips purple as Dean continued to thrust and breathe so loud they were sure people on the street could hear. After a few minutes Dean let go of the bar and his hands ran all over Cas’s stretched out chest. He played with nipples, paused everything for a moment to slick his hand up and then he started to jack his boyfriend off.

Their place slowed for a few minutes just so they could kiss and get a feel for Dean’s hand moving up and down and cupping Cas’s balls. Once they were used to it the pace started up again and Cas knew he was going to break apart at any moment. The hand on his shaft and the hand on his balls were relentless and the cock in his ass was going to make it very hard for him to walk home. Still he held on to the bar as Dean kissed him into oblivion and sucked at the tongue stud.

“Open your eyes sweetheart,” Dean panted softly. Cas did as commanded and looked at beautiful green. “Look out there,” Cas did again and saw couples writhing on beds calling out and watching and people in chairs openly touching themselves looking on with desire. “You did that, they saw you in your dress and makeup and piercings and they _loved_ it. You made them all want you,” he kept whispering and the effect it had on Cas was electric. The young man writhed in his arms and shouted out.

He kept watching the people looking at him in hunger and felt his orgasm tugging at the insides of his skin and making his stomach tight.

“I fucking love you, you’re the love of my life and I’m staying with you till I’m eighty.” Dean whispered and Cas yelled out. He came so hard he actually shot far enough to hit the floor a foot away from the bed. Dean kept stroking and yelling as he started orgasming and Cas shot out about seven good spurts of cum as Dean filled him and mouthed at his shoulder.

They didn’t hear the applause or cheers or begging for more, they just fell back on the bed and held one another until the world stopped spinning. They both were covered in sweat and panting hard as hands moved lazily over bodies to make sure the other was ok.

“Fuck,” Dean rolled and ran a hand through sweaty chocolate hair. They kissed softly and just reveled at being in the moment.

When they felt they could walk they slowly sat and again the room burst into cheers. They rose a bit unsteadily off the bed and Cas collected their underwear and with a wave they left to go to the bathroom.

“You are incredible,” He kissed Dean softly and went to a urinal.

Couples congratulated them all over the room as they made their way back to their bed. Dean handed Cas water and they both drank gratefully.

They rested a bit more and watched a couple on the bed now trying to imitate Cas’s bar hold but again neither got off watching so they started to play again.

At the end of the night it was clear Cas and Dean had stolen the show. The big bed was politely watched but once the couple started fucking all eyes were on them.

“Wait, don’t leave yet,” James stopped them. People kept coming up to Cas and Dean and telling them how amazing they were and thanking them for a great show. The couple sharing the table, who had given several instructions through the night and had really gotten them off, gave them a voucher for their dinner reservations at another fancy restaurant the next night.

But the people had trickled out and Cas lay lazily naked on the bed as he watched his boyfriend get dressed.

“Do you want your panties again?” Dean teased and Cas made a face.

“Yes, that dress is far too grown up for me to go commando in it.” Dean laughed.

“Fair enough.” He yawned hugely. “I think tomorrow we spend the day in bed sleeping.”

“Mmm, with sex in between,” Dean smirked lazily at the long, languid body on the bed.

“Are you going to get dressed?”

“Yes.”

“When?”

“Mmm,” Cas sounded disgruntled, “Now,” he sighed and got up. He pulled his black lace on, adjusted and then felt his ass to make sure none of the straps were turned.

“I could have done that for you sweetheart,” Dean reached out but Cas had already walked away to his dress.

“Zip me?” Dean surged forward and zipped the sparkly fabric up. He held out the black shoes and Cas slid them on.

“Did I tell you I like your shaved legs?” Dean nuzzled Cas’s neck as he ran a hand up a smooth thigh.

“Mm, keep telling me that when I have to do it every day.” James came back and a man was walking up behind him.

“Name’s Crowley, you two were pretty spectacular out there tonight.” The man held his hand out and both Dean and Cas shook. “I won’t beat around the bush, I need a couple for four weeks and I want you.” the two men looked shocked at one another.

“We weren’t that…”

“Shut it,” Crowley snapped but he was smiling. “I’ve never felt desire for anyone besides my wife since I opened this place and now I’m going to have to go home and explain to her how a hunk and twink got me all hot and bothered under the collar. I’ll pay you four thousand.”

“That’s a grand a week,” Cas started.

“A week. Sixteen at the end of it all.” His face broke into a smile when the couple nodded. “Excellent, tomorrow night we’re closed but be here every night and you’ll perform three times.” He threw a stack of bills down. “Signing bonus.”

 


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes I'm back! Right now I'm not making any promises if I will be able to update on a regular basis. This stuff I'm going through will make me fine one day and the next I just won't care. But each day is better and each day I become just a little more motivated. And these two idiots are really helping as well as all you awesome nerds out there too!

So every night Dean and Cas went and had mind blowing sex _and they got paid for it_. Their lives were awesome.

But what made it even more amazing was what it was doing for Cas. Dean could feel his best friend evolving and getting comfortable in his skin. At the beginning of the summer when Dean saw Cas in the airport he knew how devastated Cas was. The dude barely looked in his eye and he was so hurt and confused and angry at himself for what he liked that Dean wanted to wrap him up and do all he could to make it better.

He knew their parents still bugged Cas, but every night as they lay in the big bed and heard cheers and applause he saw a bit more confidence eek into Cas.

It got to the point where Cas became bolder in his makeup. He experimented, tried fire engine red lipstick which Dean then put on because he was kissing Cas so hard after they were done it was hard to tell who had put the makeup on first.

They went shoe shopping, a memory Dean would rather forget. He loved his boyfriend but he didn’t love shopping.

Cas made it up to him by surprising him that night in the big bed with a corset and garter belt holding fishnets up. Dean fisted in the belt as he thrust and it was a _good_ memory.

During their last week in the city Dean brought up that he wouldn’t mind getting another tattoo and Cas shyly asked, in his crimson lipstick and grey eyeshadow, if maybe they could get something matching.

Aaaaand Cas had to redo his lipstick.

“I’m going to go through about a tube a week if you keep kissing me like that.” Cas leaned his head in the bathroom, “Not complaining just stating.”

“Mmm,” Dean rubbed the last of the crimson off his lips. “What if I promise not to muss it up if you suck my dick with it on?”

“Dude,” Cas shuddered, “You are going to kill me.”

“Can’t have that,” Dean smirked and held his hand out. They walked around the city and found a place and four hours later came out with two long bandages on both their arms. They’d requested to be as far from one another as possible and after six hours they’d be able to see what the other got. They had both agreed they loved Dean’s wings so a feather went on the left arm, and the other’s name went on the right.

“Hey I know what’ll be a distraction,” Dean pulled Cas in a cosmetics store and back to the nail polish. “Sam may have started your collection but I’m going to be funding the hell out of it too.”

So when they got back “home” they both gave one another a pedicure, Dean declined his toes painted but he was oddly satisfied when he finished Cas’s.

“That’s kind of fun, like painting a mini canvas.” Cas laughed and admired the work loudly.

“Dude!” Dean laughed, “Enough! I’ll paint your toes again.” He leaned over on the bed and kissed Cas softly. “I love you enough to do that.”

They both decided they wanted to stay in so they went across the street outside the RV park and got some sushi to go. Then twenty minutes later they were at the table in the RV with Cas in Dean’s lap and enjoying several different rolls.

“Ok time to see,” Cas started pulling at the tape.

Dean’s feather was black with electric blue streaks of lightning running through the veins. It covered almost his entire forearm and anyone looking would instantly think of the blue eyes of his boyfriend.

Cas’s feather was far more eclectic and reminded Dean of henna he’d seen on others. It was mostly black but some parts were filled in with a gold green the exact color of Dean’s eyes. Both tattoos were so different but they showed off each’s personality in the best way.

“I can’t believe you remembered!” Cas whispered as he saw his name in Dwarvish runes on Dean’s arm. When Sam was twelve he was obsessed with becoming a linguist. He learned everything about languages and he made Cas and Dean pick their favorite alphabet. Cas had picked Dwarvish because it reminded him of the lines he saw in Wright’s buildings. He loved the stocky strokes and hard angles and he thought his name looked beautiful on Dean’s arm.

“I see you remembered too.” Dean said quietly as they looked at Cas’s arm. Dean’s name in his favorite alphabet, Enochian, curved along Cas’s forearm. Dean loved it because it flowed and curved and reminded him of the cars he wanted to design.

“I had to draw it for them, but I wrote it on all my notebooks so it wasn’t hard for me.” Cas blushed.

“Me too, I thought I was safe when I went to college so whenever I wasn’t really thinking I would doodle it out and I’ll never forget when Charlie first came over and she looked at my desk and said ‘Who’s Castiel?’ and Benny just laughed.”

“I think we should watch a movie.” Cas pulled his laptop out and wiggled it. Purgatory was closed tonight and then they only had two nights left before they drove to pick up Sam.

“Oh! Has your lust for me finally been sated?!” Not only had they been having amazing sex at Purgatory but every bed in the camper had been over used. This was the longest they’d lasted since they’d arrived in New York that they’d kept their clothes on in private. Dean was wearing sweats and one of Cas’s tank tops and Cas was in a tank top dress that he’d become very comfortable sleeping in. When he slept in clothes that was.

“No,” Cas beamed, “Never,” he said triumphantly as he leaned in for a kiss, “But I am tired and I want to just fall asleep in your newly perfected arms.” Dean laughed and tried to pull his boyfriend down. “Hey, no I have to take my makeup off. Pick a movie.”

“So I was wondering…” Dean called and Cas stuck his head out of the bathroom. The older man had gotten used to the bright yellow elastic band Cas used to hold his hair back but only just. “I was wondering if you wanted to do something…special for our last night.”

“Ok…” Cas’s voice was muffled as he went back in the bathroom. Dean heard splashes and then the water was turned off. “What did you have in mind?” He was dabbing pimple medicine on with a cotton ball, a great thing about still being a _teenager_ he thought ruefully.

“Um…James.” Dean worried his lip as he looked up. They had been shamelessly flirting with the man every night at the club and neither could deny their attraction and curiosity of what it would be like to fuck with someone else. He worried more when Cas went into the bathroom and was silent for a while. He was about to open his mouth and say that it was a dumb idea, he was just thinking of Cas not himself (sort of true), he didn’t need anyone else (which was true), he was just curious (also true).

But as his mouth was opening Cas was out of the bathroom with nothing on but shiny red lipstick and that boy was _hard_.

“Put the laptop away, baby,” Cas purred and Dean obliged.

They kept everyone awake with their sex that night.

“James,” the second to last night was done and Cas watched Dean jog over to the waiter. He was still sticky and far too sated to move. He had plowed Dean hard tonight and their show on the big bed had lasted almost twice as long as it should have because neither man wanted to leave. Dean still had a neat ring of red at the base of his cock and both had become used to Purgatory now that they were fine running around naked. Cas watched as James’s face broke into a smile and then beam and he waved over at Cas.

“He’s in.” Cas smiled and rubbed at Dean’s thighs. They dressed, Cas in his vintage red and white polka dotted dress. They’d visited a vintage store that day and Dean found about ten dresses that all screamed pin up girl and Cas loved them. He also loved the garter belt that went perfectly with it.

“We should practice.” Cas adjusted his straps and Dean ran a loving hand over his ass.

“What?” Dean handed the peep toe pumps over and then laced his own boots up.

“You, me, and a vibrator.” Dean shivered as Cas slotted their fingers together.

“But sweetheart,” they waved goodbye to the host, “We’ve fucked with it before.” They smiled dirtily. Dean had looked at the toy in disbelief, if they had the real thing then why need plastic? But then after Cas got it in his boyfriend’s hole nice and deep and got Dean start fucking…well Dean became the vibrator’s number one fan.

“Yes,” Cas shivered and Dean slipped his jacket around him. “And I’m sure we’ll do that position tomorrow night, but we should practice you and the vibrator…both in me.”

“Damn, dude you want to dp?” Cas nodded slowly. “Well ok.”

And boy did they practice.

“James,” Cas smiled as Dean was outside talking to Sam on his phone. They never failed to check in every other day with their brother and it seemed Sam didn’t want to leave.

“Hey, I didn’t think we’d end up here,” he winked, “You both were so protective of each other the first night and now…” he looked up and down the black sheath dress Cas was wearing. “Fuck I’m honored. And I promise not to fall in love with you. I already fell for your cock but I’ll let it go after tonight.” Cas laughed again and went back to the small employee room. Between shows he and Dean came back here and usually just made out or talked. It was easier than being out on the floor where everyone kept coming up and talking or getting them to play.

“So any plans for tonight?”

“Well I know Dean really wants you to fuck him while he fucks me, and I can dp.” James groaned and rubbed his crotch.

“Hey,” Dean came in and dropped his jacket. “So get this, Sammy has been granted early admission to start his residency at Boston Gen.”

“No!” Cas beamed, “Oh Sam is our brother, well Dean’s brother, they’re both my step brothers.” James nodded a bit confused, but Cas was getting used to it. “Dean and I never saw ourselves as brothers. We never really connected in that way. But Sam has always been my brother. He’s autistic and has been wanting to be a surgeon for, what six years?” Cas turned to Dean.

“At least, it was the time you fell off your bike and he saw all that blood and he was hooked.”

“That’s right! So Sam graduated high school when he was fourteen and now he’s finishing off his undergrad.”

“Right,” James just smiled and then sat back letting the couple be.

“So when does he get to start?” Cas turned his attention on his boyfriend.

“Apparently he is starting in two months.”

“Two months! But he doesn’t graduate for another four!”

“Mother hen,” Dean warned and Cas calmed. “I guess Boston Gen is going to give him some summer credits for this camp and he’ll be able to graduate early. He also said Jess is moving out there and they will be living together not roommates like us.”

“Wow.” Cas breathed.

“He, um, well he talked to me and he wants to talk to both of us when we pick him up, but he doesn’t want to go back home.” James left softly and the couple hardly noticed. “He wants to move out like you.”

“But…” Cas looked down, it was true he felt guilty about leaving Sam with their parents, but Sam couldn’t legally make his own decisions until he was eighteen and that wasn’t for almost another year.

“They won’t stop him from going to Boston Gen,” Dean assured, “But I think we’ll have to bring him back.”

“They won’t let him live with Jess.”

“Well maybe we can convince them, Jess or stranger roommate, Jess or him staying in his dorm room all the time except to go out for classes. And once he gets out there Jess will be the only one who knows how to help him.” Cas tilted his head. “Are you going to be ok going back there and talking with them?” Dean ran a gentle hand on Cas’s side.

“If it’s for Sam then yes. But I’d probably do more harm than good. Whatever I say dad will want to go against it. He’ll listen to you.”

“I doubt it.” Dean shook his head.

“Dean, you weren’t in that house. With dad muttering and shouting all the time ‘Why can’t you be like Dean? Dean’s a man, Dean’s got a good life, you should be like Dean.’ Trust me he’ll listen to you. I’ll just keep out of the way and calm Sam down.”

“Sweethea—”

“Hey we’re on,” James ducked his head in the door and the couple got up and started stripping. Cas was wearing a lacy blue thong with a bow at the back and both men licked their lips. Dean wore his standard satin panties this time with a little lacy trim along all the edges. The couple went and James hung back for a moment.

“So this is our last night,” Cas said to the crowd and everyone cried out loudly. “We’ve had an amazing time at Purgatory and whenever we come back we’ll be sure to let you know.” Everyone cheered. The club had put extra tables and chairs around the beds as Cas and Dean had become quite an attraction in the circuit. The place was packed with easily sixty to seventy people and everyone was practically drooling over Cas and Dean.

“But since you have been so fantastic we’re going to do a special show for you,” Dean smiled and kissed his boyfriend’s hand. “There has been someone here who has been nothing but awesome to us this entire time and to say thank you to him and you all we asked if he would be in our show tonight.” The room erupted in cheers as James stepped out wearing nothing but a smile and wave.

Without any more words he turned to Cas’s chest and sucked a nipple down. Cas moaned and Dean knelt and popped the other in his mouth and Cas felt _incredible_. His breathing became shallow and harsh as the two men went to town and he petted the heads at his chest. He moaned again when a hand came down and cupped him and James moaned as he felt a cock he’d been wanting in his hand for a while. His other hand went to Dean and then James was a real happy camper as he just reveled in how fucking lucky he was.

“James,” Dean said harshly, “Taste Cas’s other piercing,” the waiter looked on in question and Cas stuck his tongue out showing off the barbell.

“Oh hell yeah,” he stood and their tongues locked. They moaned as Dean moved further down and mouthed between two cocks.

“Wait,” Dean commanded when Cas tried to slip the thong off. “Turn around.” Cas broke from the kiss and did as he was told and bent over the bed. “I had to let you see that pretty ass,” Dean called out to the room and then spanked Cas a few times.

The eighteen year old felt the bed dent in front of him and saw James looking down patiently his cock hard and curving up.

So Cas took it in his mouth as Dean alternated between biting and spanking his ass.

“Oh fuck,” James moaned as the stud rolled around his shaft, Dean had moved to pulling the thong off with his teeth, a crowd favorite, and then eating his boyfriend out.

It was hard to tell who was of the most sound mind, but whoever it was had James lie on his back and Cas 69ing it with him while Dean continued to eat his lover’s ass. The older man grabbed for the lube as Cas started fucking James’ face just so he could thrust back on Dean’s tongue and now slicked up fingers.

When his boyfriend was open Dean waved his glass plug to the audience and loved the gasp it produced. He pushed it in and Cas froze crying out around James’ cock. The teardrop glass just brushed his prostate and he squeezed around it for more. He keened and Dean bit his ass.

Then everyone called out when Dean bent himself in full view of the audience and started opening himself up. He ate up his own fingers and when he was loose enough he teased the people by digging both sets of fingers in and pulling open.

He got high on the noises of sex already starting, some were so effected by them that they couldn’t hold out and wait for more.

So being the one of sounder mind he pulled the other two apart and then lay Cas down for simple missionary guiding James behind them so he could fuck into Dean.

“Oh shit,” Cas yelled when his teasing boyfriend eased the plug out and dropped it on the bed. Dean filled its place instantly and Cas yelled again this time his lover’s name. Dean thrust a few times before opening his legs and letting James slid into him.

His yells were even louder than his boyfriend’s when Dean felt like he was filling and being filled. They all were cautious for a few minutes as James and Dean just thrusted shallowly to get a feel for it all. After a bit Dean traded caution for deep hard thrusts and James arched his back and started rutting. Cas just widened his legs on the bed and fell in love with the way Dean went between thrusting and impaling himself on James’ cock.

The waiter did want to slow down, but the wide legs hanging out under them and Dean’s ass around him made him just go into eager rabbit mode so he went to town on Dean’s ass.

“Oh fuck,” Dean moaned and with a slight shift from Cas and James his prostate was being hit and at the same time his cockhead was being squeezed around in the best possible way. “Shit!” he yelled and he was the first to come. He threw his head back and moved erratically trying to continue his high.

James pulled off and Dean rolled over expecting the waiter to just take his place. Instead James took Cas’s hand and led him to the post where they could stand. He then pulled Cas’s hips back as far he could and then slammed into him so hard the precum at Cas’s tip went flying. The waiter took strong hands to Cas’s hips and then started pounding as Cas could only moan and hold on for dear life.

Dean came up and kissed his boyfriend’s hands then moved so he could catch Cas’s lips. James caught Dean’s eye and the man nodded. The waiter let up on his thrusts but pulled Cas further back so the young man was bent in half holding the post. Dean squeezed lube on his hand and started jacking Cas off in time with the other man’s thrusts and soon they were all yelling and Cas and James were coming all over.

Everyone cheered and yelled as the three staggered off stage and went to the back room. Dean sat and Cas curled into his lap and they both rested catching their breaths.

“That was incredible,” James handed them a glass of water. “Too bad it’s your last night and I’m moving.”

“Too bad we go to college across the country.”

“Where?”

“Seattle.”

“You’re shitting me.”

“You too?”

“No, Portland, damn,” James rubbed himself. “I can see you being worth a drive for a weekend of fun.”

“I could get behind that, baby?” Dean nodded.

“And I hear there’s a great exhibitionist club in Seattle.” James smiled, “Damn it really is my lucky night.”

And it was. They fucked three more times before the big finish that Cas was still a bit nervous about. He knew he could do it, but he was a little worried about the other two, would they like it? Would the audience?

“So this is our last show,” Cas felt Dean lay on his back, “Thank you for being so amazing!” With that he straddled and rode his boyfriend in reverse cowboy for a few thrusts and then James came in to lay them back. He kept Dean in Cas as they repositioned and then everyone lost their minds as Cas’s legs wrapped around Dean’s wide bowlegs and James slid in over Dean.

Cas decided they were going to be calling James again because feeling two cocks in him was spectacular. He went limp on Dean’s chest as he felt James start to thrust in earnest and Dean yelled out. His hands were steady on Cas but the young man could feel his boyfriend was rapidly falling apart.

“James,” he breathed, “We’re not gonna last,” the waiter nodded and pulled out so they could readjust. He slid his thigh between Cas and Dean’s legs and the audience went wild as all three men moaned when the waiter moved back in. This time Dean was able to move up a bit so he and James took turns moving up and down and Cas just remained boneless until he came.

They all three panted as the room was going crazy. When they’d recovered enough Cas and Dean waved again. They went back to the room with James, got his contacts and then slipped out the back door. They’d talked about it and decided earlier they didn’t want to cause a scene, they just wanted to leave quietly. Crowley had come in at the beginning of the night and paid them everything, it was over thirteen thousand after taxes, and more than either had dreamed of.

“Hey,” Dean held Cas body to his as they entered the RV, this was their last night, tomorrow Sam would be picked up and they would have to return to their parents’. “One more time,” he whispered and he pulled Cas’s dress off. Neither had bothered with underwear after they left so Cas stood naked as Dean stripped down. He led Cas to the bed but before they made it on the bed Cas just pressed into the corner of the mattress and opened his legs.

Dean slipped in Cas still messy from two men coming in him, and they rocked against each other gently. Cas humped the bed as Dean moved in him and they turned their heads and swallowed one another down. It was hot and intimate and totally connecting. Dean wrapped an arm around Cas’s neck to stabilize him while they kissed and fucked and the other made its way down to jack his lover off in time with his easy thrusts.

Cas really started humping the bed when Dean twisted his wrist at the warm, leaking cockhead. He groaned in Dean’s mouth and they moved faster when they felt Cas tremble in Dean’s arms.

“I love you,” Dean murmured and Cas nodded. They both shuddered and came at the exact same moment and then fell forward, crawling up the bed in a pile.

 


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Boxing day, all!

“Morning gorgeous,” Cas beamed as he held his hand out to Dean to be kissed. He’d been driving for two hours before Dean woke and came out.

“What time did you wake up?”

“Five,” Cas chirped and Dean groaned. Of course his boyfriend was a fucking morning person, and of course Cas would be able to look effortlessly beautiful in a pastel purple sundress and fedora this early in the morning. “Well I thought get out of the city before rush hour and then we still have enough time to hit a laundromat before we pick up Sam.”

“Sounds like a plan. I’ll get all our stuff together.”

“No, stay,” Cas held his hand. “We’ll be in Boston in an hour, you can stay.”

“You just want to look at me topless don’t you?”

“Mmm, yes.”

“Well how can I argue when I get to look at you like that?” Dean plopped himself down happily and just looked. Cas had really taken to the vintage look and his makeup was now starting to reflect it. He had been trying out so many styles but the cat’s eye had really become his favorite. He also loved the bright red lipsticks, a favorite of his boyfriend’s.

“Are you getting excited for school?” Dean just couldn’t stop looking at his best friend.

“Yeah, I got my textbook list yesterday, we should have looked in the city!”

“Nah, give your cash and list to Benny, they’re amazing when it comes to finding the perfect used book.”

“Really?”

“It’s an art.”

Cas’s plan worked out perfectly they stopped off at a laundromat and washed all the linens and clothes they’d gone through in the past month. And if Dean thought they were going to have fun time while they waited for the laundry he was out of luck. Cas had them cleaning the whole RV which didn’t take as long as Dean bitched it would.

So they had time for ice cream which they ate outside in the sun on benches outside the laundromat.

“Castiel! Dean!” Sam waved like mad. “You look different! You got tattoos! Was the needle clean? Did you check out their credentials? Did they clean you with gauze and not paper towels?”

“Yes to everything Sammy,” Cas laughed. He was cut off by his brother taking his mouth prying it open and pulling his tongue out.

“It’s not infected.” Sam diagnosed and then nodded. He stared hard at Cas and then nodded again. “You’re happier.” Then he turned to his older brother and looked on. “You’re happier too.” He refused to answer a word about the camp until he examined the tattoos. “You remembered!” Sam ducked his head and rubbed his arm a sign he was wordlessly happy.

“So come on Dr. Sammy tell us everything!” And with that Sam launched into hundreds of stories telling them all at once.

“Oh Castiel I have a present for you.” Sam pulled a card out. “Suzy, she was a student here she left yesterday she’s going to be an OBGYN had brown hair like yours and blue streaks, I thought she looked nice and it would look good so I made you an appointment. It’s at a place across campus and it’s in ten minutes, you should go.” Wordlessly a shocked Cas left the card still in hand and Sam turned on Dean. “Dean you have made Castiel happy. I know you don’t like dresses or makeup so I got you this to say thank you.” And it was a book on automotive engineering.

“Thanks Sammy, hug?”

“Hug.” Sam hugged hard and then helped Dean load up the RV.

“So Sam you talked to me about moving out.” Sam nodded.

“I talked to Jess we’re going to find an apartment out here and she is going to Harvard law school. We will find an apartment in between.”

“Well you know mom and dad have a say in where you live until you’re eighteen.” Sam sighed hard and his fingers started moving to his arm. “But Cas and I are going to take you back and we’re going to all talk as a family.”

“I don’t want to go back.”

“I know, but you’re not legally an adult, if we don’t take you back mom and dad can get Cas and I arrested for kidnapping you.”

“But you’re my brothers!”

“And legally we have no rights to you.” Sam sighed hard and then pulled his hand away from his arm.

“Ok. But if they’re mean to Castiel I’m living in my room. I won’t come out until I can go to school.” Dean nodded.

“That sounds fair, can I move in with you?” Sam made a face and then smiled. “How about this, we do something for Cas,” he explained his idea and Sam nodded eagerly.

“Dean?”

“Yeah?”

“I won’t tell mom and dad about you and Castiel living together not roommates.”

“Thanks, Sam.”

“Why do you want it a secret?”

“Well you know age of consent?” Sam nodded his face blushing a little bit. “Well it doesn’t matter that Cas said yes to me when he was fifteen, because he was fifteen he didn’t have the right to say yes and I could get in trouble for being with him because I was eighteen and an adult.”

“And Castiel doesn’t want you to get in trouble.”

“No, so we’re going to wait until we’re at school a while and say we fell in love at college.” Sam nodded.

“Dean?”

“Yeah?”

“Are you going to marry Castiel?” Dean looked across the parking lot and saw his boyfriend walking toward them his damn fedora hiding whatever he did to his hair.

“Yeah. But don’t tell Cas, I want it to be a surprise.”

“Ok.” Sam turned and saw his brother walking up to them. “Castiel!” And with a flourish Cas pulled his hat off and his hair was soft and wavy and cerulean blue at the tips. “I like that color.” Sam nodded.

“Dean?”

“You went up another level sweetheart,” Dean threw an arm around Cas’s shoulders and the brunet blushed. “Well Sammy are you ready to leave or do you want to eat first? What’s the schedule say?” Sam pulled out a sheet and looked at it.

“Eat here, there’s a schwarma place we went to every Tuesday and you should eat there.”

“I’m game, what the hell is schwarma?” Dean kept his arm around Cas’s shoulders as the three walked on.

***

“It’s going to be ok,” Cas tried to ease everyone in the RV. Dean’s knuckles were white on the steering wheel, Sam had started to stim softly and Cas’s stomach just flipped. They all looked down the familiar rode they all grew up on and slowly eased down. Their mother came out of the house waving and her shoulders eased when she saw Cas’s cigarette pants, but they tensed again at his red lipstick and perfect cat’s eyeshadow. Cas had his fedora on again and walked up and hugged the shocked woman.

“Hey mom,” Naomi just nodded. Cas had stolen one of Dean’s flannels again and this time it was buttoned neatly and tucked in with the sleeves rolled up. The fresh tattoos shone and Naomi eyed him like he was a stranger.

She smiled broadly at Dean, though she did pause a moment when she saw the tattoos across her oldest son’s arms and chest. Dean in retaliation of Cas stealing his clothes had taken his boyfriend’s tank top.

And without his boyfriend knowing his utility kilt.

Cas choked and swallowed back his curse as Dean walked up to them calmly and brightly. He hugged his mother and then they looked back. Sam came slowly out.

In one of Cas’s yellow sundresses.

“Sam!” the woman yelled and Sam stayed back. “Take that off right now.”

“No! It makes me happy!” Sam yelled and then backed into the RV. “It makes Castiel happy so it makes me happy too!”

“Can we all just come inside the house?” Naomi looked at a neighbor passing. Dean waved merrily and the woman waved back.

“Shouldn’t we unload Sammy’s stuff first?” Dean was way too innocent which told Cas he and Sam had been planning this for a while, and at that thought tears pricked his eyes.

“I—we—we will go into the house and you will change first,” Naomi used her mom voice and crossed her arms.

“No!” Sam yelled.

“I don’t think so, mom. See we saw how happy Cas was and we wanted to try it for ourselves, and well…” Dean smirked and held his hands out. “The rest is history.”

“I thought I heard voices,” Bobby came out of the house. He took in Cas’s makeup, Dean’s skirt, and Sam’s dress in one look and broke into a smile. Hell Bobby couldn’t understand it, but then he didn’t really understand the laws of physics but he knew not to pee straight up in the air, so he wasn’t going to go against what made these boys happy. He hugged Cas roughly and then Dean. “Sam can I have a hug?” he didn’t go near the boy who was still flat against the RV and digging his nails into his arm hard.

“Are you going to call Castiel a freak for wearing makeup and skirts?” Bobby looked at his sister-in-law in shock.

“You called him a freak?” He shook his head and turned away and looked at Cas who couldn’t meet his eyes. “No, Sammy, Castiel is not a freak, he can dress however he likes.” Sam stopped walked up to Bobby and hugged his uncle hard.

“Did you come to take Dean and Castiel to Sioux Falls?” Bobby nodded. “Can I come?”

“Sam!” Naomi called behind them.

“Sure.” Bobby crossed his arms and looked at his sister in law. He threw his keys at Dean, “Go pack up my pickup.” The three boys took off like a rocket, yelling and laughing as they took everything out of the RV and put it in the back of Bobby’s pickup.

“Sam you’re not,” Naomi started weakly but no one listened to her. Bobby walked up and looked at her hard.

“He’s your _son_.”

“He’s only wearing that ridiculous dress because Castiel told him to.”

“I’m not talking about Sam.” Bobby looked out at Cas, “How can you call your own son a freak?”

“I didn’t…John…”

“Well my brother in law has his head up his ass the better part of the day, doesn’t mean he has to be listened to.”

“We found _panties_ Robert, boys don’t wear panties. Or makeup. Or dresses.”

“So what?”

“You can’t just write it off! They’re _panties._ You haven’t been living with him, it’s been so difficult with neighbors and everyone seeing, just you wait when people start leaving your resort you’ll feel different.”

“Oh cry me a fucking river princess,” Naomi looked shocked and Bobby just rolled his eyes, “Does he run around in only panties, because that would be the only problem I would have.”

“That’s not the point—”

“It’s exactly the point. I could be wearing a pink Hello Kitty sparkle _thong_ right now and you’d have no idea because I’m dressed the way a man is supposed to be. Your problem isn’t panties, it’s that Castiel isn’t dressed the way _you_ want him to. Well let me tell you right now princess that’s _family_. They do whatever they want and it’s not the way you planned, but you forgive because they’re family. He is your son and all he needs is your love and you give it to him because he’s your family.” Naomi crossed her arms and caught a flash of Cas’s tongue stud as he opened his mouth to call out to Dean.

“I can’t.” she turned to go to the house. “Can you at least leave Sam?”

“No.”

“Why?”

“Well what if he really does like wearing that sundress? What if he isn’t doing it because someone asked him to and he actually likes it? I can’t leave him in this house knowing he’s going to be called a freak. He will dig his arms raw and I can’t leave him here.”

“We wouldn’t call him a freak,” Naomi seemed horrified at the idea.

“Didn’t stop you from calling Cas that.” Bobby folded his arms across his chest. “Now we can stay here and wait for John to get home but if I hear a peep out of him against _any_ of these boys I’m going to beat the shit out of him. What do you want?”

“Just go.” Naomi had lost all her fight and went into the house and Bobby sighed. The three boys were bouncing in the truck talking and laughing loudly and Bobby shook his head and smiled. They were like the rag tag group of little kids so many years ago.

“Aren’t you boys all in _college_?” he said ruefully as they argued over which radio station and then Cas found Bobby’s bag of car twizzlers and the fight began in earnest.

After forty five minutes Cas and Sam were unconscious. Sam had his head rested against Cas’s shoulder and Dean looked back and smiled softly.

“They sure tired out fast.”

“Well we’ve been on the road and none of us really slept all that well last night knowing we’d come here…”

“I understand boy,” Dean sighed wearily and ran a hand through his hair. “Hey, come on you know you can talk to me.” Bobby said roughly.

“It’s all my fault Bobby, if I hadn’t gone to college…or if I had just gotten Cas to talk to me…I came home six weeks ago and Sam’s stims were the worst I’ve seen in years and Cas looked ready to run away or harm himself. If I had been there…”

“Don’t do that to yourself, boy, no matter what you say or do it’s never gonna matter because your parents always come first. Cas will be happy that you care for him but you’re not his mother.” Dean looked back at Cas’s sleeping face, he was addicted to watching his boyfriend sleep because that was when Cas was so peaceful. He was full of a never ending bouncing energy so when he was asleep Dean was finally able just to look at him.

“Bobby…”

“There something you want to tell me boy?” Dean couldn’t tear his eyes from Cas’s face. If he had he would have seen the smile and twinkle in his uncle’s eyes.

“I’m in love with Cas, the dude is the freaking love of my life and I’m going to marry him someday.” He finally tore away from Cas’s sleeping face nuzzled into Sam’s hair and looked at his beaming uncle.

“Oh hell, boy, I already knew that.”

“Did everyone know?!” Dean quieted when Sam and Cas shifted in the back. “Sammy knew, you know, what about mom and dad?”

“You really think they would have let you go on a six week vacation if they knew?” Dean tilted his head. “Nah your parents are clueless.”

“Fuck them,” Dean glared out the window.

“Don’t write them off just yet, give them a chance and maybe they’ll come around.” Dean stared incredulously. “Ok, give them till you graduate college, if they still refuse fuck them.” Dean sighed. “Look at it from their point of view, have they ever come in contact with a cross dresser before?”

“He prefers transvestite, Bobby,” Dean growled.

“Ok sorry, transvestite, there any transvestites in your neighborhood?” Dean thought it over.

“No.”

“Ok, so Cas comes home wearing this and they reacted. Badly,” Bobby said quickly under the withering glare. “Very, very badly and I don’t like them any more than you do, but it does come as a shock. When I saw him last Christmas and he was wearing a skirt…”

“Bobby,” Dean growled again.

“I reacted. I thought ‘well, this is different,’ but spending five minutes with the kid and I knew he was happy so I’m not gonna stop him.” Dean’s anger melted away. “You can’t expect everyone to be accepting immediately out of the gate. People are going to have a knee jerk reaction to anything that’s different, it’s what comes after the knee jerk that’s important.”

Dean sighed and looked out the window. Bobby was right.  He loved Cas to pieces but there was no denying the dude was different.

“I think that’s the reason I love him so much.” He said softly looking out the window. “I love him because he knows people are going to stare at his dress or lipstick or eyeshadow. People are gonna mutter about his shoes or nail polish, but it makes him happy and so he does it.”

“And what makes you happy?”

“Him.” Dean said simply. “And designing cars, and these tattoos, but most of all I get happy wondering what outfit he’s going to wear next, or how he’s going to surprise me. He’s known all along who he was and now he’s finally growing into that person and it makes me very happy I can be there for the ride.” Bobby rubbed his nephew’s shoulder.

“That’s a man. I’m proud of you boy.”

“Thanks Bobby.” Dean fiddled with the hem of the skirt he’d still not taken off. “So, um, how did you know? Did Sam tell you?” Bobby laughed.

“Oh hell no, it was the last summer you two were at the resort. You aren’t as coy as you think, staying in that cabin.”

“You only had one cabin for us!”

“For about two days! Which was all the time it took to tell me you didn’t _want_ another cabin,” Bobby laughed harder. “Boy you may think I’m as dumb as a box of rocks, but I know what a hickey looks like, and every time he walked into a room your eyes hung on him like wet clothes.” Bobby chuckled as Dean grunted and turned to his window again.

He managed to fall asleep and when he woke there were the canyons of his childhood summers. They were parked at the lake next to the campsite and everyone was unloading the gear.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So New York is over, and now the story is going to be a bit more mushy and fluffy. There will be some sexy times, but we're going to go through more hurt and we'll be in need of some serious comfort!


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I'm knitting and writing like mad to keep myself warm over this extra long winter! I hope you like this extra floofy, fluffy chapter!

Dean woke up in the car because someone was calling his name. He had been having a really good dream too.

“Dean!” Sam came running up still in Cas’s sundress. “I get my own cabin and you and Cas have to share.” Dean saw the smirk of their uncle behind them.

“Ok, did you see your cabin? Do you need your fish?” Sam shook his head, he looked strangely calm and he ran off in the direction of the small cabins.

“I don’t think you’re getting your dress back, sweetheart,” Dean found his best friend in another cabin hanging up some dresses.

“Hm? Oh Sam? He seems oddly…”

“Calm?” Cas nodded.

“Thank you, by the way,” Cas dipped his head, and came up to finger the hem of his skirt on Dean, “You didn’t have to…”

“Yes I did,” Dean looked hard in his best friend’s eyes. “Because to me you are perfect, and I will always do this for you.” Cas smiled and Dean kissed him lightly.

“Hey we can’t! What if Bobby sees?”

“Yeah he already knows.”

“He does?! Did you tell him?!” Dean looked sheepish. “Dean!”

“I can’t help it sweetheart,” Dean put his hands in his boyfriend’s pockets, “I love you too much I just want to tell everyone. Besides he said he knew after about two days of us staying two summers ago.” Cas blushed furious. They’d spent more time out of their clothes that summer than in. “Hey…so here’s a crazy thought…” Cas looked up. “Wanna skinny dip tonight?” Cas laughed and hit Dean on the stomach. He went back to unpacking and Dean was eager to help. Well he was eager to wrap his arms around a perfect waist and kiss a perfect neck.

“Ok! Just let me unpack first!” Dean smirked and went back to the car to get his suitcase. When he got back to the cabin Cas was hanging the sparkle dress up carefully.

“I don’t think you’re gonna have a chance to wear that, sweetheart,” Dean kissed the back of Cas’s neck quickly before he started unpacking himself.

“I know,” Cas said wistfully, “But it’s so pretty I couldn’t leave it in my suitcase.”

And boy did that give Dean an idea.

But before he could think on it or plan Bobby was calling for them. They had a new batch of campers arriving tomorrow. Sam would do books, Dean general maintenance, and Cas guest services. Bobby had shut the resort down for a weekend so he could go and pick the boys up and now with the height of summer they were ready to go.

Dean signaled to his uncle and brother as Cas walked back to their cabin to finish unpacking.

“So I have an idea…”

***

“Dean,” Cas hissed, Dean popped around a tree, “Don’t do that!” Cas hissed again and Dean hooted.

“What?”

“Run off, you might have freaky night vision but I don’t!”

“Come on, sweetheart, the moon is out you can see.”

“Yes, but once you hide behind a tree I can’t!” Dean just laughed but held his boyfriend’s hand until they got to the far side of the lake away from the resort.

There was no denying how beautiful each thought the other was in the soft moonlight. Cas went for pulling Dean’s tee-shirt and boxers off quickly wanting to see more of his freckled skin with moonlight bouncing off it.

Dean was far slower.

He bent slightly and caught the hem of Cas’s tank top dress in his fingers and brushed up Cas’s body at a snail’s pace. He kissed all the skin he exposed and Cas sighed when the fabric was finally pulled away. They stood at the edge of the lake and just held on and kissed. Knowing they’d get nowhere if they continued Cas walked back and pulled Dean’s lips with him. They jumped slightly when the cold water hit their calves but hands and lips were all over and soon they were chest deep in the black water.

Cas hoisted his boyfriend up so Dean’s legs wrapped around his waist and his strong arms were around Cas’s neck as the brunet ran his hands up and down Dean’s back.

“Hey,” Dean kissed softer and then broke away. “I don’t…is it ok if we don’t do sex right now?”

“Oh! Has you lust for me been sated?” Cas’s whisper was full of tease.

“Never,” Dean kissed again, “But I just wanted…” Dean looked around and saw the amazing stars, and dark canyon rising around them, “I just wanted a moment with you. When we’re having sex it’s amazing and it takes me over completely and I forget what’s around me. And I don’t really want to forget what’s around me just yet.”

“That’s fair,” Cas nodded. His eyes looked black in the dark light and with his hair slicked back covered in water Dean thought he was the most beautiful person in the world.

“You’re so beautiful.” He ran a hand over Cas’s cheek.

“So are you,” Cas returned. He looked over the landscape and was lost in the Milky Way above them. “I had a thought, this vacation is like us. New York was me, fashion and different and kind of wild. And here is like you, strong and beautiful and endless. And the stars are like your freckles.” Dean huffed and tried to shrug away.

“Well New York was amazing, every time I thought I saw it all it surprised me. It was beautiful and sparkle and I fell so hard in love with it I forget how to breathe some times.” Cas smiled at him. “Plus the food was _really_ good,” they laughed and held one another looking up at the sky for a long time.

“Shit, I forgot towels!” Dean smirked, “We’ll have to go back naked sweetheart.” He pulled Cas into his arms.

“Mmm or we use your tee-shirt as a towel.”

“Why mine?!”

“Well for two very good reasons: one you can go back in boxers, and two: I already used it.”

“You are such a little shit, why do I hang around you?” Cas made an adorable face.

“Because I’m the love of your life?” he shook his head and water went flying.

“Yeah there really is no hope for me,” Dean murmured as he watched his best friend and lover put his tank top dress back on. Cas handed his wet tee-shirt to him and he dried off the best he could and put his boxers on. Not as nice as panties he decided, but nice to sleep in.

When Dean woke the next morning he felt like his eyes were glued together. Not that he really needed his eyes opened, he knew every contour of the body he was pressed into. Cas was still deep asleep from the soft humming snores the dude had. Not only was he completely adorable awake the guy also hummed in his sleep. Dean was completely addicted to the sound.

So he just kept his eyes closed and nosed his face closer to Cas’s neck and just stayed in that awesome place between sleeping and awake. How long he stayed that way he had no idea, it was awesome just to hold Cas in his arms and have the dude’s scent and warmth wash into him.

When Cas started to shift awake Dean still didn’t open his eyes but rolled them lazily so Cas was on his chest and their lips were languidly greeting one another. Their arms were wrapped around like blankets and their legs were heavily tangled as they just were slow and lazy in one another.

“Morning beautiful,” Dean breathed and opened his eyes.

Aaaaaand that was when he saw another pair of eyes watching them.

“SAM!” He roared and the boy was off like a shot. He backed into a corner and covered his ears. “Shit,” Dean ran a hand through his hair, and of course neither he or Cas could get out from under the blankets as they were naked.

“Sam,” he said softer, “I’m not mad, I was just surprised and scared.”

“You yelled.”

“I was just surprised. I’m sorry.”

“Sam,” Cas called softly, “I’m going to kiss Dean, he’s never mad after I kiss him.” Sam looked up and Cas kissed Dean loudly. “Mad?” Cas looked down at his boyfriend.

“Nope,” they both looked at Sam who inched toward them.

“I’m sorry you were surprised.”

“Well Sammy it’s been a long time since you watched either of us sleep. You remember all the other times when we woke up?” Sam nodded. The first time he’d watched Cas sleep the boy was seven and threw a pillow at his new brother’s face. Sam had fled to his room and Cas crawled under his bed to hide from the shame.

“What did you need Sam?”

“I wanted to ask you if I could wear your dress today again and when I came in you were asleep and I thought I would study you because you make each other happy and I want to make Jess happy too,” Sam spoke faster and his hand went to his wrist to rub the skin a sign he was nervous.

“Ok, well you can ask us anything Sammy.”

“It’s ok to ask?” Sam paused, “I wanted to ask Castiel but he’s gay and he doesn’t know women.” Sam looked confused as Dean laughed and then was punched by his boyfriend.

“I may not know women but I know about being in a relationship and how to treat the other person.” He said primly but Sam shook his head.

“Men and women are different and Dean has had sex with women. He knows.” Cas rolled his eyes and flopped back down on the pillow, huffing.

“Ok, Sammy what do you want to know?”

“How do you two work so well? I’ve seen some of my friends who are boyfriend girlfriend and they are uncomfortable and they break up. But you won’t,” Dean froze for a second but Sam didn’t reveal his secret.

“Well there are a few things you can do. First is talk, Cas and I talk all the time about what we want and don’t want and we try as hard as we can to give the other what they want. Like Cas wanted nail polish so I got him some.”

Cas nodded, “And Dean wanted to get these tattoos so we got them.” Sam nodded.

“What about sex?” Cas looked at Dean.

“Yes, _Dean_ , what is sex with a woman like?” Dean pushed at his stupid boyfriend’s stupid face.

“What do you want to know about sex?” _Please don’t ask how to have it, I barely remember_ Dean prayed.

“How do you know if it’s good for the other person?” _Thank God._

“Ok well you can ask,” Dean started.

“I’m not going to stop having sex with Jess to ask if she likes it.” Sam narrowed his eyes. “What if she doesn’t like that I have to stop to ask?”

“Well then you’ll have to read her body language.” Sam looked a bit sick, reading body language was the hardest thing for him. It was near impossible which was why he had his face cards and notes reminding him different emotions. “Hey it isn’t hard,” Dean assured. “Here,” he pushed at Cas.

“We’re not having sex!” Cas squawked.

“No we’re not, but work with me here.” He looked up at Sam who seemed to want to take notes. “Ok see how I’m holding Cas?” Sam nodded.

“That’s how you were holding him in your sleep.”

“Yeah because I know Cas likes to sleep on his back and I like to sleep on my side holding him.”

“How did you know that?”

“Well because we’ve slept together for a long time and I’ve watched him, however he starts out he always ends up on his back.” Sam nodded again that reasoning was simple enough. “Ok so we’re gonna find out what Cas likes without asking him.” He looked down at his boyfriend. “Just relax and trust me,” Cas nodded.

Dean started by pecking at Cas’s shoulder with his lips, he was like a chicken just kissing quickly up and down. He stopped and looked up at Sam.

“See now I can tell he doesn’t like that, what happened?”

“You kissed but he didn’t do anything.”

“Exactly,” Dean motioned to Cas’s arms which were still at his sides. “See he’s not touching me. I’m the one holding him and he’s just lying there. So I know not to do that kind of kissing anymore because he isn’t reacting, it doesn’t feel good for him.”

He moved back down and started to slowly kiss all over Cas’s shoulder. His lips lingered and dragged over the skin and he felt Cas’s hand rubbing his bicep and heard a soft sigh. He pulled away again and looked at Sam.

“He touched your arm and made a noise, his eyes closed and he looked happy.”

“Yup, so then I remember to do that next time. And you just keep doing different things and find out what your partner likes.”

“But there’s a lot of different things!”

“Well there’s where it’s fun,” Dean winked down at Cas. “Because you are learning all about the person you love.” Sam sat back and considered it.

“Ok.” He stood, “Castiel can I wear your dress today?” Cas nodded. Sam smiled and left.

“You know I could have told him all of that, that had nothing to do with sex with women,” Cas muttered disgruntledly.

“I know sweetheart, but you know Sam, because you are so very, very, very, very gay he just can’t trust anything you say about love and sex.” Cas rolled his eyes and hit his boyfriend again.

“I’m going to shower.”

“Mm-hmm,” Dean fell back on his pillow. “And I’m going to nap.”

He was wrapped in Cas’s warmth and smell when he was gently prodded awake.

“Hey, baby, it’s eight the new campers will be here soon and Bobby has some work for you.” Dean groaned but sat up blearily.

“What are you wearing?” Cas looked down at his very plain very boring jeans and tee-shirt.

“Do you not want me wearing your clothes?”

“No, but,” Dean grabbed  his boyfriend’s wrist and pulled so Cas was straddling him. He ran his hands up and down Cas’s sides. “You just look really uncomfortable,” it was true, even in his favorite position on his boyfriend’s lap Cas looked squirmish in the clothes.

“Yes, but I don’t want,” he grabbed Dean’s hands and connected them with his over the man’s stomach. “I don’t want to drive away Bobby’s business.”

“The only way you would drive away Bobby’s business is sending them to the shopping mall so they can buy whatever you’re wearing,” Dean said firmly.

“No, Dean,” Cas looked up hard. “You know there are going to be those who will leave.”

“Well then…Bobby won’t want their business anyway.” Cas looked at him dryly, “Ok so Bobby and me talked while you and Sammy were playing sleeping beauties in the back of the car. He said that everyone is going to have a knee jerk reaction to your clothes, they’re gonna stare and they may be surprised. But, he said, it’s what comes after that first shock. If they accept you then they’re great people, if not…then you don’t need them around, but,” he sighed, “We can’t judge everyone for that instant reaction. We have to give them a chance to rise above,” he leaned up and kissed Cas softly. “Ok?”

“Ok,” Cas nodded.

“And Cas,” Dean wouldn’t let his boyfriend leave just yet. “Don’t forget your makeup.”

“I would think you would say I’m beautiful without it.” Cas riled, his tone dangerous.

“You’re beautiful every single second of the day with or without makeup.” Dean said firmly. “But makeup makes you happy, doesn’t it?” Cas nodded slowly. “Then you’ll be happier when you put it on and that’s what I want. You don’t need it,” Dean kissed Cas’s makeup free cheek. “But you _like_ it, so don’t ever stop doing something you like.” Cas nodded again his confidence returning.

“I thought you would have said I looked sexy in your clothes.” He teased as he went to the closet.

“Well,” Dean came up behind still butt naked. “You’re always sexy, but no, these clothes, no not that sexy.”

“Why?”

“Because you’re clearly uncomfortable. I know those jeans look good on me because I’m comfortable wearing them, but the sparkle dress would look like shit on me because I’d be uncomfortable. The tee-shirt is cute though.”

Cas smiled and nodded, he dropped his pants and Dean whistled. “Well I couldn’t give that up.” Dean ran an appreciative hand on the cream lace panties.  Cas grabbed a sky blue skirt and slipped it on but refused to give Dean his tee-shirt. The man just rolled his eyes and took a long look up and down.

“See now that’s sexy.” He murmured and then went to the closet to find his grunge jeans and shirt.

“Are you going to shower?” Cas was at the mirror in the corner and working on his makeup.

“Nah, knowing Bobby he saved the big maintenance stuff for when I got here so he has extra hands. I’d just shower and then get all sweaty and need another shower.” He grabbed another tank top of Cas’s and slid it on. “You should get more of these.”

“Well you keep wearing them all!”

“Hey, sweetheart I’m going to be outside in the hot as your ass sun out there and you get to be in air conditioning, I _deserve_ this tank top.”

“And the fact that it shows of your tattoo…that makes no difference at all?” Cas teased as he finished his cat’s eye.

“Well yeah that makes a difference, this tattoo is damn sexy I have to show the world.”

“Mm-hmm,” Cas finished his lipstick and looked to find his boyfriend holding up his sandals. “Thank you,” Dean laced his boots up and they walked out hand in hand. They had a quick breakfast as Bobby outlined what he needed done and Dean shot a knowing look at his boyfriend. Bobby needed four roofs fixed and the swimming pool filter needed to be drained and some kind of cap replaced.

“Do you have enough cabins for everyone coming today?” Bobby looked at Sam who looked at his list and nodded. “Then I’ll do the pool first, we can do the roofs this afternoon and tomorrow.”

They finished breakfast and Dean kissed his boyfriend quickly and went off to his job. It was _domestic_ and amazing, Cas decided as he worked with Sam behind the desk.

He didn’t see any trace of Dean for hours as he welcomed guests and took them around the campsite. Bobby had both permanent cabins and a place for tents so Cas walked three families to cabins and four more to the campsite where they’d set up their tents.

There were looks and a few shocked faces but after hearing Dean’s words this morning Cas was able to cope easily. Everyone was kind and happy after their initial look of shock and Cas understood what Dean had tried to tell him. If he had reacted with anger just as instantly as they had looked with shock then everyone would have left angry and them believing all transvestites were awful and different and Cas thinking no one would accept him. So it was nice.

What was shocking was Sam.

It wasn’t as if he was a completely different person but there was an ease to him that Cas had never seen. He even left and pulled Bobby bringing the man in to watch. Sam interacted with people, he didn’t stim, he did clench the desk hard and his sentences were clipped but he didn’t have to run through his normal routine meeting these new people and he didn’t break down after they left.

It was so good that when Cas left to bring Dean a sandwich Sam actually checked in a couple on their honeymoon on his own without Bobby or Cas in the room.

“Hey,” Dean looked up from the pool filter that was in about thirty pieces in the workroom. He was covered in sweat and oil and grease and Cas had never seen a sexier thing in his life.

“Shit,” he grabbed Dean roughly and pulled them so they were at an open worktable. He kissed roughly and felt Dean’s frantic hands on him. Then he was lifted up and set hard on the table his legs opened instantly and Dean was between their chests flush and kissing like the world was ending. “Fuck,” Cas murmured when they’d finally broken away and were panting heavily. “Don’t ever shower, look like that always.”

Then they just had to kiss again, learning that one of Dean’s or Cas’s (did it matter) kinks was Cas’s messy lipstick shared between them.

“So did you bring me lunch or did you just come to suck my face off?” Dean joked.

“Are you complaining?” Cas asked primly as Dean helped him off the table.

“Never,” Dean kissed his cheek, “Always greet me like that.” Cas pulled out of the paper sack two sandwiches and bottles of pop and a bag of chips.

“So I think you might have been a genius when you made me feel better yesterday.” They were sitting outside behind the garage, Cas wasn’t in Dean’s lap but his legs were neatly folded over Dean’s thighs.

“Oh? You didn’t think I was a genius before?”

“Well for asking me to be your boyfriend.”  Dean laughed and ate some chips. “No, um, you should take a look but Sam…he’s different. He’s been wearing my sundress all day and he’s calmer. He’s in the office right now checking in two strangers and he’s all by himself.”

“What?”

“He’s been doing it all day, he’s talking to people, he’s not stimming, he’s nervous but he’s dealing with it really well.”

“Um, wow,” Dean ate more of his sandwich. “If I can figure out this damn pool filter I’ll come and check it out.”

“What’s wrong with the damn pool filter?” And they spent the rest of lunch hearing Dean go on and on about filters and engines and oil and Cas fell harder in love.

He did have to run back to the cabin and fix his lipstick, Dean was fine to stay like that but Cas was greeting people and nothing says heavy make out session like mussed up lipstick and oil fingerprints on his arms.

“Hey Castiel,” Sam greeted, “You have an oil stain on your skirt.”

“Oh I must have bumped into something when I had lunch with Dean.”

“It looks like a handprint.” Well that says heavy make out session too.

So a life was made. All four were busy, this was the most booked time of the year for Bobby and he was grateful for his nephews. Usually he had to hire out high school students but he liked keeping it in the family. Sam decided very early on he didn’t like doing the books and accounting so that was left to Bobby as Cas and Dean worked on the cabins. And the older man was impressed, he thought the couple would be off sticking their tongues in each other’s mouths any chance they got, but actually the two worked really well together.

So well in fact that the four cabins in need of new roofs not only got that but skylights as well thanks to the engineer and architect in training.

“I think next year right at the beginning of the summer we should shut down for a week and redo the cabins. You think you could design some way of sprucing these up?” Bobby turned to Cas as they looked at the last cabin and it’s new skylight.

“Sure, it’d be fun and I can put it in my portfolio.” Dean and Sam groaned Cas talked about his damn portfolio all the time.

“Dean, Castiel it’s laundry night so bring your sheets and clothes to the wash room.” Sam reminded. He’d drawn up a schedule and it was his turn to do the laundry.

“Must be hard with all those sheets you have to wash,” Bobby guffawed, “You know from three beds.” He laughed harder when Dean and Cas tried to look prim.

“No, but they use a lot of towels when they go swimming at night.” Dean’s face went red and Cas just pushed a palm over his eyes as Bobby laughed even harder.

“I don’t know how much of that is swimming.” Bobby laughed, “What time are we leaving tomorrow?” He turned to Sam, they’d been in Sioux Falls for four weeks and while Cas and Dean had two more weeks before they left for Seattle, Sam had to go back to their parents and pack his things for Boston.

“Eight is fine, Jess is coming to help me pack at two. She’s been out in Boston and she found us an apartment.”

“Are you sure you’re ok staying here?” Dean asked that night after they’d gone for a swim and they were back in bed. They’d all talked and Bobby was on board with Sam living with Jess but he warned Sam his parents would need convincing. Dean said he would go back and help and Cas offered too, weakly, he still knew whatever he said would be flatly ignored or the opposite would be taken up immediately. John didn’t want to agree with anything Cas did or said, so it was better he stayed behind. Bobby understood and before Cas had a chance to vent his worries the older man said he needed someone to stay back and watch over the resort. Cas jumped at the offer and was grateful.

“Yeah I’ll be fine. I’m just sorry I can’t see him off.”

“I think he’ll be ok, he took half your sundresses by the way.”

“When?”

“When you were checking out the couple from cabin four,” Cas laughed. “I think he thought you would say no or something. He told me about it too.” Sam hadn’t been wearing dresses all the time like Cas, they were more a coping mechanism. When he felt crowded or nervous he’d slip on a sundress and his feelings would be ebbed. “He, um, said how happy they made you and he wanted the same. He said he feels like people look at the dress more than him so it gives him a chance to calm down and think of what he wants to say next.”

“Wow, I didn’t think he paid that much attention to me.”

“Sweetheart you’ve been his hero since that day in the park. He was terrified of meeting you we could barely get him in the car. Then you came up to him and he stimmed and you mirrored him and he felt at ease. He took to you instantly and he’s looked up to you ever since. He told me in the car ride home he wanted to be just like Castiel. I think he’s still pissed at me for getting everyone to call you Cas, but then he loves he’s the only one who calls you by your full name.” Cas frowned and took it all in. Sure he made it his job to watch over his brother…but being Sam’s hero? He wasn’t special, he wasn’t a hero, he was the opposite if he looked at himself from other people’s perspective. He was a transvestite, and gay, and he wore makeup, and he wasn’t anything special.

Dean watched his best friend sort through his thoughts and he kissed Cas’s forehead lightly.

“Sweetheart you’re special, you’re a hero to Sam and to me.”

“What?” Cas looked doubtful. Dean ran a hand through brown hair with blue tips.

“I wake up every day hoping I can be worthy in your eyes. I see you walk around completely fearless of who you are and what you like. You’ve known all your life this was who you were and you knew that people would have issues with it but you grabbed it anyway. You wouldn’t let anyone bring you down and you could be angry about it but you aren’t. You could have been pissed at that girl yesterday for asking all those questions but you answered them and you were amazing. So don’t think that you’re nothing special or you don’t deserve to have someone look at you like you hung the moon.” Cas blushed and kissed the chest he was currently laying across.

“Well you’re still my hero.”

“Nah, I’m not special like you, or different, I’ve kept the same look I’ve had since I was ten.”

“Yes, but…” Cas looked down and then back up, “I think that’s why I love you so much and I’m so grateful to you. I mean look at me, well not now as I’m not wearing anything,” Dean smirked, “But a year ago, even eight months ago I was sitting in my room looking at fashion magazines and wishing I could wear those clothes. I always thought I was a transvestite but I’d never been able to be one. Then one day I just went out and did it. And then I saw you and you were so supportive and comforting.  So I kept changing, I kept doing the things I wanted and you kept me grounded. You were supportive and unchanging through it all and I needed that.”

“So you’re fine I’m only going to wear jeans and tee-shirts the rest of my life?”

“When you aren’t wearing my tank tops?” Cas smirked. “Yes.” They rolled into sleeping positions and fell into a dream shortly thereafter.

Cas waved them off the next morning, Sam was in a blue sundress and Cas had hugged him hard.

“Study hard, read a lot, love Jess, and try new things.” Sam nodded. “And don’t go all rouge like the doctors on _Grey’s Anatomy_ if I need any surgery I’m gonna want you and you need a medical license for that.” Sam laughed and hugged Cas again. “Be sure to send me pictures of your new apartment and email me every other day.”

“You too, and take pictures of your apartment with Dean and Benny, and study hard, and read books, and design buildings that won’t fall down and love Dean. Castiel?”

“Yeah?”

“I have to talk to Jess because she will be my living together not roommate but would you and Dean like to spend Christmas break with us in Boston?”

“That sounds great! You let me know what Jess wants.” Sam nodded and beamed.

Cas waved to them again and kissed Dean as he hung out the window.

“Good luck and text me when you get there! Bobby I promise not to burn the camp down.”

“I wrote how to fix the pool filter down, it’s on a notecard on the work bench. Oh and if the breaker goes you know where the box is, and if you lose—”Cas kissed his boyfriend again in silence.

“I’ll see you in two days, love you.” Dean’s face turned into an embarrassed smile as he swung around to face his brother and uncle.

“Lovesick puppy,” Bobby muttered and they all waved goodbye to Cas.

 


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> After these depressing two weeks we need something good and happy. Currently I'm enjoying my favorite cup of tea, a warm fire, and watching the snow gently drift down outside my office window. I hope in the time to come we all can find little moments of peace like this.

Five days later Cas was ready to climb the walls. He wanted to shut the camp down and drive in Bobby’s old Chevy Impala the five hours south to get to where his family was, but the texts from Bobby stopped him. Apparently there was some drama going on and Bobby warned it was best that as few members of the family were involved.

After day seven Cas was ready to say fuck family drama he wanted to know what was going on.

Bobby came home on day nine.

Alone.

“Bobby?” Cas rushed out of the office, the family he was checking in looked in surprise but Cas paid them no mind.

“Hey Cas, finish your work and then I’ll fill you in.”

“Fill me in now.”

“No. Because you’re gonna start shouting and those people are going to hear.” Bobby crossed his arms in a clear I’m-older-than-you-so-don’t-mess-with-me look.

“Fine,” Cas practically stomped back in the office and plastered on a smile. He checked the family in as quickly as possible, gave them maps of the hiking trails and slipped in a brochure for a day spa which the mother looked grateful for.

“Ok what happened?” Bobby had taken his rucksack out of the back of his pickup. “Where’s Dean?”

“He’s in Boston. Sam ran away.”

“What?!”

“See, now I told you  you would yell.” Bobby sighed. “We got there nine days ago and we had worked out a strategy, we were going to be calm and Sam was prepared for words concerning his dress. He asked that Dean and I didn’t punch because ‘Castiel didn’t punch’ so we agreed.” Cas nodded. “It went downhill as soon as we opened the front door.” Bobby scrubbed his face.

“Yelling?”

“That’s putting it mildly. They yelled at Sam for his dress, Dean for his tattoos, me for taking them all, you for being the cause of all this.”

“Shit.”

“Yeah, shit.” Bobby went in the back office and poured two glasses of whisky. “But through it all Dean and I, there was no punching I was proud especially the way he feels about you. Sam was quiet, he didn’t stim but I could tell he wanted to run. When Jess showed up Sam went out and talked to her and then she left after a while. He came back but went upstairs and locked himself in. Wouldn’t open the door for me or Dean or anyone. Dean even offered to call you but Sam just refused. He came out the next day and told his parents he was leaving for Boston and he was going with Jess.”

“And of course that didn’t go over well.”

“Understatement,” Bobby finished off his glass and poured another, he nudged the glass at Cas. “I know you’ve drank before, boy, but this is the only one I’m giving you.” Cas nodded and sipped at the dark liquid. “So there’s another fight but again Sam is strangely calm. Like freakishly calm. He didn’t break anything, he didn’t stim. He stated calmly what he wanted. When they said no he went back to his room. He did that for five days, Dean and I tried to reason with him, with your parents, hell Dean even went to Jess’s house and brought her over but nothing worked. Finally four days ago Sam comes out says again he’s going to Boston and he’s living with Jess your parents said no and he said ‘I have given you the chance to come around, you still have said no.’ Then he went back in his room.”

“Shit,” Cas finished his drink in one searing gulp. “I told him to do that, I told him he had to at least give mom and dad a chance to come around.” Bobby filled Cas’s glass.

“So we all went to bed thinking we’ll go through the same routine the next day. But then Sam doesn’t come down, doesn’t come down, doesn’t come down, finally Dean went up there and the door was unlocked. The room was totally empty and a note was on the bed.”

“What did it say?”

“I’m not sorry, don’t look for me.” Cas’s heart sank and terror grabbed at him. “So Dean called Jess and they went to the airport and went to Boston. Dean texted me yesterday saying they found him and got him to calm down. I guess he called your friend Jo and got her to take all his stuff and put it in a U-Haul then he rode out there with her and paid for her plane ticket back to Kansas.”

“So what now?”

“Well Dean’s trying to convince Sam to at least tell your parents he’s ok but the boy won’t budge.” Bobby opened his mouth to say more but Cas already had his phone out and he was dialing Sam’s number.

“Castiel I’m not going back home.”

“I didn’t call to tell you that,” Cas rubbed his face. “I called to make sure you’re ok.”

“I’m fine, I register tomorrow and Jess went home to get her things we are going to be living together not roommates.” Cas heard the firmness in Sam’s voice. He was not going to budge on this topic.

“Ok, well I’m not going to stop you. You can live together with Jess.”

“Not roommates.”

“Not roommates,” Cas agreed. “Can I at least call mom and dad and let them know you’re ok?”

“No.”

“Why?”

“Because they will know where I’m at.”

“Sam I think they’ll know when they get the bill from Boston saying you’ve registered.” Sam was stonily silent. “Ok what if I get them to promise they won’t come out to Boston and you can live together not roommates with Jess? What if I get them to promise that before I tell them where you are?”

“If they promise you can tell them.”

“Ok, I’m going to call them right now, ok?”

“Ok.” Cas sighed heavily as he hung up. Bobby watched as his nephew’s face made a grimace and he set his shoulders.

“Mom,” he said when Naomi picked up. “Yes, I know where he is, no I’m not going to tell you.” He paused and Bobby watched this eighteen year old become a man. “No he has some conditions. He wants you to stay in Kansas and not interfere with his life….It’s exactly what’ you’re doing! You are so afraid he’s going to break down and not know what to do you’re terrified to let him leave the house….Yes I know he’s seventeen…yes I know he’s young to live with someone….No he is old enough to handle it. Mom,” Cas dragged out. “He is old enough, he’s known Jess for five years Mom and he just spent six weeks on his own at camp….you know he’s not going to agree to live in the dorms….Well because he wants Jess and you know he will just sit in his dorm and only attend classes and nothing else if he’s by himself. Jess will get him involved and he’ll have a normal life….Well think of it this way you say no to him now, _maybe_ you can get him in the dorms the second he turns eighteen he’s his own person. He will instantly move in with Jess and not only will you have lost this battle you’ll have lost your son. Because if you do this to him now he will never speak to you again,” Cas’s face grimaced as he listened to his mother rant.

“Fine!” He threw his hand up, “No more dresses,” Bobby opened his mouth, there was no way Cas would talk Sam out of wearing dresses, “No more skirts, I won’t wear makeup, I won’t wear anything girly around you again. Will that make you let Sam go?” he rolled his eyes and looked disgusted. “Fine, he’s in Boston, I’ll call him now and talk to him and see if I can get him to call you.” He hung up and started dialing Sam’s number.

“You can’t…” Bobby breathed and Cas glared.

“The hell I can, I already started this I’m not going to bring Sam down too. Sam,” he smiled when his brother picked up. “They won’t come out to Boston and you can live together not roommates with Jess.”

“Thank you Castiel, do you want to talk to Dean?”

“Sure, and I still want pictures of your apartment, and your classes, and campus.”

“Hey sweetheart,” Bobby watched Cas’s face break into the first true smile since he came home.

“Hey baby, is he ok?”

“He’s getting there, we went through every room with the fish and now he’s waiting for Jess to get back. He won’t let me unpack anything because _Jess might want to move it_.” Cas laughed as they heard Sam yelling in the back.

“Well she might!”

“So how long are you staying out there?”

“Jess comes back tomorrow and I have a plane ticket for Sioux Falls the next day.”

“Are you sure you don’t need to stay any longer? He might need  you to…”

“Mother hen,” Dean said softly and Cas quieted. “He’ll be fine, he has Jess.”

“Ok well you better go,” Cas started.

“Yeah, we’re going to tour the city and get takeout menus _for Jess_.” Cas laughed when he heard his brother squawking in the background.

“Ok, I love you.”

“Love you too sweetheart.”

“I don’t want to hear it Bobby,” Cas ran a hand through his hair wearily.

“I wasn’t going to say anything like that, boy, I was just going to say that was a noble thing you did.” Cas sighed again and downed his whisky.

“Oh yeah, real noble dressing the way I should.”

“No, giving up something you love for someone you love.” Cas nodded numbly and sighed again. He hated how quickly his mother agreed once he said he’d dress like a man, he hated that giving up who he was had become a bargaining chip.

“Yeah, thanks Bobby.”

“Hey take the rest of the day off, I’m sure you’ve been working yourself ragged these past few days.” Cas nodded again.

“I’m going to go down to the lake.”

Cas spent pretty much the whole of the next few days at the lake. He wasn’t depressed about himself, and he no longer felt ashamed of who he was. That he worked out. What killed him and made him want to be on his own was that his mother was never going to accept him. He’d held out hope that maybe with enough time gone that Naomi would come around, but no. Naomi had leapt at the chance with eager hope when Cas said he’d give up his skirts and makeup.

So he spent his days at the lake coming to terms with that and finding peace.

“Hey sweetheart,” Dean slipped into the water. He’d been watching the love of his life floating for a while just behind the tree line. When Bobby picked Dean up at the airport the man hadn’t said exactly how Cas had got their parents to agree but Dean knew it was something huge. When he asked Bobby’s mouth went into a thin line and said Dean would have to ask Cas.

“He spends his time down at the lake, I gave him a few days off for running this place without us for so long.” Dean nodded. “You still want to have your special night?”

“Yeah, how about tomorrow Bobby we’ll be leaving the day after.” The older man nodded and didn’t laugh or joke when Dean took off like a rocket when they reached the resort.

“Dean!” Cas splashed around and got water up his nose but he was in his boyfriend’s arms so it hardly mattered. “You’re here! How’s Sam? How’s Jess? Is the apartment totally awful and run down?”

“Hey slow down,” Dean hoisted Cas up so the young man’s legs wrapped around his waist. “Let me look at you.” Cas didn’t look any different. Dean looked for signs to see if Cas was like he was at the beginning of the summer but he didn’t really see any of it. Cas looked sad but he didn’t look as devastated as he was the last time Dean got off a plane.

“What did you promise them?” Dean tried to hold no judgment but Cas still looked guilty out at the canyon.

“That we all would come home for all the major holidays.” He whispered.

“What else Cas?” His boyfriend still refused to meet his eye. “What else Castiel?”

“No dresses,” Cas whispered. “No makeup, no dresses, no girly stuff.”

“Are they?” Dean dropped his lover and swam around in circles. “Are they fucking serious?! So you _being who you fucking are_ is a bargaining chip? Like oh I don’t like his blue eyes we’ll  give him something so he gets rid of them!” Dean yelled so loud his voice echoed off the canyon walls.

“Dean!” Cas yelled just as loud. “ _I_ was the one who brought it up, not them. They were ready to bring Sam back and not even let him go to Boston at all! Mom mentioned trying to press charges against Jess!” That quieted Dean.

“You can’t be ok with this!”

“Of course I’m not fucking ok with this!” Cas shouted even louder than Dean. “I’m a fucking transvestite, that’s who I am! That’s how I was born! But because it’s strange and against nature I can’t be who I fucking am! But I can be with you! Now I may not be able to be who I am around them but Sam is worth it! I will do anything for him because I love him and he is worth it!”

“He’s going to be pissed when he finds out.” Dean ran a tired hand through his wet hair.

“Which is why he’s never going to find out.”

“Oh and how do we explain that when we’re all around the family table for Christmas dinner? He knows how happy makeup and dresses make you Cas, he knows that it’s you. How are we gonna explain it that suddenly you’re in pants and totally uncomfortable?”

“I don’t know.” Cas sighed. “I don’t know and I don’t care. I only have to do it for Thanksgiving, Christmas, and Easter. After that Sam will be eighteen and they won’t have a say.” He swam closer to his boyfriend. “It’s three holidays, three weekends. I can be uncomfortable for three weekends.”

“But still you shouldn’t…”

“No I shouldn’t but it’s them who put me in this position. They were the ones who backed me into a corner, but I’m happy to do it for Sam. If you were in my place would you do the same?” Dean nodded instantly.

“I can understand,” he sighed. “But I can still hate the hell out of it.” Cas kissed his best friend reverently.

“I agree.”

***

“Dean! Cut it out!” Cas laughed as they tried to pack their suitcases. His dumb boyfriend kept taking things out like Cas’s makeup bag or his converse or his sparkle dress.

“Yeah but these should be packed last.” Dean’s eyes went huge. “They _really_ need to be packed last.”

“What do you have planned?” Cas narrowed his eyes. He was feeling a lot better since Dean returned and he had fifty new pictures of Sam and Jess’s apartment and it wasn’t as derelict as he was convinced it would be.

“Nothing,” Dean kissed his boyfriend’s hand with a flourish. “Just, you know, wear that tonight.” With that he took every item of his and stuffed it in one armload into his suitcase and was gone. Cas rolled his eyes, did as his lover asked and saved the few items Dean pulled out. Then he repacked Dean’s suitcase because the mess just bugged him.

At six when he’d still not seen any hint of his boyfriend he dressed and did his makeup carefully. As soon as he was done there was a knock at the door and when Cas went to it he found no one but a path of rose petals. He followed the line for a long time through the woods until he reached the far end of the lake and Dean was there on a forgotten dock in his suit.

A fancy table and candles were set up behind him and Cas just had to smile shyly.

He was so fucking in love with Dean Winchester.

“Now this dinner may not be as fancy as New York.” Dean helped Cas into his chair, “But it was made over an open campfire and smells awesome.”

So they ate and after eating was swimming and after swimming was making love slowly in their cabin. They lay chest to chest as Dean eased his hips and there was nothing but eye contact and kissing and heat and tenderness and perfection.

“Mmm I don’t want to go,” Dean tried to push his face hard in Cas’s neck when the sunshine flowed through their window.

“I do,” Cas chirped and he kissed eagerly. “I want to go and start college and learn and share an apartment with you and Benny and live in Seattle and see all new things.” With that he was out of the bed and at the closet like a shot and no amount of begging or groaning from the love of his life would stop him.

“Up!” Cas laughed.

“No,” Dean tried to pout, he tried crossing his arms, he tried flirting, but nothing would get Cas back in bed.

“Come on, you get up you can feel these.” Cas teased as he twirled a pair of panties around his finger. Dean groaned as he watched his boyfriend ease the lace up and then did a few pin up poses just to tease.

“You are so easy,” Cas laughed as Dean was out of the bed and his flat hand was admiring every inch of the lace.

“Mmm fuck off,” Dean was still sleepy so Cas dressed quickly in a sundress and was out of the cabin. When he came back Dean was dressed and he handed his lover a cup of coffee.

“Thanks,” Dean drank it gratefully as he watched Cas put his makeup on. It was going to be a favorite habit of his, Dean decided, watching the love of his life put his makeup on. Cas made all these funny faces and he concentrated so hard that Dean was content just to sit and watch and say nothing.

“Ready?” Cas looked over the room to be sure nothing was missing or left over and they were ready to go.

“I’ve been meaning to give you these.” Bobby came out with a key ring and handed them to Dean. “Your mother, your first mother, she bought that car for me and now I think it’s time her son drove it.” They looked at the black Chevy Impala that Dean had eyed enviously for years.

“Bobby…”

“Don’t tell me I can’t, son, because I already did, deed’s in the car and it’s got yours and Cas’s name on it.” With that their uncle pulled them both into a bear hug. “I was serious about you redesigning my cabins, Cas, work on it over the year and we can look at the plans at Christmas.” None said  a word about what Cas would be wearing at Christmas but they all thought it.

“Thank you Bobby,” they all hugged again and then loaded up the car that Dean could only run his hands reverently over.

“Should I be worried?” Cas joked from the passenger seat as they waved Bobby away.

“About?”

“Well I thought you would only touch me with that kind of love.” Dean just ignored his boyfriend admired the interior of the car and as soon as she was out on the highway and purring he moaned softly.

“Yes, Cas,” Dean looked over as his boyfriend looked up from a book on architecture, “You should be worried.” Cas just rolled his eyes and dove back down in his book. “Although, if she promises not to be too jealous…” Cas looked up again and Dean was grinning like an idiot and looking pointedly at his open arm across the back of the bench seat.

“You are such a dork,” Cas grinned and slid into the arm getting all kinds of comfortable, “But I love you,” he murmured his book back open and he lost himself.

Dean was lost in the beam splitting his face in two. His boyfriend was warming his side, his boyfriend was starting a new part of his life and becoming more and more who he wanted to be. Cas was moving away from the pain their parents created and every so often he would feel his heart swell with pride that he was taking care of the love of his life.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok just kidding, that was a lot of pain wasn't it? I'm sorry that the world is like this but unfortunately people like Cas have to deal with hatred like this all the time. But I hope everyone who has experienced pain as Cas is that you have a Dean there to be accepting and more than generous with their love.


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well this has been a while, hasn't it?! Much love to all my faithful readers out there and thanks for putting up with me and my slow ass!

“Is that the city? Is that the city?!” Cas was practically vibrating in Dean’s arm and his lover just laughed.

“Yeah, we should get to the apartment in about half an hour.” He navigated the city and couldn’t stop smiling and laughing when it seemed Cas’s energy kept increasing.

When they successfully made it to the apartment Cas looked like a puppy about to wet himself and while the younger man totally denied it, Dean totally swore he heard a small squeak from his boyfriend.

“Hey come on it’s just a crappy building.” He grabbed a few bags from the trunk and watched as his lover looked at the building as if it were the Taj Mahal or the walls were made of solid gold.

“Nope,” Cas beamed at him as he grabbed suitcases too. “It’s our _home_.” And an innocent smile spread all across Dean’s face.

And suddenly the crappy building looked a whole lot better.

“Yeah, it is.” They knew they probably looked like idiots looking at this building with crazy, happy grins on their faces. They buzzed the apartment and walked up three flights and Benny was in the hall with their arms wide and smiling at them.

“You made it! I didn’t think you would!” They took a bag from each man’s hand and they all trouped into the apartment. An open kitchen looked out over a living room and the two bedrooms stood side by side off of it. A bathroom was off to the left next to the front door and the place was furnished cheaply but nice.

“We ran into some family trouble.” Dean huffed as he started to walk back.

“Nope, brother, I put you two in the other room.” Cas carried his heavy cases back and found the room filled with boxes and a modest double bed.

“No way! You get the big room with the bathroom.” Dean started but Benny thinned their lips.

“I know we talked about it but I don’t need the bigger room.”

“Yeah but we’re having sex. We’re gonna have a lot of sex, we agreed because of sex you’d get the big room.”

“And that’s why I put you in the big room. After you have sex,” Benny swallowed and looked a bit sick, “You’re gonna need to, um, clean up. And I don’t want to be seeing any of that out in the living room and you’d have to cross over to use the bathroom.” Dean glared but Cas placed a hand on his shoulder.

“We can keep everything in our room. Is it ok for us to kiss out here or would you rather we kept it to ourselves?”

“Are you gonna take it too far?” Dean just grumbled about the rooms and went back out to grab more bags.

“We’ll keep it respectful.”

“I won’t have a problem then, sugar,” Benny smiled.

“How was the rest of your summer? Did you hear anything from your parents?”

“Nah,” Cas hugged them hard. “It’s ok, I, um, thought about it a lot over the summer and kind of have made my peace.” Cas nodded.

“Me too, it was hard but it finally got to a point where I just realized they were never going to accept me so it was easier to let go than try and hold on to a shred of hope.”

“Yeah you said family drama.” Cas shushed him when they heard Dean come back.

“You know,” he bellowed, “Since _I’m_ carrying all this shit up the stairs I deserve a reward.” Cas made a face and went to the front door and took the bags as Dean went down for the final load.

“Fine princess!” Benny was still waiting for him when he came back. “Long story short our brother ran away and I had to promise to come home for the next three holidays…in pants.” He cringed and waited for the bellow but Benny sighed quietly and looked terribly sad.

“I’m sorry,” they ran a hand through their hair. “At least I can hid behind the façade of a man, it’s terrible you have to hide who you really are.”

“You shouldn’t have to hide, Benny.”

“Well it makes it easier, nah what you do is far braver.” Cas shook his head.

“No telling someone you really care about who you really are and not hiding, that’s brave.”

“Well then let’s just call us big damn heroes.” They both laughed and went to help a bitching Dean.

“Oh so I do all the heavy lifting and you just are sitting back laughing and having a tea party!” he huffed and went into their room.

“Relax,” Cas followed him and Benny trailed behind. “We have the rest of the day to unpack and then classes tomorrow!” He started jumping. “Shit! Fuck! And Shit! I don’t have textbooks!” Benny held out their hand.

“List.” Cas found his backpack amongst boxes and bags. Benny swiped it and waved off. “I’ll get some good ones.” Cas watched, opening and closing his mouth.

“It’s a gift.” Dean laughed when he heard Benny yell the same thing and then he looked at his boyfriend with a fiery light. “Come here.”

“No, Dean!” Cas giggled as arms came around him. “We can’t have sex!”

“I wasn’t saying sex, sweetheart, we can’t even see the bed. No, come on there’s something I want to do.” Cas allowed himself to be dragged along until Dean got to the front door. He opened it and pulled Cas out into the dingy hall. “We have to do this proper.” Then he picked up his boyfriend, sundress, fedora, and all, bridal style and with a flourish and a kiss crossed the threshold.

“Oooh, me too!” Cas giggled as they kissed while Dean dropped him gently down. They repeated the process with Dean in Cas’s arms kissing like idiots and grinning like dorks.

“I love you so much,” Dean murmured, he was still in Cas’s arms while his own arms were wrapped around his boyfriend’s neck.

“Mmm back at you Winchester.”

They started on the clothes and Dean laughed hard at the squeak of surprise from the love of his life when Cas found the small walk in closet. They unpacked, though both had to hide their panties from the other or else they’d never finish. They found Cas’s dresser fit in the walk in so they had a nice open space at the foot of their bed. Most of Cas’s boxes were filled with posters and books which went out on the book case lining one wall of the living room. Benny and Dean had moved their stuff in before the end of last year’s term so it was really just Cas’s.

And boy did Dean fall even harder in love when he was out in the living room unpacking Cas’s books on Frank Lloyd Wright and he heard excited noises and Cas came out and dragged his boyfriend back into their room. wordlessly he pointed at the final, large box on their bed. It was the drafting table Dean had gotten him for his birthday and Cas beaming and looking at his lover in excitement.

“You want me to build that for you, don’t you?” Cas looked adorable and Dean just had to kiss all over the side of his face. “Fine, but you’re cooking dinner. And I want a fashion show. Oooh and—” he was cut off with a kiss.

“I love you.” Cas moved away and went out to the kitchen. Dean grinned shyly down at the box and started pulling out pieces. “Dude, what did Benny eat all summer? There’s nothing here!” Cas came back and grabbed his satchel. “I’m going to the place around the corner.” Dean mumbled something but Cas could see he was in hard core build mode.

He went to the smallish grocery store and picked up everything to make burgers and a few extra staples. He also found a classifieds book and grabbed that on his way out. Because of his portfolio and school work he had an amazing scholarship but he knew as soon as he put on that first skirt he was never going to see a dime from his parents for school. While he was waiting in line he wondered if he and Dean could work out a way to work at a club again. Then he added to his mental list to get a bank account and deposit those checks from Crowley, he also needed to get a planner to… there were a million things. He was grateful for the car from Bobby but it took three times longer to drive back than fly so all the things he’d planned were pushed into one afternoon.

But as he got into their apartment and heard Dean working away in the back room and Benny watching tv he realized he had nothing to complain about.  

“Hey sorry I didn’t pick up food…” Cas waved him off.

“I got a ton, we should get some sticky notes for the fridge so we know what to pick up. that shop around the corner is really nice.” Benny nodded. “Did you find my books?”

“Yeah, got some real gems.”

“Sorry it was so late, I bet it was pretty picked over.” Benny grinned and helped Cas unload the food.

“Nah, I liked it, all the other times I go so early there’s hardly any challenge for me. This was fun.” Cas just laughed and started cooking. Benny helped cut things and they caught up and just found they really worked well together. The last time they’d met it’d been only for a day and the time before Cas was so wrapped around Dean (quite literally) they never really had a chance to get to know one another.

“So you don’t mind if Dean and I have sex? I want to know what will make you comfortable.”

“I’m going to be comfortable if you are comfortable. It’s your home too Cas.”

“I know, but I just…”

“Don’t just anything. It’s all our home and I know you two are going to be disgusting and cute all the damn time. But I also know you two have never gotten the chance to be disgusting and cute all the damn time. And I know the hard shit your parents have put you through. So I want you two to be comfortable and not feel the need to walk on egg shells around me. Just, you know, no sex on the public spaces.” Cas laughed.

“That’s fair. We’ll try not to be loud.”

“Oh hell I know you’ll _try_.” They both giggled when they heard Dean make a loud grunt. “Point proven!” They bent over and laughed as the man in question walked out to the kitchen. Seeing the slightly sweaty dumbfounded look on Dean’s face made them laugh harder and Cas wiped the tears from his eyes.

“You two are going to be the annoying roommates who have an inside joke for everything and always making fun of me aren’t you?” Cas laughed as Benny nodded. “Whatever, well at least you two can cook.” He whined when Cas slapped his hand away from the food.

“It’ll be ready in a bit, I just wish we had a grill…”

“You made your burgers?!” Dean’s smile was wide. “His burgers are amazing. He makes this dry rub and he won’t tell anyone what’s in it but it’s awesome.”

“Well we have a small grill on the deck.” Cas followed Benny and the being and boyfriend laughed at yet another noise of surprise from the young man.

“This is awesome!” he turned back and yelled at his boyfriend, “Dean! Did you know we had a deck?! We can see the Space Needle from here!” He yelled again for Dean to get his damn fucking hands out of the food and Benny just smiled on knowing they were going to love their roommates.

True to Dean’s promise Cas’s burgers were spectacular and despite Dean and Benny both trying to get the recipe Cas was able to make the rub without either noticing.

“You better not leave that rub lying around, we are all college students we could take that to a lab to be analyzed. They all laughed and everyone ate another burger, though when Dean was tucking into his third he laughed hard again when he saw Cas’s eyes hanging on their bedroom door.

“You wanna see your table, don’t you?” Cas smiled shyly.

“Maybe…” Dean waved his hand and Cas and Benny were off like a shot. Following behind with his plate and burger Dean leaned on the doorway feeling like he could taste joy (quite literally, he _was_ eating Cas’s burger), but it was pure joy when Cas looked at him and said thank you. He played with the moveable right angle rulers opened the pencil drawers five times, and squeaked when he turned on the long bar lamp running the length of the table. Dean nearly dropped his plate when Cas tackled him and hugged his neck hard.

“You like it?” he laughed.

“Yes, yes, yes,” Cas giggled and smiled and beamed and he felt like he was going to be ripped in two he was so full of love and happiness. And it wasn’t just the table (come on it was a _table_ ) it was the fact that Dean built for him. It was the fact that now here was tangible proof that he and Dean were officially out. It was the fact that this was now their home. It was the fact that now they had hard proof they were staying together forever. Apartments and homes may change but that drafting table was going to follow them the rest of their lives.

“Benny, I’ll clean up tomorrow but I have to reward this fabulous man,” Cas smirked and the being threw their hands up.

“It’s fine, you cooked I’m ok with cleaning.”

“Don’t test my dry rub!” Cas called as Benny shut their door. But once the door was shut they both forgot everything but one another. Cas slowly turned and pushed Dean so he could sit on the stool that came with the drafting table. Dean started to put his half-finished burger and plate on the floor but Cas stopped him.

“I have to get ready and you need a snack.” He murmured and turned. He grabbed a few choice items, all that Dean hadn’t seen, and shoved them up his shirt. Then he went into the bathroom and shut the door.

If this was going to be a fashion show he needed to have fresh makeup.

Thinking back Cas thought the perfect picture would have been if he had had his high heels. The high boots that zipped up just above his knees and that made his boyfriend literally drool when he got to zip them down with his teeth.

He also thought he was an idiot in thinking that Dean would have let him go and change into another item for their fashion show.

“That wasn’t much of a show if you have sex with me after every outfit.” One of Cas’s stockings was still neat and where it was supposed to be while the other pooled down at his feet.

“When you come out looking like that I must worship every millimeter of your skin.” Dean said primly. “Besides, are you complaining?”

“Hell no, just means I still have two new things to show you.” Dean looked up and brightened.

“You have things I haven’t seen?” When Cas nodded Dean looked like Disneyworld, Christmas, Easter, and four kinds of pie all rolled into one. Cas grunted when he was pushed off the bed and towards the bathroom.

“Fine, but no sex, I really want to have a good night’s sleep before classes start tomorrow.” Dean rolled his eyes and nodded while making a get-in-that-bathroom-now-if-you-know-what’s-good-for-you gesture with his hand.

Rolling back on the bed Dean closed his eyes and replayed every second since Cas walked out of that bathroom.

His makeup was fierce as hell and made his blue eyes shine. The dark eyeshadow had been painted in a line across his face and while it was different Dean was turned on. Cas looked like a dangerous don’t-fuck-with-me dominatrix and the picture that would have made him come in his freaking pants were if Cas had on those knee high boots and a riding crop. Wait would Cas be up for that…?

Cas was wearing a black lace dress that had see-through lace running along both sides. The dress was just long enough that Dean couldn’t see the world’s greatest cock, _damn_ , but Cas was wearing those dark fishnets that hooked into the bottom of the dress with garter straps, _score_. And while Dean would be insanely jealous if Cas were to leave the apartment dressed like this, he was having a hard time seeing the whole for-my-eyes-only-sex- _will_ -be-happening-when-I-get-out-of-this part of the getup.

Then Cas ever so slowly turned around and Dean _choked._

Breathing, spit, noise, everything was gone when he saw the back.

Or rather the two strings crisscrossing each other and nothing else back.

And Cas wasn’t wearing panties.

His ass was neatly and _holy fuck_ sexily showed off between the strings holding the black lace together. Aaaand he started sputtering again when he saw the two neat strings were tied in a tidy bow at the base of the dress.

Just beneath Cas’s ass.

As soon as he stopped choking on his spit Dean moaned when Cas backed up closer so Dean could really inspect the dress.

“See anything you like?” Cas whispered and fucking damn that _nearly_ made Dean come in his pants.

“Are you fucking kidding?” he reached out tentatively as if he touched the black fabric it would all disappear taking Cas with it. When nothing vanished Dean set to work reverently running his hands over everything he could touch. “You are so fucking beautiful.”

Cas jumped slightly when Dean bent down and started kissing his shoulders. He sighed when the lips paused but his breath quickened when the lips started kissing and snapping the strings holding this whole dress together. He started pushing back on the mouth as it neared the base of his spine and this time they both were so horny that there was no teasing or smirking torture. Dean sure as hell was going to enjoy the fuck out of this but when Cas pressed his ass into his chin and let out a whispered _please_ there was no way in hell Dean was going to pause in giving his lover exactly what he wanted.

“Dean,” Cas begged when the lips and tongue kissed and licked between the strings but only as far as the black strips would allow.

“I know sweetheart,” vibrated through him and Cas gasped when he felt the bow starting to come undone.

Dean was like a fucking kid at Christmas as he tugged at the strands with his teeth. Every time he pulled a new part loose he rewarded his hard work by licking and kissing the new skin hard. When he was about halfway up his hands, which had been good and held on to the chair arms he was sitting in, moved slowly and flicked the garter straps holding the stockings up. Then one hand (it totally had a mind of its own, Dean was going to have to talk to it) snaked up the dress and started pumping at Cas’s cock. The other was more polite and it reached up the incredibly loose dress and started playing with nipple studs.

“Oh fuck, Dean,” Cas keened his body arching in a beautiful shape. On the one hand he wanted to press back and feel those teeth and lips, and on the other those magic fingers were astounding on his nipples, and on the other hand he wanted to fuck Dean’s fist. Fortunately, Dean was nearly finished pulling the strings loose and when the last came undone Dean slowly eased the black lace over Cas’s head.

“You are so damn fucking beautiful,” Dean breathed. He moved back down and rolled the stool so he could sit and Cas could fall onto the bed if he needed.

And he needed when Dean started rimming him.

“Oh fuck me, fuck me, fuck me, fuck me,” Cas murmured as Dean alternated between tongue fucking and licking wide, fat strips from Cas’s balls all the way up his cleft. Dean had a strong hold on Cas’s hips, though it didn’t stop the man from bucking back onto the sinful tongue, and the other returned to jack the man off. When neither could take Cas clenching around Dean’s tongue anymore Dean stood and pulled his pants and panties down. He spit in his palm a few times to slick himself up (though the amount of precum he was oozing out was probably more than enough) and lay himself over Cas’s back and started to ease himself in.

“Oh Dean, yes, yes, yes, thank you, yes,” Cas babbled and turned his head so he could taste himself and Dean could moan around a tongue stud. Cas kept them steady with his strong arms on the bed so Dean’s hand abandoned a hip and Cas screamed into his mouth when the fingers found studs.

Neither lasted long when they both remembered that this was _their_ bed. They were having sex in _their_ bed. Well not really _in_ the bed, more humping into it, but it was still _their_ bed. Dean came first when he opened his eyes and saw the discarded lace and the image of Cas’s ass behind those straps was enough to get him filling his boyfriend. And Cas always orgasmed when he felt hot cum shoot into him and he groaned in Dean’s mouth.

“Fuck,” Dean whispered. He knew he was going to be oversensitive but he really wanted to curl into Cas on their bed still buried in Cas’s ass. His boyfriend seemed to feel the same so without tugging or moving too much they crawled together onto the bed.

“Damn I love you,” Cas murmured, he grunted when Dean finally gave into the oversensitivity and pulled out but he was sated beyond belief. “So you liked that one?”

“Can you get it in red? Ooh or blue?” Cas giggled.

“Mmm how about I get something different in red or blue? That way you get to see something different. I can’t have you getting bored with me.” Dean whipped him around and looked hard.

“I’m never going to get bored of you.”

“Dean?” Dean opened his eyes and Cas was standing in his tank top dress. “I’m really tired, is it ok that we don’t do a full fashion show tonight?” Dean held his arms wide and Cas snuggled in.

“Absolutely, sweetheart. I know you are going to wake me up at some hour that even God isn’t up at so we might as well sleep now.”

 


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok I know that I've been a while in updating but this chapter is super long!

“Dean,” the older man groaned and pushed himself back into the pillow. The finger still poked his shoulder until he finally popped up.

“You better have made coffee,” his voice died when a strong cup of black coffee was held under his nose. Cas crawled back in bed and wiggled in happily. “I don’t even want to ask what time it is.” Dean groused but he was having an incredibly hard time being pissed when the love of his life just looked so damn happy.

“It’s half past six,” Cas said primly and Dean yawned into his coffee.

“And what time did you get up, love of my life?”

“Five.”

“You reorganized your books didn’t you?” Dean kissed the tip of Cas’s nose. “You book freak.”

“Well Dean you cannot put Wright next to Gehry their styles are completely different, and don’t get me started on time periods.” Dean laughed and rolled his eyes then made a noise of protest when Cas took his mug and sipped from it. Cas shut him up with a kiss then handed the mug back. “I can’t believe I’m actually starting this.” He murmured. “I’ve always wanted…and now…”

“I know, I felt like that too. I called you but you were at school, I was just so excited to start and learn and become what I wanted.”

They snuggled until Cas’s phone went off reminding him he had two and a half hours before he had to be in class. He went to the closet and Dean just rolled in bed (being a far more intelligent student and not scheduling class until after eleven) and nodded or shook his head at everything.

“That’s too fancy. People are gonna peg you for a freshman instantly.” Cas made a face but went back. He came out again in a black pleated skirt, white button up, and brown vest. “Yes, you look…” Dean cocked his head to the side and got up. He found what he needed in closet and handed the blue tie over. “Now you’re perfect.” Cas smiled and went to the bathroom to put his makeup on.

“Oh you don’t have to get up,” he tried to push Dean back in the bed but Dean was having none of it. He was already half dressed and he threw on a tee-shirt and plaid and slotted his fingers with Cas.

“Like hell, I’m walking you to your first class sweetheart, and every single one I can after that.” They went out to the kitchen and started making toast and cereal. Benny was in the shower and they all waved off as Dean walked a nervous Cas to campus. Their apartment was only three blocks off the school which was amazing that they would be able to walk and save money on gas.

“I’m in Branson first,” Cas looked at his schedule. Dean knew every crease of that paper by heart and he was sure Cas could identify the molecules of the schedule he’d looked at it so many times.

“Introduction to econ, sexy,” Dean grinned and kissed Cas’s temple. They heard shouts of fag and cross dresser but neither cared. “I love you.” Dean whispered and Cas nodded. He shifted his backpack straps and went into the classroom. Dean went back to the apartment and got his backpack and leafed through his textbooks a bit. His class would start five minutes after Cas’s ended and since Branson was just next to Dean’s engineer building Dean thought a nice surprise and coffee was exactly what his boyfriend needed.

So he filled his bag, found a kiosk and got two lattes and waited for Cas’s class to get done.

It was good he waited because his first class ended up being one of _those_ professors who expected the first forty five chapters to be read on the first day. Dean had looked over his textbook while he waited for his boyfriend (a man who hugged and kissed him hard in excitement when he saw Dean waiting) so when the professor called on him he started the class right by correctly answering.

***

“So I was thinking,” Cas looked over at Dean. They were in bed (with their clothes _on_ how grown up) Cas was on his stomach and Dean on pillows. Both had books and notebooks and after a month Cas was finally starting to feel like a real honest to goodness college student. He studied at the library, had fantastic sex, joined the sci-fi club (that one was following Dean) he felt so grown up it was awesome. “I want to get a job.”

“Sweetheart you just started college… I mean I’m not going to stop you but I just want to be sure you’re ok with the extra work load.”

“I was just thinking about the grocery store around the corner, they need another cashier and some extra cash would be good.” Dean, being part of the automotive engineer program, worked at the campus run garage fixing everything that needed to be fixed. It was an automatic work study job and it really helped taking away the stress of trying to find a job.

“That sounds great.” Dean smiled and leaned down to kiss Cas.

Thanksgiving crept up on them.

It wasn’t until Cas was asked to hang paper turkeys all over the store did he realize what time of the year it was.

“Dean,” he called when he stumbled into their apartment. Benny had a late class but Dean should be home.

“Yeah?” And just the sound of those four letters calmed Cas right down. He could take on the world on his boyfriend’s voice alone.

“We need to book a flight,” he put the groceries in the fridge. Another perk, the staff got to buy food at a discount, so what if the cans were dented or the boxes slightly ripped? It was cheap, good, food.

“Oh shit, I forgot,” Dean came out of the room and embraced his lover. “I’m sorry.” He petted chocolate hair and Cas sighed into his neck.

“One down two to go. I’ll be fine.” He said over Dean’s opened mouth. “I have you to look at and Sam to take care of. I’ll be fine.”

“I know sweetheart. Do you want to come out to them now?”

“Dean I’m pretty sure the dresses and makeup gave them the message that I was gay.”

“No, I mean about us.”

“Oh.” Cas worried his lips. “Do you want to?”

“I want to shout it from the fucking rooftops…but,” Dean looked down. “To them? I don’t know. They won’t let us share a room and I really need to share your room.” Cas nodded.

“I agree. I think we should just not say anything and tell them at Christmas. It isn’t like they deserve to know anything about us, or like they have the right to judge us.”  

“Ok,” Dean kissed Cas’s nose. “You know I love you and just because I don’t want to tell them means nothing, right?”

“Oh you love me?” Cas tilted his head to the side, “I didn’t know that actually, you may need to remind me.” Dean giggled and kissed all over his boyfriend’s neck and Cas moaned softly.

“I’m not going to get too into this, it’s your turn to make dinner tonight.” Dean licked one more time across Cas’s panting neck and then moved away. “I’ll book us a flight, you have to work on Wednesday and Sunday, right?” He opened his eyes wide.

“Oh yes, I forgot to tell you I got the midnight shift on Saturday too so we’ll need to leave sometime on Saturday morning.” Cas winked. In truth he took all week off but Benny was going to their friend’s from high school so the apartment was theirs from Tuesday until Monday.

“Oh good, I was going to ask you about that.” Dean went to the bedroom and grabbed his laptop. He settled on the couch and listened to his boyfriend putter around in the kitchen. “ _Grey’s Anatomy_?”

“You have an addiction to shitty tv shows my darling,” Cas kissed the top of Dean’s head and went back to the kitchen. He’d gotten some hamburger on the cheap and a ripped box of hamburger helper so he started in on pasta. Benny and Dean both loved that Cas worked at the grocery store and all the cheap food meant they could buy fresh so Cas busied himself with a homemade sauce they could freeze and when everything was simmering and the pasta boiling he curled into Dean’s side for a few minutes.

“Hey there,” Dean rolled so he could kiss up and down Cas’s neck and they just lay on one another and groaned when the timer went off.

“Hey seems I came at the right time,” Benny joked as they closed the door. “This smells amazing, and it looks like you’ve been having fun,” they flicked at the still wet hickey on Cas’s neck.

“Hey we didn’t have sex,” Dean called without looking back from his laptop.

“How very generous of you,” Benny said dryly. They went to their room and came out a bit later in sweats and a sweatshirt. To save on money the apartment was kept cool but no one minded. Dean and Cas kept one another warm and Benny liked sweats.

“Hey sweetheart,” Dean called, “I got us a flight that will get in on Wednesday night at five, that sound good?”

“Yeah, you should call Sam. See if he can get in around that time.” Benny lay a comforting hand on Cas’s shoulder.

“Can’t you just tell them all fuck you and wear what you want?” they said softly.

“Not until Sam is eighteen. If I go back on this deal they can bring him home or press charges against Jess because he’s underage and they could claim she kidnapped him.” Cas sighed heavily.

“Cas,” Dean called. “Sam wants to talk to you.”

“Hey,” Cas held the phone between his ear and shoulder. “How’s medical school treating you?”

“Fine, Castiel,” they chatted a bit more and just caught up.

“They’re really close aren’t they?” Benny settled on the couch next to Dean.

“Yeah, I think maybe it was because when Sammy was little he thought that I only hung out with him _because_ I was his brother. But Cas chose him. Cas was just so good with Sam that he always chose Cas over me.” There was no jealousy in his voice but just love. He freaking loved that Sam had someone that he could be so comfortable with. And as for Cas…well it was damn fucking easy to see how someone could feel so comfortable with the dude. Cas was Dean’s favorite person on the planet and Dean _knew_ how freaking easy it was to fall in love with him.

“Wait where did Jess take you?” the deep voice in the background and it calmed him. Dean knew over the coming weeks until Thanksgiving he was going to be on edge and then when the holiday actually came…

“Something you want to talk about, brother?” dean jumped slightly, he was so into his own thoughts that he forgot the being next to him.

“Sorry I guess I just sort of got caught up in my own…” Benny let him figure out what he needed to say. “I just…” he heard Cas’s deep voice again. “I love him so damn much and I’m worried that I might just start punching when they treat him bad…” Dean paused. “There is nothing wrong with him.” He said forcefully. “And I know he’s going to do exactly what they say to protect Sam and he’s going to want me to do the same but I’m worried that I won’t be able to.” He sighed at the bark of laughter behind them.

“Well, I guess you’ll have to decide what’s more important to you,” Benny said slowly. “Defending Cas’s honor, or doing what he wants you to do. I know that what they’re putting him through is wrong and that you _should_ defend him. So you have to decide what’s more important.” Dean nodded.

“Thanks, you wanna come with us?”

“If I didn’t have plans I would.”

They watched tv for a while more just catching up and talking about classes. They ate Cas’s supper with vigor and Benny took an early night stating they had a test early tomorrow morning. So Cas and Dean nestled into each other and the couch and watched tv while Cas finished his econ homework.

“I’m worried I won’t be able to stay calm.” Dean held Cas in his eyes and arms in the dark of their bed the night before they were getting on a plane. “I love you so much and it just hurts me when you aren’t treated the way you deserve. Like I feel actual pain.” He worried his lips and Cas smiled softly.

“Dean…” he sighed. “I know it’s going to be hard, and I know you will die protecting me, but…” he closed his book and pulled their blanket up to his chin. “I shouldn’t care what they think, what she thinks. Everything that she’s said and done in the past years I shouldn’t care.” He sighed, “But she’s my mom,” he looked up at his boyfriend, “You know?”

“Yeah,” Dean kissed Cas’s nose. “I get it, dad’n me haven’t been all that close since Sammy, I don’t mind, Sammy was a handful growing up, but you and your mom were together for a while before we Brady Bunched it up. I don’t judge you.”

The flight was uneventful and Cas whispered silly nothings into Dean’s ear the whole way and stroked his white knuckles on the seat’s arm rests. They held hands as long as they could but it was hard when they finally met up with Sam at the airport.

“Hug!” Cas had been looking at a storefront window, they were just killing time at that moment when he heard a roar and he was knocked over by a six foot man. Arms wrapped around his head and Cas laughed and patted Sam’s back.

“Hey, Sam!”

“Castiel! I got taller!” Sam towered over both his brothers, Cas just laughed but Dean looked a little pissed.

“I’d appreciate it if the _oldest_ brother was the tallest,” he said pointedly and Sam laughed.

“I can’t help it Dean, it’s in my genetics.”

“We’re brothers! We should have the same genetics!” Dean crossed his arms and Sam looked slightly affronted. “I’m kidding, Sammy, hug?” Sam beamed and surged forward. “Damn, soon you’ll be able to pick me up.” They all laughed and then slowly made their way to the luggage bay.

“Castiel, you’re wearing pants.” They’d been keeping the questions pointed at Jess, and medical school, and Boston, but Cas knew that Sam would notice sooner rather than later.

“Yeah, I didn’t want to be stopped by security, and it’s just easier to move around airports in pants.” Cas lied easily and Dean looked like this wasn’t news to him.

“I suppose that makes sense…” Sam frowned and went to a carousal to get his bag. Dean went to grab their bag and Cas started his rouse looking for his bag. Dean squeezed his hand and Cas went over to baggage claim. They both worked out this lie on the plane. Sam would have never ending questions about why Cas was in pants with no makeup so they figured lost luggage was the easiest answer. Especially since Cas wanted it all settled before they saw their parents because he _really_ didn’t want Sam to learn the real reason he was in pants.

“Hey, I have to pretend that my bag is lost so I’m just going to chat with you for a second.” He smiled at the woman behind the desk.

“I’m sorry? Is your bag actually lost?” she started to pick up the correct paperwork for lost bags.

“No, it’s really complicated but my brother is over there and he has to believe that my bag is lost.”

“Oh…ok?” The woman still looked confused and Cas smiled.

“Have you ever had to lie to someone you love to protect them from a truth that will just hurt them?”

“Yes…”

“Well my lie is that my baggage is lost so that my brother doesn’t find out just how big of jackasses our parents are.”

“And that will work if you say you lost your bag?”

“You got it,” Cas could tell she was still trying to process, “I’m transvestite, and our parents _really_ have an issue with it, I’m now allowed to wear anything girly around them. My brother doesn’t know this and it’s going to be easier on all of us if he just thinks…”

“That your bags are lost,” the woman nodded finally understanding. “I’m very sorry, sir but it seems your bags were rerouted to Chicago.” She said loudly and Cas frowned.

“What’s going on?” Cas turned and saw Sam and Dean behind him. The woman continued to type on her computer.

“It seems that your bags were sent to Chicago on accident, I’m so sorry sir, would you like me to send them here to Lawrence?”

“We’re only here for the holiday, can you send them to Seattle?” Cas gave out their address and the woman fake typed it into the computer.

“Again I apologize again, sir, and have a happy holiday.” Sam walked away muttering, Dean clapped him on the shoulder and Cas whispered a fervent thank you to the woman and followed them.

“Do you want to go and buy some skirts, Castiel? I can understand that it will be uncomfortable in pants all weekend.” Sam with his love for his brother had no idea that he was just pressing the problem.

“Nah, I already have enough clothes, and it’s only three days,” Cas grinned.

“That’s right, our closet is about two thirds your stuff!” Dean threw his arm around Cas’s shoulders and Cas thought he’d never loved the man more. “I can’t tell you how hard it is to wade through everything, Sam, and then when it’s time for laundry, whew I don’t know how I survive.”

“Does he have you sort everything, but when you get it wrong he yells at you?” Sam’s energy lightened and Cas felt better, “And then does he yell at you for not helping with the laundry?”

“Yes! All clothes should be on one setting, not fifteen different things, like cold/hot, cold/cold, hot/hot, I swear you make up half the settings, babe,” Dean kissed Cas’s nose and then pulled away when they made their way to the public area. Naomi was waiting for them waving like mad.  Her smile was forced but when she saw Cas her entire being sagged in relief. She looked genuinely happy as she tugged the boys into a hug.

“You’re all here! Sam you’re so tall! And no Jess?”

“No, she had to work in the lab this weekend.” Sam didn’t notice the change in Naomi and thank god for that, Cas thought, he had no idea how Naomi was going to answer those questions.

“Cas,” she opened her arms and hugged him tight. “So good to see you in…” he hugged her again to cut her off.

“Not a word about this deal. He doesn’t know.” He pulled back with a smile. “You look good, mom.” He grabbed Dean’s bag and started following behind them.

The three days weren’t awful, they were just passable. Cas tried his hardest to forget about the relief and the whole change of feeling that Naomi and John treated him with. They watched the parade on Thanksgiving and ate too much food and then lounged on the sofas watching the game. Cas felt too cold, he even grabbed Dean’s sweatshirt and a blanket, it was the lack of another body’s heat next to him. He missed Dean’s warmth and strength. He missed the solidness of Dean’s body when they curled on the couch together.

“I missed you today,” Dean said softly into Cas’s neck. He rubbed his hands up Cas’s torso and sipped his tee-shirt off. The bedroom was the only place they were safe but even then they took precautions and pulled the mattress to the floor. Dean was kneeling and Cas had his legs wrapped around his boyfriend’s waist.

“I was right next to you,” Cas felt his breath go ragged when Dean found his nipples. He sucked hard at the piercings and Cas had to bite his lip from crying out.

“I know, but I think that was worse, you were right there but I couldn’t hold your hand or touch you at all.”

“It didn’t stop you,” Cas tugged Dean’s head back by his hair. “I thought we were going to get caught when you put your hand under the blanket.”

“We did, why do you think Sam jumped up and spilled the nachos everywhere?” Dean grinned and sank into the fierce kiss. Cas had stripped out of his pants when Dean had sat on the floor but Dean was still in his sweats and shirt. Soon the shirt was gone but Cas refused to move to let the man take his pants off.

“Did you ask him to do that?”

“I might have,” Dean smirked as he rubbed all over the naked glory in front of him. “I might have said if he could create a distraction that would be great so I could kiss you once or twice.”

“I thought he was acting funny,” Cas tilted his head back when lips were back at his neck. Dean’s back bowed out so he could suck lower on Cas’s chest leaving bright bruises in his wake. They’d been so careful not to give a hint, a sign that either was in a relationship and now they were ready to let go a bit.

“Make love with me,” Dean trailed his tongue up and his eyes were fierce in the dark light. “Please, Cas, I need to feel you.”

“As if I’d ever deny you sex.” Cas fumbled with the bag up on the unused bed and found a bottle of travel lube. He helped Dean coat his fingers and then guided them back to his hole. “Fuck yes,” he groaned and tiled his head back. “Don’t stop,” he rose slightly so he could fuck himself on Dean’s finger and he sucked lips into his mouth. They made out, little sounds escaping them as Cas was prepped open.

“I think I might need to take my pants off for this next bit,” Dean was so hard, he couldn’t remember if they’d ever lasted this long without sex. They’d done quick hand jobs the morning before their flight, and the last few weeks had been stressful worrying about this trip that all their sex had been quick if it even happened at all. This they were taking their time with.

Cas tisked in the back of his throat and rolled the sweat band down under Dean’s balls and started coating his cock with lube.

“Problem solved.” He kissed Dean quickly again and wiped his hands on a discarded tee-shirt. He groaned this side of too loud when he held Dean straight and breached himself with the rock hard cock. They were momentarily distracted by loud rock music pouring out of Sam’s room. They froze when they heard footsteps walking down the hall and someone knocking on Sam’s door.

“Sam, buddy, it’s eleven at night,” John’s voice was near yelling over the music.

“I know but I’m in a study that is testing soundwaves on the epidermis.” Sam called back. Cas and Dean didn’t even dare breathe for a moment but then sighed in relief when they heard John walk slowly away.

“I love Sam,” Cas sank further down and sighed happily.

“Maybe not talk about our brother when I’m inside you?” Dean groaned as he pulled Cas as close to his body as he could.

“Fair enough.” Cas grinned and started curling his hips back and forth and swiveling the cock inside him. Dean’s arms were like a vice around him, one going up his spine and the other grabbing at the globe of Cas’s ass. The hand up Cas’s spine found his hair and Dean smashed their lips together as they grunted and moved in unison. Dean was never going to tire of Cas’s tongue piercing and he felt his lust amp up when he felt the ball roll around in his mouth. Cas continued to thrust his hips back and forth and he felt as if his cock was inside someone two the way that it was trapped between them.

Dean figured out how to raise up on his knees and thrust up and Cas had to break from the kiss to toss his head back, giving over to the lava that was flowing through his veins. Both of Dean’s hands now gripped Cas’s shoulders to keep the man in place as Dean kicked his hips up into a faster gear.

“Oh fuck that’s it.” Cas wrapped his arms around Dean’s head and held it close to his chest. He could feel Dean panting into his collarbone and every now and then a sharp bite would send him all the closer to the edge.

“I’m going to come.” Dean warned.

“No, not yet, more, I want more,” Cas yelped when Dean dropped them back and switched their position. They fell into missionary and kissed like horny animals as Dean rammed his shaft as deep as he could. Cas bent his legs and pressed them as high as they would go on Dean’s back and groaned when his boyfriend got the message. Dean threw both legs over his elbows and caught Cas’s scream in his mouth.

In the back of Dean’s head he realized that the music was his favorite AC/DC song, “You shook me all night long” and that his thrust had been in tempo with the beat. He grinned and decided he would tell Cas later, not when his mouth could be doing so many more important things like kissing his soul mate stupid.

Cas’s toes started to curl somewhere around Dean’s shoulders as the man repeatedly hit his prostate over and over again. Precum was in a steady flow between them and Dean felt he was going to go crazy off the lust and smell of Cas around him.

“I’m going to…to…” Cas arched up and that was when Dean slowed down.

“Now?”

“No, longer, more,” Cas whined and Dean rolled off and turned Cas on his side. He threw a calf on his shoulder and straddled one leg as his cock found its home. He wiped the sweat off his brow and started fucking again as Cas choked out little moans. This was a favorite position for Dean, he loved being able to watch Cas fall apart as he got fucked, and with Cas’s leg between Dean’s, Dean could hump his balls on Cas’s thigh as his cock humped Cas raw.

“Fuck, Cas, you’re so fucking beautiful, love you, love you,” Dean whined as Cas arched and writhed on the mattress. “I need to come, please, baby, let me come,” Cas looked up, he looked wild and Dean twitched inside him as his hips started to move at a blur.

“More,” Cas whisper was raw and Dean kissed the ankle next to his ear. He dropped the leg and Cas rolled onto his stomach, they both knew this wasn’t going to last much longer but neither cared as Dean sank back into Cas.

They were flat on the bed with Dean’s ass bobbing as he fucked hard and deep in Cas. Cas’s legs were wide on the bed, splayed out under Dean as he rutted himself into the mattress. He turned his head and Dean kissed him sloppy and messy just the way they both loved it. Dean wrapped an arm under Cas’s head as the other hand just rubbed whatever sweaty skin he could reach.

“Fuck, yes,” Dean hissed as he started to empty himself into the love of his life.

“Yes, yes, that’s it,” Cas encouraged as he started to come as well. Their orgasm lasted forever and both weakly moved their hips to get just a little more pleasure in.

“Damn,” Dean rolled off and grinned. Cas turned his head and his mouth formed a dopy smile. It was full of sex and boneless ecstasy that Dean just had to lean up and kiss him softly. “I think my favorite thing will be the way you look right after sex.”

“You said this morning your favorite thing was me waking up after you.”

“Only because ever since you’ve started college you’ve woken me up hours before I needed to be!” Dean smiled as he got a kiss. They rolled and Cas curled himself up on Dean’s chest. Dean absently rubbed Cas’s back and before long the man was fast asleep over his heart. Dean didn’t fall asleep just yet, he still felt tingly from the incredible sex and also watching Cas sleep was his favorite thing.

“Dean?” Sam came in softly through their shared bathroom. The room had cooled off and as sex wasn’t heating them up anymore Dean had thrown a comforter around them but they were still on the floor. “Are you…finished?”

“Yeah buddy,” Dean grinned. “Thanks for the music.”

“I thought it might help,” Sam ducked his head and patted his arm. “When Jess and I make love we can be quite loud…”

“Right, well I’m glad to hear that.”

“And we last for hours and hours,” Sam seemed to want to go on and Dean was glad he was in such a sharing mood but Cas had started to stir.

“I should let you get some sleep,” Sam looked over at Cas’s sleeping face. “I don’t want you to think I favor Castiel more than you, but I can’t think of a time I’ve ever seen him happier. At least when he is allowed to wear his dresses. You are a very good man, Dean Winchester.” Sam nodded again and went back to his room. The music stopped and Dean sighed. He kissed Cas’s scalp and felt the drifts of consciousness slowly let him go into nothingness.

***

“We’ll see you all at Christmas!” Naomi waved, John had come with this time and he clapped Cas on the shoulder.

“You’ve really grown up to be a man, haven’t you, son?” he grinned and Cas was just glad that both Dean and Sam were far enough away. “Dean really turned you around hasn’t he?”

“I couldn’t have done it without him,” Cas nodded as politely as he could and returned to Dean’s side.

“Be sure you stay longer next time, no work! We’ll pay for your missing wages and your plane tickets, and Sam bring Jess, we would love to see her!” Naomi was over the moon at her apple pie family. There were no strange looks from anyone passing them by, she was the mother of three tall boys who all looked perfectly normal and nothing was out of the usual.

“I can’t promise about work,” Dean said, “Cas and I have no say in our scheduling.”

“Pish posh, we want to spend time with you, it seems like you barely got here and now you’re leaving!” Naomi tried to say more but Cas looked at his watch.

“We have to go or we’re going to miss our flight, it was great to see you mom,” he hugged her and kissed her cheek, “Until Christmas.” He was going to go in and shake John’s hand but the man pulled him into a hug.

“I’m so proud of you, son.”

They went through security and Cas felt like he had a million ants crawling under his skin. Fortunately, their flights were at opposite ends of the airport and Sam had to hurry to catch his flight.

“I love you, Castiel,” Sam hugged him hard and then hugged Dean. “I’ll call you when I land.” His golden eyes were searching Cas’s downed blue ones but Cas refused to look up. Sam pursed his lips and looked at Dean who shook his head gently.

“We’ll talk to you in a few hours, I’m going to look forward to sleeping in tomorrow.” Dean gave his brother one more hug and they parted ways after that.

“Hey,” Dean bumped Cas’s shoulder with his and when that didn’t work he bundled the man up in his arms. “I’m sorry, shhh let it out,” Dean rubbed Cas’s back as the man sobbed into his chest as they sat and waited for their plane. Cas burrowed in under Dean’s arm and they spent the entire flight with Cas curled and crying on Dean’s chest.

Somewhere over Colorado Cas stopped crying and just lay numb listening to Dean’s heartbeat. He remained numb while Dean got them off the plane and then back to their apartment.

“Baby, why don’t you sit on the couch and I’ll cook us up some dinner?” Dean went to the kitchen and looked in the cupboards and fridge for food. “How do you feel about stir fry? Or I can make soup.” He jumped when arms came around him and a face was pressed into his back.

“I love you.” Cas murmured softly and Dean smiled. He could feel his blush creeping down his neck and he rubbed the hands on his chest and stomach.

“I love you too.”

That’s when they knew, no matter what, they were going to be all right.


End file.
